考點(diǎn)40讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)05對(duì)話模式突破（原卷版）【命題解讀】“對(duì)話”何時(shí)用？如何寫(xiě)？寫(xiě)多少？寫(xiě)哪里？看完本節(jié)的講解，會(huì)有一個(gè)比較明晰的答案。【思維導(dǎo)圖】“對(duì)話”注意事項(xiàng)1）對(duì)話描寫(xiě)必須為推動(dòng)故事情節(jié)服務(wù)，是情節(jié)發(fā)展的一個(gè)環(huán)節(jié)，每段出現(xiàn)一兩句即可；2）對(duì)話描寫(xiě)必須反映人物的心理與情感，刻畫(huà)人物的性格；3）對(duì)話描寫(xiě)不宜過(guò)長(zhǎng)，側(cè)重口語(yǔ)化詞匯，避開(kāi)生僻詞匯；4）對(duì)話描寫(xiě)要盡可能結(jié)合動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)，明確對(duì)誰(shuí)說(shuō)，具有畫(huà)面感；5）對(duì)話描寫(xiě)中要學(xué)會(huì)使用幾個(gè)感嘆詞，表示說(shuō)話人的喜、怒、哀、樂(lè)等情緒；對(duì)話標(biāo)簽的三個(gè)位置她說(shuō)，“我想和你一起去，但我還沒(méi)有完成家庭作業(yè)。”這句話用英語(yǔ)，從句式結(jié)構(gòu)的角度來(lái)看，怎么表達(dá)呢？特別是對(duì)話標(biāo)簽shesaid的位置變化。【1.

對(duì)話標(biāo)簽在前】Shesaid,“Iwouldliketogowithyou,butIhaven’tfinishedmyhomework.”【2.

對(duì)話標(biāo)簽在后】“Iwouldliketogowithyou,butIhaven’tfinishedmyhomework.”Shesaid.這兩句是最常見(jiàn)的形式，大家寫(xiě)出來(lái)，應(yīng)該問(wèn)題不大。我們來(lái)看第三種形式。【3.

對(duì)話標(biāo)簽在句子中間】“Iwouldliketogowithyou,”shesaid,“butIhaven’tfinishedmyhomework.”注意：對(duì)話標(biāo)簽在后或者在句子中間時(shí)（第2,3種情況），如果主語(yǔ)是名詞，則可以倒裝。而代詞不可以倒裝，saidshe是錯(cuò)誤的。“Iwouldliketogowithyou,butIhaven’tfinishedmyhomework.”saidEmily（或者Emilysaid.）“Iwouldliketogowithyou,”saidEmily/Emilysaid,“butIhaven’tfinishedmyhomework.”對(duì)話"四大誤區(qū)"1.

廢話連篇，對(duì)情節(jié)發(fā)展和刻畫(huà)人物性格沒(méi)有幫助。“Hey,howareyou?”“I’mfine,howareyou?”“Howistheweather?”“Terrific!Nicedayforawalk,isn’tit?”這樣的對(duì)話在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中很真實(shí)，但是小說(shuō)畢竟是藝術(shù)加工，無(wú)助情節(jié)推動(dòng)的，不能刻畫(huà)人物性格的日常寒暄和偏離文章主線的對(duì)話絕對(duì)不用。【2.追求花哨，過(guò)度使用對(duì)話標(biāo)簽】“Thatisfantasticnews,”hesaidhappily.此句中完全沒(méi)有必要加上一個(gè)happily來(lái)表達(dá)說(shuō)的方式，因?yàn)榫渲械膄antastic一詞足以說(shuō)明說(shuō)話人了表情，過(guò)度強(qiáng)調(diào)

會(huì)讓讀者的注意力集中在“說(shuō)話的方式”而不是“說(shuō)話的內(nèi)容”。建議改為：“Thatisfantasticnews！”hesaid/screamed/exclaimed.一個(gè)感嘆號(hào)和一個(gè)fantastic已經(jīng)足以讓讀者想象當(dāng)時(shí)的情景。適當(dāng)?shù)摹八囆g(shù)留白”也是需要的，這樣會(huì)留給讀者想象的空間。還有一種避免過(guò)度的dialoguetags的方法是運(yùn)用“動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)”，尤其是表情上動(dòng)作來(lái)取而代之。如：Hereyesreflectedthecandlelightasshesmiledatherson.

