1、編輯課件1書面表達書面表達評講探討評講探討編輯課件2書面表達如何寫？書面表達如何寫？五個步驟1、審題、審題文字信息文字信息圖畫信息圖畫信息題材、人稱、時態、要點題材、人稱、時態、要點2、以詞及點：用一兩個單詞或短語寫出每句、以詞及點：用一兩個單詞或短語寫出每句 話的細節要點。話的細節要點。3、聯詞成句：用聯詞成句的方法將上述要點、聯詞成句：用聯詞成句的方法將上述要點 的詞語擴展成句子。的詞語擴展成句子。4 、聯句成文：、聯句成文：注意：注意：主語和謂語主語和謂語背景（適當增加時間、地點條件等）背景（適當增加時間、地點條件等）邏輯關系邏輯關系開頭與結尾開頭與結尾語篇銜接語篇銜接5、檢查修改，規范

2、抄寫、檢查修改，規范抄寫編輯課件3黃岡市黃岡市2009年三月高三年級質量檢測書面表達：年三月高三年級質量檢測書面表達：第二節：短文寫作（共第二節：短文寫作（共1題，滿分題，滿分25分）分） 假如你是某公司的產品推銷員，請用英語介紹下面假如你是某公司的產品推銷員，請用英語介紹下面的產品：的產品： 1. 產品名稱：產品名稱：NOAH-DICT 2. 產地：產地： 中國深圳中國深圳 3. 廠家：廠家：Chengxin Company Ltd. 4. 產品特點：電子詞典，儲存百萬單詞和短語產品特點：電子詞典，儲存百萬單詞和短語,實實現中英互譯，仿真人發音，提供電子書籍下載功能。采現中英互譯，仿真人發音

3、，提供電子書籍下載功能。采用用20年的研究成果，由高級電腦科技控制，輕金屬制成，年的研究成果，由高級電腦科技控制，輕金屬制成，體小，易攜帶，易操作，價格合理。體小，易攜帶，易操作，價格合理。 注意：詞數注意：詞數100左右。左右。編輯課件4five steps for the writing practice: Step 1: examine the topicStyle:_ tense:_ person:_說明文說明文 （Introductory Writing ） presentthird編輯課件5Step 2: list the main points1. 產品名稱產品名稱 name N

4、OAH-DICT / the product whose name is NOAH-DICT產地產地 make/ produce in Shenzhen3. 電子詞典電子詞典 electronic dictionary / e-dictionary4. 儲存百萬單詞和詞匯儲存百萬單詞和詞匯 store millions of words and phrases with a capacity of millions of words and phrases 實現中英互譯實現中英互譯 perform a two-way translation仿真人發音仿真人發音 imitate / resemb

5、le a real persons pronunciation7. 提供電子書籍下載功能提供電子書籍下載功能 provide / have the function of downloading electronic books編輯課件6Step 2: list the main points采用采用20年的研究成果年的研究成果 adopt / apply the technical result accumulate by 20-year research由高級電腦科技控制由高級電腦科技控制 control by high / advanced technology 輕金屬制成輕金屬制成 b

6、e made of light metal 11. 體小體小 small in size / its volume is very small12. 易攜帶易攜帶 easy to carry / it is convenient to carry13. 易操作易操作 easy to operate14. 價格合理價格合理 price is reasonable / sell at an attractive price編輯課件7Step 3: make some sentences:產品名稱產品名稱 產地產地 電子詞典電子詞典 NOAH-DICT is an electronic dictio

7、nary made in Shenzhen.儲存百萬單詞和詞匯儲存百萬單詞和詞匯 The dictionary can store 1 million words and phrases.3. 實現中英互譯實現中英互譯 The dictionary can make a two-way translation between Chinese and English come true.4. 仿真人發音仿真人發音 5. 提供電子書籍下載功能提供電子書籍下載功能6. 采用采用20年的研究成果年的研究成果 It is the technical result of the companys 20-y

