1、Maggie: The senator offered me a job!Jason: What?Maggie: Executive director of Media Relations.Maggie: We are thinking about moving to a wonderful place called Washington DC. Chrissy: The murder capital of the USA?Ben: You guys can go on ahead to Washington, but I'm not going. Maggie: Ok everyon

2、e I have made my decision, I am taking the job in Washington.Jason: You are?Ban: And I'm getting a car!Jason: You are? Kate: Hi, I rushed over as fast as I could. Mike: I am going to get right to the point, Kate let's do it. Kate: Pardon me? Mike: Let's get married. Kate: Mike I have wai

3、ted so long to hear you say that, I am so happy!Mike: Oh, great then it's settled. Kate: Oh this is so unexpected.Mike: Well Kate, with my patents selling the house and moving to Washington DC.Kate: Your parents are moving to Washington?Mike: I mean I have got to start thinking about my future.

4、I mean our future, dearest. I mean let's face it Kate it is going to be though.Kate: Oh I know but we can do it. We might have to scrimp and save.Mike: I am so glad your up for this; I was actually thinking that I was going to have to find myself a new apartment. Kate: Oh really?Mike: Oh yeah, b

5、ut now we can stay at your place. Kate: My place?Mike: Oh then we agree! I was worried there for a second, I mean let's face it my mom is not going to be around to do my cooking and cleaning any more. Kate: Poor baby. But if we were married than I could do those things. Mike: Exactly!Kate: I cou

6、ld keep the refrigerator full and I could help pay those bills.Mike: Ah, Kate your reading my mind.Kate: You could have your friends over and I could wait on them hand and foot.Mike: We are so in sync, this is the perfect time for us to be together. Kate: Mike you are amazing.Mike: Oh well thank you

7、 but I did have a whole night to work this out. Kate: Mike Seaver, I've got three little words for you.Mike: I love you?Kate: Get a dog.Chrissy: Ben you've got to help me, Mr. Blowhole doesn't want to move.Ben: Ok, now why won't he go to Washington? Chrissy: He is afraid that he won&

8、#39;t have any friends to play with. Ben: Well, does he know that I'm going to be there and so will mom and dad?Chrissy: I'm talking friends here Ben, you know his kind. Ben: Oh, well, maybe he will listen to this big butt thing here. Chrissy: That's Bertha Big Jeans.Ben: Man, she needs

9、to cut back on the honey. Chrissy: You don't know a lot, all the animals talk behind your back. Ben: Hi there Mr. Blowhole. Chrissy: Oh, Ben one thing, Mr. Blowhole is good friends with Papa Pig.Ben: Ok. Now see here Blowhole, you have to move with the family. Chrissy: Mr. Blowhole says he was b

10、orn in this house and it is the only place he ever lived. Ben: Well Washington DC is nice place to live.Chrissy: Ben he is scared.Ben: Don't be scared Mr. Blowhole, we are your family and when a family goes somewhere they have nothing to be afraid of. Yeah, yeah. Chrissy: What? Mr. Blowhole says

11、 he will go. Ben: Yeah!Chrissy: And Mr. Blowhole wants to give you the biggest kiss of all.Ben: Oh, that's all right.Chrissy: Come on, kiss Mr. Blowhole. Ben: Ok, come here Blowhole. Pucker up.Mike: Hey dad, I think it's time we have a guy to guy talk. Jason: Yeah well that would be nice Mik

12、e but I am a little busy right now. Mike: Oh well that's up to you dad, but can you afford to put your future on hold?Jason: Oh my God, you got a job selling life insurance. Mike: No dad, it's just that, did you know moving can be one of life's most stressful experiences. I mean its righ

13、t up there with losing a loved one and listening to Ben eat. Jason: Ok Mike, what's this all about?Mike: The truth?Jason: Well yeah, after twenty years, that would be a refreshing change. Mike: Ok dad, the truth is, that with you and mom moving to Washington, I don't know what is going to ha

14、ppen to me. Jason: I didn't know you felt that way. Mike: Yeah well neither did I until I found myself proposing to Kate. Jason: You proposed Mike? Hey congratulationsMike: She turned me down. I guess the woman is allergic to cooking and cleaning. Jason: You mentioned cooking and cleaning in a p

15、roposal? Mike: That's not the only thing I said dad, I mean I also covered love and rent. Jason: Well you can't get married out of convenience. Mike: Why not?Jason: Because marriage is not about convenience Mike, it's about compromise. Look at me, I m moving my practice to Washington. Mi

16、ke: You are moving all your nut-cases to Washington? Jason: No there are plenty of nut-cases in Washington, and they are not nut-cases Mike. Oh hey, it's just that when I heard about the move, I said forget it. But the thing about a relationship is that sometimes you have to consider another per