“Everyoneisunique.Justfollowyourheartandbeyourself!”當(dāng)她對(duì)兒子微笑時(shí)，她的眼睛反射著燭光。“每個(gè)人都是獨(dú)一無(wú)二的。只要跟隨你的心，做你自己！”【3

用詞不當(dāng)，錯(cuò)誤使用對(duì)話標(biāo)簽】"Ican'tbelieveit,"Emmagasped.(gasp意思為“喘氣”)"That'sfunny,"Henrychuckled.(chuckled.意思為“輕笑”)評(píng)析：以上兩句話也是在大量的學(xué)生習(xí)作中發(fā)現(xiàn)的。這里把動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)和動(dòng)作標(biāo)簽

混淆了，試想誰(shuí)能gasp（喘息）、chuckle（輕笑）出一句話？除非他或她有特異功能。糾正方法如下："Ican'tbelieveit,"Emma

saidwithagasp.

（對(duì)話標(biāo)簽Emmasaid+with介詞短語(yǔ)）Emmagasped.

"Ican'tbelieveit."

（動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)+句號(hào)）"Ican'tbelieveit."

Emmagasped.

（對(duì)話句+動(dòng)作描寫(xiě),注意對(duì)話句式句號(hào)）"That'sfunny!"

Henry

chuckled.

（感嘆句結(jié)束+動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)）"That'sfunny,"Henry

said,chuckling.

（Questiontag+

分詞做伴隨狀況）請(qǐng)?zhí)貏e關(guān)注以上對(duì)話的標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)。【4

對(duì)話標(biāo)簽多此一舉：對(duì)話對(duì)象十分明確，仍使用對(duì)話標(biāo)簽】“Itoldyoualready,”Isaid,glaring.評(píng)析：此句貌似豪華，其實(shí)對(duì)話中的主語(yǔ)“I”已經(jīng)清晰地說(shuō)明了說(shuō)話者，完全沒(méi)有必要用對(duì)話標(biāo)簽“Isaid”

來(lái)說(shuō)明說(shuō)話對(duì)象。糾正方法：加上一點(diǎn)動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)就可以避免這種錯(cuò)誤，并且提升語(yǔ)言的生動(dòng)性。Iglaredathim.

“Itoldyoualready.”讓你的對(duì)話標(biāo)簽不平庸四個(gè)小技巧在對(duì)話標(biāo)簽中加入語(yǔ)氣，嗓音，情感讓你的描寫(xiě)更生動(dòng)傳神。【①第一種：加語(yǔ)氣】“Iwouldloveto,”saidEmily

inapleasanttone.

“我很樂(lè)意這樣做，”艾米麗用一種愉快的語(yǔ)氣說(shuō)。這里用到了“inapleasanttone.

”，即“用一種愉快的語(yǔ)氣”，基本結(jié)構(gòu)為：ina/an+形容詞+tone如：

ina

pleasant愉悅的/firm堅(jiān)定的/rude粗魯?shù)?sad悲傷的

tone也可以用

inatoneof+名詞的搭配如：inatoneof

surprise用一種驚訝的語(yǔ)氣inatoneofcuriosity用一種好奇的語(yǔ)氣inatoneofimpatience用一種不耐煩的語(yǔ)氣inatoneofmand用一種命令的語(yǔ)氣【②

第二種：加嗓音】“Ididn’tmeanto,”shemurmured

inalowvoice.