8、ear research. 7.由高級電腦科技控制由高級電腦科技控制 8. 輕金屬制成輕金屬制成 體小體小 易攜帶易攜帶 It is made of light metal and its volume is small, so it is convenient to carry.9.易操作易操作 價格合理價格合理 It is easy to operate and its price is reasonable.The dictionary can imitate a real persons pronunciation.It also provides the function of do

9、wnloading e-books.It is controlled by advanced computer technology.編輯課件8Step 4:Connect the sentences and make some appolishment.Step 5:Copy it out carefully and clearly.編輯課件9One possible version(參考范文參考范文) NOAH-DICT is a very powerful e-dictionary made in Shenzhen, China. It is the latest product of

10、Chengxin Company Ltd. with a large vocabulary of 1 million words and terms stored in it. So you can look up any word you meet in your Senior period. Whats more, the e-dictionary can perform a two-way translation between Chinese and English, which helps you study more efficiently. Additionally, it ca

11、n perfectly imitate a real persons pronunciation. It also provides the function of downloading e-books. NOAH-DICT is controlled by advanced computer technology, which is the technical result of the companys 20-year research. The body of the NOAH-DICT is made of light metal. Therefore it is small in

12、size and very convenient to carry. Besides, it is easy to operate. The price is reasonable. It is a wise choice for English learners. 編輯課件10第五檔（很好）：（第五檔（很好）：（21-25分）分）要點完整，表達清楚，無重大語法錯誤。要點完整，表達清楚，無重大語法錯誤。完全完成了試題規定的任務。完全完成了試題規定的任務。-覆蓋所有內容要點。覆蓋所有內容要點。-應用了較多的語法結構和詞匯。應用了較多的語法結構和詞匯。-語法結構或詞匯方面有些許錯誤，但為盡力使用較

13、復雜結構或詞匯所致；語法結構或詞匯方面有些許錯誤，但為盡力使用較復雜結構或詞匯所致； 具備較強的語言運用能力。具備較強的語言運用能力。-有效地使用了語句間的連接成分，使全文結構緊湊。有效地使用了語句間的連接成分，使全文結構緊湊。完全達到了預期的寫作目的。完全達到了預期的寫作目的。第四檔（好）：（第四檔（好）：（16-20分）分）表達基本清楚，缺少個別要點，有些語法錯誤。表達基本清楚，缺少個別要點，有些語法錯誤。完成了試題規定的任務。完成了試題規定的任務。-覆蓋主要內容。覆蓋主要內容。-應用的語法結構和詞匯能滿足任務的要求。應用的語法結構和詞匯能滿足任務的要求。-語法結構或詞匯方面應用基本準確，

14、些許錯誤主要是因為嘗試較復雜語語法結構或詞匯方面應用基本準確，些許錯誤主要是因為嘗試較復雜語 法結構或詞匯所致。法結構或詞匯所致。-應用簡單的語句間的連接成分，使全文結構緊湊。應用簡單的語句間的連接成分，使全文結構緊湊。達到了預期的寫作目的。達到了預期的寫作目的。第三檔（適當）：（第三檔（適當）：（11-15分）分）尚能表達，缺少多個要點，語法錯誤較多。尚能表達，缺少多個要點，語法錯誤較多。基本完成了試題規定的任務。基本完成了試題規定的任務。-基本覆蓋主要內容。基本覆蓋主要內容。-應用的語法結構或詞匯能基本滿足任務的要求。應用的語法結構或詞匯能基本滿足任務的要求。-有一些語法結構或詞匯方面的錯

