專題三寫作提升第五節(jié)細(xì)節(jié)與邏輯(本欄目對(duì)應(yīng)學(xué)生用書P431)

在英語書面表達(dá)中，增加細(xì)節(jié)內(nèi)容描寫是必不可少的。在信息提綱類寫作中，考生一定不能只是簡(jiǎn)單地翻譯或者僅僅完成題目所要求的指定內(nèi)容；在看圖作文中更不能只是輕描淡寫地描述圖片內(nèi)容，否則很有可能造成內(nèi)容不充實(shí)豐富、詞數(shù)要求不達(dá)標(biāo)或者結(jié)構(gòu)不連貫等問題。適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)內(nèi)容，能夠使文章流暢、豐滿，達(dá)到應(yīng)有的表達(dá)效果。增加細(xì)節(jié)內(nèi)容的具體方法如下：※增加時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)等細(xì)節(jié)我已經(jīng)帶來了你讓我歸還的這兩本書。Ihavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmetoreturn.→Ihavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmeto

return

to

the

City

Library.(增加地點(diǎn))［跟蹤練習(xí)1］根據(jù)所給出的漢語提示完成句子1.

(這一次)，scientistswillprofitfromthedata，andwe’recreatingaplatforminwhichtoengageasmanypeopleaspossibleinwhat’shappening

(在北冰洋).

ThistimeintheArcticOcean2.TheChineseSilkRoad，

(以今天的西安為起點(diǎn))andfinallyfinishesattheeastcoastoftheMediterranean，iswell-knowntotheworld.

3.

(一到機(jī)場(chǎng))，ImeetafriendIhaven’tseenforlong.

4.Iwasattractedbythebeautyofthecity

(一……就……)Iarrivedhereat6o’clockinthemorningbyplane.

whichstartsfromtoday’sXi’anOnarrivingattheairportthemoment/immediately/assoonas/directly※增加原因、結(jié)果、條件、讓步、手段、目的等內(nèi)容(1)我會(huì)讀點(diǎn)書。I’lldosomereading.→I’lldosomereadingfor

fun，

and

for

knowledge

as

well.(補(bǔ)充原因)(2)我會(huì)參加一些社交活動(dòng)。I’lltakepartinsomesocialactivities.→If

possible，I’lltakepartinsomesocialactivities.(條件狀語)→Ifpossible，I’lltakepartinsomesocialactivitiesso

that/in

order

that

I

can

know

more

about

the

society.(結(jié)果狀語)(3)特雷西來電話說，博爾頓咖啡屋見面取消。Tracycalled，sayingthatshecouldn’tmeetyouatBoltonCoffee.→Tracycalled，sayingthatshecouldn’tmeetyouatBoltonCoffeeas

she

has

something

important

to

deal

with.(原因狀語)(4)我也幫助鄰里的孩子補(bǔ)習(xí)英語。IalsohelpedchildrenintheneighbourhoodwiththeirEnglishlessons.→IalsohelpedchildrenintheneighbourhoodwiththeirEnglishlessons.To

my

joy，

they

made

rapid

progress

and

their

parents

thought

highly

of

me.(增添結(jié)果)［跟蹤練習(xí)2］根據(jù)所給出的漢語提示完成句子1.TombSweepingDay，

(中國傳統(tǒng)節(jié)日之一)，usuallyfallsaroundApril5everyyeartohonorthedeadandsatisfytheirancestors.

2.

(伴隨著全球氣候變得越來越暖)，ourearthisfacedwithgreatthreat.

oneofthetraditionalChinesefestivalsWiththeglobalclimatebecomingwarmerandwarmer3.

(坐落在東北部)，Beijingiswellknownforitsculturalrelicswhichhavebeenthereforalonghistory.

4.Duringthisperiod，peoplewillgotocleanthegravesandpayrespecttotheirancestors，

(帶上食物和水果).

5.

(作為一名高中生)，it’severyone’sdutytodosomethingtosaveourhome.

SituatedinnortheastcarryingfoodandfruitBeingaseniorschoolstudent※列舉具體的事例進(jìn)行補(bǔ)充說明(1)我要花一些時(shí)間和父母在一起。I’llspendsometimestayingwithmyparents.→I’llspendsometimestayingwithmyparents，

chatting

with

them

and

doing

some

housework.(2)我想找一個(gè)像我一樣喜歡旅行的筆友。Iliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravellingjustlikeme.→Iliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravellingjustlikeme.If

possible，

we

can

travel

together

or

share

travelling.［跟蹤練習(xí)3］根據(jù)所給出的漢語提示完成句子1.TheInternetisplayingamoreandmoreimportantpartinourdailylife.