“我不是故意的，”她低聲說(shuō)。這里用到了“

inalowvoice”，即“小聲地說(shuō)道”或者“用一種...聲音”，基本結(jié)構(gòu)是：

ina/an+形容詞+voice如：

ina

high/low/sweet/loud/soft/weak

voice用一個(gè)高/低/甜/響亮/軟/弱的聲音【③第三種：加情感】“I...I..don’tthinkI’mrightforthepart,”Ireplied

withembarrassment.“我...我..認(rèn)為我不適合這個(gè)角色，”我尷尬地回答。這里用到了“

withembarrassment”，即“（伴隨著）難堪”，基本結(jié)構(gòu)是：

with+情感名詞。如withexcitement（伴隨著）激動(dòng)。【④加副詞】“我再也不會(huì)那樣做了，”我回答。如何豐富這句話里的對(duì)話標(biāo)簽?zāi)兀俊癐willneverdothatagain,”Ianswered

firmly.加上了副詞firmly（堅(jiān)定地）這句話也可以這么寫(xiě)：可將副詞提到句首。Firmly，Ianswered，“Iwillneverdothatagain.”【模擬題1】（2022·重慶市育才一模）閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。ChrisDykstrahadn’texpectedwhatbeganasacasualwalkaroundtheneighborhoodwiththefamilyonenightledtoajourneyoffriendship.ChrisDykstra,atrafficmanagerinShorewood,Illinoishadnoticedafewraccoons(浣熊)wanderingaroundhisgarbage.However,hedidn’tthinktoomuchofit.OnenightwhenhiswifeJuliewastakingtheirfourchildrenforawalkafterdinner,theytrackedtheraccoonsbacktotheirneighbor’sroof.Afurtherinvestigationshowedthattheraccoonshadchewedaholeintheneighbor’sroofandwerelivinginherattic(閣樓).Thecouplehadlivedintheircurrenthomeforfiveyears.Yettheyhadverylittlecontactwiththeneighbor.TheyknewherfirstnamewasDoreneandthatshelikedtowatchtheirchildrenplayinthebackyard,andthat’saboutit.Concernedfortheirneighbor’swell-being,Juliedecidedtoknockonthedoortomaketheirneighborawareoftheraccoonslivingintheattic.Julieknockedonthedoorandrangthedoorbell,butnooneanswered.Shedecidedtoaskthelocalpolicedepartmenttodoawellnesscheckontheirneighbor.Twopoliceofficersandananimalcontrolofficervisitedtheneighbor’shometoconductawellnesscheck.Thistimetheneighbor—MissDoreneShock—openedthedoor.MissShockwassurprisedtoseesomeonecheckinonher.Theofficersmadeherawareoftheraccoonsinherattic.Havingbeentoldthewholething,MissShockweledJulieintoherhouse.Aftertouringthehouse,JulielearnedthatMissShocklivedapoorlife.Herhomebarelyhadanyfurniture,andsheevendidn’thaveaTVset.Besides,herhousewasinneedofadditionalrepairsandupdatesincludingnewlightbulbs.注意：1.續(xù)寫(xiě)詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Chrisandhiswifeknewthiswasanopportunitytohelpaneighborinneed._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Severaldayslater,ChrisandhiswifecameacrossMissShockandhadachatwithher._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【模擬題2】（2022·全國(guó)·重慶南開(kāi)模擬預(yù)測(cè)）閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。Itwassixo’clockwhenBreannaheardhermother’sphonereceiveatextmessageasit’satonthekitchenbench.“Mum,Ibetit’sDad!”Breannasaidandjumpedupfromthesofa,booksspillingoutinfrontofher.Shehadbeendecidingwhichstoryherdadwouldreadinoneofhisfunnyvoicesforthenight.Breanna’smumrubbedhertemples(太陽(yáng)穴)andsighedsoftly.“Honey,wouldyoumindseeingifthat’sDaddy?I’vegotabadheadachebutIwanttostartcookingalovelymealforustoenjoytonight.”“Sure,mum,”Breannaskippedintothekitchentocheckthephone.Herdadhadbeenawayfortwowholenightsworkingonamalfunction(故障)athispany’swarehousethatwasatriskoftheft.Breannafeltsurehe’dbeenabletoactlikeasuperheroandsavetheday—butdidithavetotakesolong?Shepickedupthephoneandreadthemessage,“Justleavingnow—can’twaittoseeyouboth.”Breannaconfirmedexcitedly,“It’sfromDaddy!He’sonhiswayhome!”Hermothermanagedaweaksmileasherdaughterclappedherhandswithjoy.Ithadbeenfourmonthssinceshe’dlostherjobandwithonlyoneinetosupportthefamily.Herhusbandhadtakenonasmanyshiftsandextradutiesashecouldtomakeendsmeet.Timesweretoughandhewasworkinglonghours,butitmadethetimeBreannaspentwithherdaddyevenmorespecial.