15、誤，但不影響理解。有一些語法結構或詞匯方面的錯誤，但不影響理解。-應用簡單的語句間的連接成分，使全文內容連貫。應用簡單的語句間的連接成分，使全文內容連貫。整體而言，基本達到了預期的寫作目的。整體而言，基本達到了預期的寫作目的。高高 考考 短短 文文 寫寫 作作 評評 分分 標標 準準編輯課件11第四部分：書面表達（滿分第四部分：書面表達（滿分25分）分） 假設你是卜曼宜，你購假設你是卜曼宜，你購買了一部某外國公司生買了一部某外國公司生產的手機，因有質量問產的手機，因有質量問題，要求該公司更換。題，要求該公司更換。請根據下列要點，用英請根據下列要點，用英文寫一封電子郵件。文寫一封電子郵件。要點：

16、要點：問題：問題：手機不響鈴，不能發短手機不響鈴，不能發短信；該產品已售完，無信；該產品已售完，無法更換；型號新，無配法更換；型號新，無配件，無法維修。件，無法維修。2. 要求：公司應盡快予以要求：公司應盡快予以更換。更換。 注意：注意：1. 詞數為詞數為100左右；左右；2. 參考詞匯：配件參考詞匯：配件 spare part3. 電子郵件的開頭和結尾電子郵件的開頭和結尾已為你寫好（不計入你已為你寫好（不計入你所寫詞數）；所寫詞數）；4. 已給出的電子郵件的開已給出的電子郵件的開頭和結尾不得抄入答題頭和結尾不得抄入答題卡。卡。 When I bought it home, I found t

17、here were several problems about the quality of the mobile phone. There is no ring in the new mobile phone, besides, it can not be used to send short messages. When I want back to the local company, the manager told me this product has sold out and that I wasnt able to change it. Whats worse, this s

18、tyle mobile phone is a new product, there is no spare part and cant to be repaired. These problems worries me most. I hope your company would change it for me as soon as possible. 【分析】基本表達清楚；時態運用恰當；采用了些簡單連接手法；內容較連貫；準確性不夠。 中國式英語語態錯誤動詞用法錯誤單詞誤用15編輯課件12第四部分：書面表達（滿分第四部分：書面表達（滿分25分）分） 假設你是卜曼宜，你購買假設你是卜曼宜，你

19、購買了一部某外國公司生產了一部某外國公司生產的手機，因有質量問題，的手機，因有質量問題，要求該公司更換。請根要求該公司更換。請根據下列要點，用英文寫據下列要點，用英文寫一封電子郵件。一封電子郵件。要點：要點：問題：問題：手機不響鈴，不能發短手機不響鈴，不能發短信；該產品已售完，無信；該產品已售完，無法更換；型號新，無配法更換；型號新，無配件，無法維修。件，無法維修。2. 要求：公司應盡快予以更要求：公司應盡快予以更換。換。注意：注意：1. 詞數為詞數為100左右；左右；2. 參考詞匯：配件參考詞匯：配件 spare part3. 電子郵件的開頭和結尾已電子郵件的開頭和結尾已為你寫好（不計入你所

20、為你寫好（不計入你所寫詞數）；寫詞數）；4. 已給出的電子郵件的開頭已給出的電子郵件的開頭和結尾不得抄入答題卡。和結尾不得抄入答題卡。 However, some problems are presented with this mobile phone. In the first place, when there are phone calls, the mobile phone just cant ring. In addition, short messages can never be sent. when I came back to the mall for exchange,

21、I was disappointed to be told that this model had been sold out. Worse still, it is a new model, thus no spare part is available at the moment. Nowhere can I have this phone repaired. Maybe there are some alternatives to handle this case, but I hope it can be dealt with and solved as soon as possibl

22、e. In brief, my personal viewpoint is that you replace this mobile phone. Im looking forward to your reply.【分析】全文共九個句子,其中有兩個時間狀語從句,一個并列句;一個倒裝句;一個表語從句。運用了however,in the first place,in addition, worse still, in brief 五個過渡性詞匯。運用了available, alternative兩個較高級詞語。whenwhenbutNowhere canIis thatHoweverIn thef