(我們不僅僅能閱讀國內(nèi)外的新聞)，butalsogetinformation，sendemailsandattendonlineschools.

2.LauraisastandardAmericanstyle._______________________________

(她說一口完美的美式英語)，andthat’swhyIamcrazyabouther.

NotonlycanwereadnewsfromhomeandabroadShespeaksperfectAmericanEnglish3.However，itseemspeopleareunawareofthenegativeeffectsofmobilephonesoncommunication.

(比如，很多人越來越不重視面對(duì)面的交流).4.However，everycoinhastwosides，sodoestheInternet.

(比如，沉溺于互聯(lián)網(wǎng)也許會(huì)影響我們的學(xué)習(xí)和工作).

Forexample，manypeoplebegintopaylessattentiontoface-to-facecommunicationForexample，beinglostintheInternetmayaffectourstudyandwork※增添神態(tài)、動(dòng)作、心理描寫以及背景渲染等細(xì)節(jié)(1)我有時(shí)去村子西邊的小河釣魚。Iwentfishingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.→Iwentfishingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.The

water

in

the

river

is

very

clear.(背景渲染)→Weather

permitting，Iwentfishingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.(相關(guān)背景)(2)我發(fā)現(xiàn)了一些不良行為。Ifoundsomebadbehaviour.→Ifoundsomebadbehaviour.Some

people

scribbled

on

the

wall；

some

played

soccer

on

the

lawn

and

some

people

threw

rubbish

everywhere.(相關(guān)行為描述)(3)晚飯后，這位男士走向了臥室。Aftersupper，themanwenttohisbedroom.→Afterarichmeal，thefatmanslowly

made

his

waytohisbedroom.(神態(tài)、動(dòng)作描寫)［跟蹤練習(xí)4］根據(jù)所給出的漢語提示完成句子1.

(考慮到這項(xiàng)活動(dòng)很有意義)，weintendtodesignauniformsuitedtoourownclass.

2.I’lltrymybesttomakeyourunclehappyhere.

(我熱切地期盼著他來我們城市參觀).

Consideringtheactivityisofgreatvalue/meaningfulIameagerlylookingforwardtohisvisittoourcity3.Manyteenagersdon’tpayanyattentiontotheirhealth，especiallyduringtheholiday.

(他們花費(fèi)太多的時(shí)間在看電視上)，playinggamesandchattingontheInternetallnight.

4.LookingbacktomystayinBritain，

(我感到非常高興和滿意).

5.Inthesummervacation，

(我渴望得到一份兼職工作).

TheyspendtoomuchtimewatchingTVIfeltveryhappyandsatisfiedIamlongingtoget/haveapart-timejob※結(jié)尾適當(dāng)發(fā)揮，寫出個(gè)人感受、評(píng)價(jià)、希望愿景、倡議等(1)AlthoughIwasverytiredthissummerholiday，

I

felt

very

happy

forwhatIdid.(個(gè)人感受)(2)I

thinksuchactivitiesarenecessaryandmeaningful.(評(píng)價(jià))(3)Inaword，ifshewouldliketolearnChinese，

I

hopeshewilldoitwell.(愿景)(4)Asastudent，

it’s

our

duty

toprotectourschoolenvironmentandmakeitclean.(倡議)［跟蹤練習(xí)5］根據(jù)所給出的漢語提示完成句子1.

(作為一名專業(yè)的籃球運(yùn)動(dòng)員)，hisperformanceinthisseasonisnotsatisfactory.

2.IthinkBeijing

(非常值得再次參觀).

3.Inmyview，

(不管互聯(lián)網(wǎng)多么吸引人)，itshouldn’tseparateusfromourlovedones.

AsaprofessionalbasketballplayeriswellworthasecondvisitnomatterhowattractivetheInternetis4.

(通過這個(gè)實(shí)驗(yàn)我們得出一個(gè)結(jié)論)：thetemperaturedoesn’tchangewheniceismeltingintowater.

5.Let’sdevelopgoodhabitsofsavingenergyinourdailylifeand

(盡力為我們的環(huán)境做出更多貢獻(xiàn)).