“Oh,that’swonderfulnews.Nowlet’sseewhatIcanfindtoeat,”hermotherrosepainfullyfromthesofaandadded.注意：1.續(xù)寫(xiě)詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。“Great!Mum’sgotabadheadachebutI’mgoingtohelphercookdinner.Seeyousoon!”Breannasentherdadaquickreply._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________AnothermessagefromherfatherdrewBreanna’sattention._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【模擬題3】（2022·湖南·一模）閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫(xiě)的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。Whenatornadohitasmalltownnearby,manyfamilieswerelefthomeless.Afterward,allthelocalnewspaperscarriedstoriesofthefamilieswhosufferedthehardesttoappealtopeople’sattentionandassistance.OneSunday,aparticularpictureespeciallytouchedme.Ayoungwomanstoodinfrontofamobilehome,adepressedexpressiononherface.Ayoungboy,sevenoreightyearsold.stoodatherside,eyesdowncast.Hidingbehindherskirtwasatinygirlwhostaredintothecamera,wideeyeswithconfusionandfear.Thearticlebelowgaveclothingsizescloselymatchedours.Thiswouldbeagoodopportunitytoteachmyseven-year-oldtwins.BradandBrett,andthree-year-oldMeghantohelpthoselessfortunatethanthemselves.“Wehavesomuch.Andthesepoorpeoplenowhavenothing”Isaid.“We’llsharewhatwehavewiththem,”Ibroughtthreelargeboxesdownfromtheroomupstairsandplacedtheminthelivingroom.Meghanwatchedseriously,astheboysandIfilledoneoftheboxeswithcannedgoodsandfoods.WhileIsortedthroughourclothes,Iencouragedtheboystogothroughtheirtoysanddonatesomeoftheirlessfavoritethings.Theboyswerepleasedtojoin.Bradroseandwenttohisroomfast.Hecamebackbringinghisactionfiguresthatheplayedwithnotsofrequently.BrettalsojumpedupandrantofetchsomeofhisMatchboxcarsandairplanemodels.Meghanwatchedquietlyastheboyspiledupabandonedtoys.TheboysplacedtheobjectstheyhadchosentodonateintooneoftheboxeswhileIfilledthethirdboxwithclothes.MeghanwalkedupwithLucy,herworn,faded,best-lovedragdollhuggedtightlytoherchest.“I’llhelpyoufindsomethingforthelittlegirl,too.”IsaidtothelittleMeghan.Para.1:“Mommy,IwillgiveLucytothem,”Meghanturnedtome._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Para.2:RecognizingwhatlittleMeghan’sgesturemeant,Iremovedmyoldjacketfromtheboxofclothes._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【模擬題4】（2022·江蘇·模擬預(yù)測(cè)）閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。Forweeks,thetroophadbeenbusypreparingforitsParents’Nightprogram.Everythingwasinorder.Thewallswerefilledwithdisplays,thescouts(童子軍)wereallenthusiastic.Thetableswerecoveredwithgoodthingstoeat.NowitwastimeforJimmieDavistogivehisspeech.Thiswasthemomenthehadbeenlookingforwardtoforseveralweeks.Ashearose,hecaughtaglimpseofhismother’sbrightfaceandhisfather'scalm,confidentexpression.Jimmieheldhisheadhighashestartedhisspeech,hiswordsburstingwithprideandenthusiasm.Hemadesurethespeechwaslivelyandmoving,consciousthathislistenerswereshowinghighpraisetohimbytheircarefulattention.Thensomethinghappened.Theworldseemedtomoveslowlyfromsidetosidebeforehim.Hefelthismindwentblankandforgotwhattosaynext.Hesloweddown,faltered(結(jié)巴),andfinallystopped.Hisfaceturnedred,andhishandssoughteachotherwildly.Indesperation,helookedtowardhisscoutleader,beggingforhishelp.Havingheardthatboyishbutgreatspeechpracticedagainandagain,theboy’sscoutleadersuppliedthemissingwordsthatallowedJimmietocontinue.Butsomehowitwasdifferentnow.Thewonderfulspeechhadbeenmessedup.Jimmiepausedagain,andonceagainthescoutleaderhelpedhim.Fortheremainingtwominutes,thespeechseemedmorelikethescoutleader’sthanJimmie’s.Afterwhatseemedlikeages,thespeechwasfinallyover.IntheheartofJimmie,whosatdownknowingthathehadfailed,therewasagreatweightpressingdownonhim.Disappointmentwasclearlywrittenonthefaceofhismother.Atwitch(抽搐)ofthefather'sfaceshowedhowpainfulhefelt.Theaudienceapplaudedinaperfunctory(敷衍的)way,feelingsorryfortheboywhotheythoughthadfailed.Butthescoutleaderwasonhisfeet.Hiseyestwinkled.Alltheaudiencelistenedcarefully.注意：1.續(xù)寫(xiě)詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡上的相應(yīng)位置作答。Paragraph1:Thecalm,surevoiceofthescoutleaderechoed(回響)aroundthehall._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Jimmiebegantospeakinatremblingbutfirmvoice._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【模擬題5】（2022·江蘇·南京市第一一模）閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。HenrygotonhisbikeandbegantodelivercopiesoftheMarch8,1970,issueofTheGazette.Halfanhourlater,hethrewthelastnewspaperontotheporch（門(mén)廊）at35OakStreetandcycledtoTheGazetteoffices.Theremustbesomethingimportantfortheeditorinchieftomeetwithan11-year-oldpaperboy."Nogoodwaytodeliverbadnews,"Mr.TrottagreetedhimwhenHenrysteppedin.Henry'ssmilefaded."We'reclosingshop,Henry.Advertisingisdown.Televisionishowpeoplegettheirnewstoday.Localpapersarethefirsttoclose."Mr.Trottashrugged.Henrycouldn’tbelievehisears,frozentothespot.Hethoughtofallhosepeoplehehadmetonhisroute.Theywouldn'tgettheirneighborhoodnewsanymore!Youweregreat,Henry—alwaysdependable"Mr.Trottasaid.Henryforcedhisheaduptosaygood-bye.AsherodepastthehousesheknewsowellhesawMr.Gradyonhisporch,holdingabroom（掃帚）.Henryledhimtoachairandcleanedtheporch.TheysatforawhileasMr.Gradyrecalledhowhappyhe'dbeenmovinghisfamilyto10Oak.Hesoundedlonely.Aweekafterhislastdeliveries,HenrywonderedifhiscustomersmissedTheGazetteasmuchashedid.Hethoughtofawaytofindout.HestartedoutonhisoldroutewithanotebookHenrystoppedatMrs.Burke's.Sheopenedthedoor,holdingthetwobabies.Sheaskedhimifheknewanyneighborswithexperienceoflookingafterchildren.Mr.Simonwasnextdoor,carryinghisviolinout."Hey,Henry.MybandishavingàconcertintheparkthisFriday.Tellallyourfriends."AsHenrymademorenotes,anideastartedforminginhishead.Maybehecouldcreateanewsypage（小報(bào)）fortheneighbors.注意∶1.續(xù)寫(xiě)詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。NeighborscheeredHenry'sidea,readytoofferinformation._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Henry'sfirstOakStreetNewsthenproduceddesiredeffects._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【模擬題6】（2022·廣東·汕頭市聿懷模擬預(yù)測(cè)）閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(xiě)，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。Onabright,warmJulyafternoon,MacHollan,aprimaryschoolteacher,wascyclingfromhishometoAlaskawithhisfriends.Oneofhisfriendshadstoppedtomakeabicyclerepair,buttheyhadencouragedMactocarryon,andtheywouldcatchupwithhimsoon.AsMacpedaled(騎行)alongalone,hethoughtfondlyofhiswifeandtwoyoungdaughtersathome.Hehopedtoshowthemthisbeautifulplacesomeday.ThenMacheardquickandloudbreathingbehindhim.“Man,that'sabigdog!”hethought.Butwhenhelookedtotheside,hesawinstantlythatitwasn’tadogatall,butawolf,quicklycatchingupw