23、irst place,Inaddition,WorsestillIn brief,availablealternatives25編輯課件13編輯課件14編輯課件1520編輯課件16學生作品學生作品 (6班班 王軍王軍) A new product named NOAH-DICT has been put on sale lately. It is a kind of electrical dictionary produced by Chengxin Company Ltd, which is located in Shenzhen China. The new product has man

24、y advantages, one of which is that the dictionary contains millions of words and phrases, and it can translate Chinese into English each other in a voice which resembles extremely real peoples voice. Whats more, more information and books can be downloaded if necessary. The product is researched by

25、twenty years efforts, and it is the high technology that controls the dictionary, which makes you get information more quickly. It is convienient for you to take because it is made of light metal and in small size. It not only can be operated easily but also the price is reasonable. I believe that t

26、he new product will be a good friend in your life.【高分的理由】【高分的理由】1. 各種句式及結構的合理運用各種句式及結構的合理運用過去分詞過去分詞作定語的作定語的運用運用定語從句定語從句的運用的運用強調句型，表語從句，形強調句型，表語從句，形式主語句型，賓語從句的式主語句型，賓語從句的運用運用【高分的理由】【高分的理由】2. 連接詞的適當運用連接詞的適當運用【高分的理由】【高分的理由】3. 要點全面，時態正確要點全面，時態正確編輯課件17學生作品學生作品 A new product named NOAH-DICT has been put o

27、n sale lately. It is a kind of electrical dictionary produced by Chengxin Company Ltd, which is located in Shenzhen China. The new product has many advantages, one of which is that the dictionary contains millions of words and phrases, and it can translate Chinese into English each other in a voice

28、which resembles extremely real peoples voice. Whats more, more information and books can be downloaded if necessary. The product is researched by twenty years efforts, and it is the high technology that controls the dictionary, which makes you get information more quickly. It is convienient for you

29、to take because it is made of light metal and in small size. It not only can be operated easily but also the price is reasonable. I believe that the new product will be a good friend in your life.electrical 應改為應改為 electronicconvienient 的正確書寫為的正確書寫為convenient【美中不足】【美中不足】部分表達欠準確部分表達欠準確編輯課件1814編輯課件19【分

30、數不理想的原因】【分數不理想的原因】1. 多處表達或用詞不準確多處表達或用詞不準確2. 基礎詞匯拼寫錯誤基礎詞匯拼寫錯誤3. 過渡銜接不自然過渡銜接不自然4. 文面不整潔文面不整潔編輯課件20學生作品佳句欣賞學生作品佳句欣賞 Our company has produced a new product named NOAH-DICT, which is made in Shenzhen, China. (18班吳勝莉班吳勝莉) Designed by Chengxin company Ltd, the electronic dictionary named NOAH-DICT was prod

31、uced in Shenzhen, China. ( 20班李瑞潔班李瑞潔) The new product is an electronic dictionary which can store millions of words as well as expressions. (6班肖紅班肖紅) This kind of electronic dictionary contains millions of words and expressions which are essential for both middle school students and college student

32、s. (18班江靜班江靜) Two decades of hard work with thousands of failures, our researchers make the breakthrough eventually, that is, the NOAH-DICT. (18班劉琬班劉琬) What deserves attention is that the product is the achievement of nearly 20 years research. (6班王超班王超)編輯課件21 It is more a small computer than a norma

33、l dictionary. (18班劉琬班劉琬) It has so many functions that it is almost as smart as a computer. (20班楊凱班楊凱) Downloading e-books is also available for you. (18班劉琬班劉琬) It provides the function of downloading the electronic books to broaden your horizons. (18班李辰班李辰) The volume of NOAH-DICT is small, thus it can be carried and operated easily. (6班劉小晶班劉小晶) Wherever you go you can carry it conveniently for its small size. (6班黃冬班黃冬) Whats the most important is that its price is very reasonable. (18班方新班方新)學生作品佳句欣賞學生作品佳句欣賞編輯課件22Common mistakes in our writing(Common mistakes in our writing(學生出現