6.Therefore，weshouldspendtimewithourfamilies，

(享受我們?cè)谝黄鸬臅r(shí)光).

Wedrewaconclusionthroughtheexperimenttrytomakemorecontributionstoourenvironmentenjoyingthetimewhenwearetogether※妙用銜接、過渡

一篇好的文章讀起來是抑揚(yáng)頓挫、圓潤(rùn)通暢、朗朗上口的。即使詞匯再美、句式再高級(jí)，若缺乏有效的銜接與過渡，充其量也只能是一盤零亂的珍珠，雖光彩奪目卻不堪受用。有效地使用過渡成分將亮點(diǎn)語句串“珠”成篇，是成就滿分作文的最后一道“工序”。利用好“起”“承”“轉(zhuǎn)”“合”四方法，會(huì)讓文章讀起來自然流暢，彰顯考生深厚的寫作功底，折服閱卷老師挑剔的目光并為之“傾倒”而給高分。(1)表示時(shí)間順序的過渡性詞語atthebeginning/endof，intheend，afterwards，sincethen，meanwhile，immediately，afterthat，fromthenon，allofasudden，atpresent，afterawhile，atthesametime，inthepast…At

the

beginning

oftheterm，Ihadtroubleinlearningphysics.In

the

end，Imadegreatprogresswithpracticeandpersistence.(2)表示遞進(jìn)關(guān)系的過渡性詞語what’smore/moreover，inadditionto，furthermore，besides，tomakethingsworse，themostimportantofall，worstofall，especially，inparticular，apartfrom…Besides，Ihaveasenseofresponsibilityandrichexperienceinbeingavolunteer.Moreover，IlearnedChinesepaintingformorethantenyearsinmychildhood；therefore，Idoknowalotaboutthisgreatartform.(3)表示并列或轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的過渡性詞語however，while，despite，otherwise，onthecontrary，inspiteof，afterall，nevertheless，aswellas，neither…nor，notonly…butalso，either…or，not…but…DespitehavinglivedinChinaforalongtime，theydon’tknowhowtomaketea.(4)表示條件或讓步關(guān)系的過渡性詞語as(so)longas，onconditionthat，unless，incase(of)，evenif/though，as/though/althoughItwouldbesafertotakemoremoneywithyouin

case

ofemergency.Heagreedtospeaktoreporterson

condition

thathewasnotidentified.(5)表示因果關(guān)系的過渡性詞語because(of)，nowthat，thanksto，dueto，asaresult/consequence(of)，since，therefore/thusTheyarehopingforareturntonormalitynow

thatthewarisover.As

a

consequence

ofhishardwork，hewaseventuallyadmittedtoNanjingUniversity.(6)表示列舉事實(shí)或觀點(diǎn)過渡的詞語suchas，forexample/instance，take…forexample，thatistosay，asfollows，inotherwords，ontheonehand…ontheotherhand，foronething…foranother，personally，inmyopinion/view，asfarasI’mconcerned，asforme…As

for

me，itwasanhonortohavesuchaclosefriendlikeyou.InPride

and

Prejudice，someofthemainthingsthatJaneAustenwantstoteachpeopleareas

follows.(7)表示總結(jié)的過渡性詞語inshort，inbrief，inaword，tosumup，allinall，onthewhole，ingeneral/generallyspeaking，inconclusion…To

sum

up，Iwishyoucouldliveuptotheexpectationsofourschool.In

brief，doastheChinesedowheninChina.［跟蹤練習(xí)6］一、根據(jù)所給出的漢語提示完成句子1.總之，不管遇到什么樣的挑戰(zhàn)，我都會(huì)勇敢地?fù)肀磥怼?/p>

，nomatterwhatkindofchallengesIencounter，Iwillbravelyembracethefuture.

Inaword/Tosumup/Allinall2.一方面，我能通過做這樣的事賺些錢來幫助父母；另一方面，我能從中獲得一些經(jīng)驗(yàn)，這會(huì)對(duì)我將來的生活有益。

，Icanearnmoneybydoingittohelpmyparents.

，Icangainsomeexperiencefromit，whichwilldogoodtomyfuturelife.

3.結(jié)果，孩子們變得太依賴父母，以至于他們沒有獨(dú)立的思想和創(chuàng)造性的想法。

，childrenbecomesoreliantontheirparentsthattheyhavenoindependentthoughtorcreativeideas.

OntheonehandOntheotherhandAsa