17、son's needs before your own, put yours on hold.Mike: Dad, that's exactly what I ask Kate to do and she said no.Jason: What I meant was maybe you could put Kate's needs first. But don't let us moving to Washington throw you into a panic Mike. You're going to be able to fend for yo

18、urself. You have grown up. Mike: I have?Jason: Oh yeah, you are ready for responsibility now, total reJason: Ok look, here is the deal. I will give you a little more freedom; you've got to promise me a lot more responsibility. Mike: Hey, no problem dad, I swear, I am ready for total responsibili

19、ty. Jason: Mike, I'm not ready for total responsibility. Jason: Some responsibility. Mike: I hear you dad, I am going to take responsibility for my life. And I am going to start be apologizing to Kate. I just wish I knew the right way to do it. Jason: Well if you don't mind me saying so, I t

20、hink the best way to a women's heart is sincerity. And if that's not working try a little gift. Mike: Candy gram. Kate: Mike is that you?Mike: No, it is a hundred and fifty pound Bon-Bon. Unwrap me.Kate: Pass. Mike: Well then at least read the card. Kate: I heard everything you had to say th

21、is morning. Mike: Kate, come on, it's hot in here. I blacked out twice already. For you.Kate: Thank you. Mike: I had candles going, but I singed my hair. Kate: I've got something on the stove, excuse me.Mike: Kate, look I am sorry about this morning. Kate, it's just that with my folks mo

22、ving to Washington I went temporarily insane. Asking you to marry me was just a knee jerk reaction. Kate: You got it half right.Mike: Kate what I am trying to say is I am selfish and immature and thoughtless and rude and spoiled and.stop me any time here. Kate: I will when I disagree.Mike: Kate, I a

23、m asking you to marry me.Kate: Again?Mike: Yes, when the time is right. Kate: Huh?Mike: Well first, I want to finish school and start a career, so that I can give you the life that you deserve. So will you marry me, someday?Kate: Maybe, ask me someday. Mike: Hey, be careful you going to crush my pac

24、king peanuts. Mike: Hey Carol, Carol what are you doing?Carol: Just looking, thinking; seems so weird to think soon I won't be welcome in this house. Mike: Well, it seems like you should be use to that by now. Sorry, it's on auto pilot. Carol: We haven't had the greatest relationship, ha

25、ve we?Mike: Oh I don't know why you say that. Mike: Hello. Hey! Aw! Hey, that hurt!Carol: Hello. Oh, hi Bobby, lucky you caught me, I was just headed out the door. Mike: Well, at least we won't be living under the same roof, at each other's throats all the time.Carol: Yeah, I mean what a

26、 relief, after twenty-one years together we need a break. Mike: Wow, twenty-one years.Carol: Yeah. Mike: You have always been obnoxious. Jason: Mike, read this line.Mike: I hate this book.Jason: Oh, how do you know? You haven't even read it. Mike: I heard about it I'll just wait for the movi

27、e. Jason: Mikey. Mike: Ok, ok. Don't help me.Carol: (reading) "See Spot run said Dick. Run, run, run. See him wag his tail."Maggie: I heard her, she can read. Four years old and she can read.Jason: It's a mericcall.Maggie: Oh, it's fantastic!Jason: Our little genius.Maggie: Oh,

28、 I'm got to go call mom and dad.Jason: I'll get the paper for her. Carol: Turn the page; I want to see how it comes out. Mike: You have always got me make me look bad don't you?Carol: Yeah.Mike: Big deal, so what if you can read, it doesn't mean nothing. Carol: Sure it does, it means

29、 I'm smart and your stupid. Mike: Oh yeah?Carol: Yeah, you're never even going to graduate. Mike: I bet you fifty bucks I do.Carol: Ok, sucker. Mike: What does graduate mean?Mike: Well, I graduated didn't I?Carol: Yeah, and you were smart enough to stop me from making the biggest mistake

30、 of my life. Mike: What are you talking about? You're still dating Dwight. Carol: No, I was talking about the time I wanted to get a nose job. Carol: If you think I'm even aware that you have been calling me funny looking for the past all my life, your crazy. Mike: Carol: why would you even

31、listen to me? Come on, you know, you're my sister and I m suppose to call you ugly. That's my job. Carol: What, now I suppose your going to say you didn't mean it. Mike: Look, look did you mean it all those times you call me so incredibly stupid? All right, all right bad example. But Car

32、ol, come on, this is brother and sister stuff here, you know? Look, I mean Eddie calls his sister ugly, Bonner thinks his sister is ugly Carol: Bonner's sister is ugly. Mike: That's not the point Carol. The point is you're not ugly, I mean as a matter of fact in the last couple of years

33、you're looking kind of, you have been getting better looking. Carol: Oh sure. Mike: Carol this is tough for me all right? Look, I mean, I have seen the way guys look at you, I know that look.Carol: Yeah?Mike: Yeah, I mean, you know and when your friends look at your sister that way it's kind

34、 of weird. Carol: So you are saying I'm?Mike: (mumbles).Carol: What?Mike: Pretty. I said I think you are kind of pretty. Carol: Wow, you think I'm pretty. Mike: Yeah, look, and if you have any sensitivity at all you will never ever tell anyone I said you weren't a bow-wow. Mike: You know

35、 Carol, I have been thinking, I mean after twenty-one years of my zingers you shouldn't just have to quit cold turkey. Carol: What?Mike: Well, I think we should get together every once in a while. Just to make sure that you don't start getting the idea that you are normal of anything. Carol:

36、 You would do that for me? Mike: Sure.Carol: Jerk. Mike: Geek. Maggie: Ok for our last meal we will pretend that this is an eloquent banquette with a make-believe table.Carol: Make-believe chairs.Jason: And make-believe food. Where are those guys? Carol: It's about time.Mike: Hey, pizza guy.Magg

37、ie: Good I'm starving. Chrissy: Oh good, food. Carol: I can't believe we are actually leaving.Maggie: I know, do you believe that this is the last meal we will ever have in this house? Carol: That's right, sharing stale pizza, smelling Ben. Ben: Is it too late to sell her with the house?

38、 Jason: It's amazing that this house has survived four Seaver children. Maggie: I'll remember this as the house my babies grew up in. Jason: Well they sure were cute as little kids. And they grow up.Mike: Why are you look at me?Jason: Well, he is the only guy we have ever heard of who could

39、pull off scams in two cities at the same time. Remember the time you snuck off to California, you left Ben and Carol to cover for you?Carol: Mike?Mike: I was in here first dog breath.Maggie: Mike, don't call your sister names. Mike: All right.Carol: Mom he has been in there all morning and he sa

40、ys he is going to stay in through breakfast. Maggie: Mike, you don't want breakfast?Mike: No breakfast this morning mom. Maggie: What are you doing in there?Mike: Whatever it is it sure smells good.Maggie: What?Carol: Ah, what do you know Ben; the telephone is ringing at 7:59 exactly. Ben: Oh.Ma

41、ggie: Carol? Carol: I got it. Hello.Mike: Yeah, I am really enjoying my five hours here in Denver. Why am I whispering?Carol: Mike telephone!Mike: I'll take it upstairs. Maggie: Carol, who is on the phone?Carol: Mike. Umm. and Bonner, he is calling over to Bonner's house.Jason: Wait a minute

42、. Mike?Mike: Oh, dad!Jason: You're not going anywhere Mr. 'Mike: I'm not? Ben: Who is dad talking to? Maggie: Mike.Ben: Bye.Jason: Don't worry, he I not taking off until he does his share of the shoveling.Mike: Well dad that is going to be a little tough.Jason: Mike I want to see you

43、 outside in five minutes no excuses. Say goodbye Bonner.Mike: Uh, goodbye Dr. Seaver. Mike: Hey look, I am not the only con artist in this house. How about Benny here, he started to get through more that I did. Ben: Hello God.Mike: What are you doing?Ben: I happen to be praying for money.Mike: Ben y

44、ou can't pray for money, believe me I have tried. You actually think God is going to send you a check or something? Ben: Amen. Woman: Money for the needy.Ben: Thanks.Ben: Come on, let's not forget about Carol.Carol: Me? I have never pulled a scam in my life.Maggie: Oh, what about the time yo

45、u tried to fool that recruiter from Boston College.Jason: And Mike pulled in some bum off the street to play me, in a challenging dual role. Recruiter: I'm sorry your wife won't be joining us this evening.Bum: Oh yes, I am sick about the fact that Mickey can't be here. Recruiter: Isn'

46、;t it Maggie?Bum: Yeah, Mickey is just my pet name for her when we are in the sack. Recruiter: Well Carol, let me begin by saying that your high school grades are nothing short of spectacular.Carol: Thank you.Mike: Yeah, and can you believe he got those straight A's after missing six whole month

47、s because of reform school.Recruiter: Reform school?Carol: Little misunderstanding over a knife. Bum: We are damn proud of the little slut. Carol: Ok, so one little scam no one got hurt. Chrissy: I have never done stuff like that I have always been a perfect angel. Maggie: Oh, well what about the time you threw that tantrum because you thought we were all playing around after you went to bed?Carol: Yeah?Chrissy: Can I help it if I have a healt