來源：紹興一模續(xù)寫話題:人和動物友好相處，愛，善良文本分析I'mretiredandnotresponsibleformuchthesedays.Idon'thaveschoolagechildrenwhorequirehelpwiththeirhomework.IsleepinwhenIchoose,

doalittlewritingandrepairafewthingsaroundthehouse.Mywife'swork,ontheotherhand,is

neverending.（注意妻子工作的特點：永無止境的）Dianatakescareotherparentsintheirmidnineties,tendstohomeandgarden,volunteersforvariousmunityorganizations,andisagoldstargrandmother.Sheisalsoadedicatedcatlover,

andcatshavealwaysbeenherpetofchoice.（注意：在下文中妻子的喜歡發(fā)生了改變）Allthat

changed

whentwosmallblackandbrown

dogs

scamperedintoouryardand

meltedDiana'sheart.

Ithappenednotlongago.Thedogsappearedunannouncedandhadbeenseenbyhikersonnumerousoccasions,roamingthewoodsliketinylostsouls.Theywerehomelessdogs,

aswildasthewind.

Noonecouldgetwithin100yardsofthem.（突出兩只狗的也行與不好相處）

Intheirstruggleforsurvival,thetwohadfiguredoutawayto

avoidpeople（為下文寫Diana女里用愛來感化它們從而接近它們做鋪墊）andfindfoodandshelterinthewilderness.Theywereundeniablycuteandappealing.

Manyofourneighborstriedtoluretheminwithtreats,butthetinydogsremainedunapproachable.（此處寫鄰居的努力仍然得不到小狗的親近，為下文Diana的舉動做鋪墊）Mywifebeganleavingtastyfoodout,

slowlymovingthefoodbowlcloserwitheachfeeding.Asdayspassed,theyventuredcloserandcloser.

Dianamadeaconsciouseffortnottofrightenthem.

Shecalledthemtodinnerwithafortingvoice,

lettingthemknowtheyweresafe.Itwasimportantthattheytrustedher.

Why?Shewaslookingforsomethingtomother.

ForDiana,loveisthemedicinetoeverything,（突出Diana樂于分享愛的特點）andnothingtuggedatherheartstringsmorethanahungryandhomelessanimal.Diananamedthem“Emma”and“Daisy”andshecalledthedogsher“l(fā)ittlewolves.”Initially,

theywouldnotlethertouchthem.Asdaysturnedintoweeks,theirbondslowlygrew.

Soon,

Dianawaspettingthem.Next,theywereeatingfromherhand.Beforelong,

shehadthemsittinginherlapandfollowingheraroundtheyard.（時間順序?qū)懗鯠iana與小狗一步一步親近的過程）

Andpoof!Mywifewasinstantly

transformed

fromcatladytodoglady.（與上文中寫妻子喜歡貓呼應(yīng)，所以我們在續(xù)寫中要注意這一改變）前文主要內(nèi)容寫

Diana從小貓愛好者轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)樾」窅酆谜撸⑶矣脨鄹腥舅鼈兣c它們一步步親近。段首句解讀Paragraph1:Itwasn'tlongbeforethedogsweresleepinginthehouseandassumingtheirroleas"watchdogs”沒過多久，狗就睡在房子里，扮演起了“看門狗”的角色。由段首句可知，小狗已然成為我們家的一份子，所以這段要寫我們與狗相處的日常以及我對這兩只小狗的看法，我們怎樣對待它們。Paragraph2:TimeintheyardfeelslikeasecondchildhoodwithDaisyandEmmaplayingaboutourfeet.在院子里，黛西和艾瑪在我們的腳邊玩耍，感覺就像經(jīng)歷了第二次童年。在這一段我們要寫出小狗是怎樣玩耍的，我和

Diana是怎樣看它們的，其次還要注意貫穿全文的一個詞“change”，

Diana怎樣從貓貓愛好者轉(zhuǎn)為小狗愛好者也要在其中提到。本文主要特點本文的細(xì)節(jié)描寫，動作描寫較多，對人物的刻畫方面細(xì)膩，讓我們?nèi)菀椎豨et到

Diana的特點，我們在寫自己的續(xù)寫時也可借用本文的方法去豐滿人物形象。寫作中可能存在的問題很容易忽略的點change,我們一定要在續(xù)寫中點名change的存在。還要注意續(xù)寫中我個人的心理描寫對狗的看法，對妻子改變想法的看法。生詞積累roamv/n.漫步，閑逛undeniablyadv.不可否認(rèn)地，確鑿無疑地lurev.引誘，誘惑n.誘惑(物)，誘惑力;v.敢于去(未知或危險等地方);冒險;小心地說，謹(jǐn)慎地做;venturev.

謹(jǐn)慎地做;好詞積累比喻：aswildasthewind像風(fēng)一樣狂野夸張：Noonecouldgetwithin100yardsofthem.沒人能接近他們100碼之內(nèi)。細(xì)節(jié)描寫：tugone’sheartstring觸動某人的心弦下水文Itwasn'tlongbeforethedogsweresleepinginthehouseandassumingtheirroleas"

watchdogs”.

Gradually,theonceskittishdogstransitionedfromwaryhomelessdogstodevotedpanions,forminganunspokenbondwithDianathattranscendedtheirinitialfears.EmmaandDaisybegantoeagerlyrespondtoDiana'sgentlemands,relishingtheaffectionandsecuritysheprovided.Theonce"wild"dogshadfoundanewhomenotjustinouryardbutinourhearts,andDiana'sunwaveringmitmenttotheirwellbeingwasatestamenttoherpassionatespirit.TimeintheyardfeelslikeasecondchildhoodwithDaisyandEmmaplayingaboutourfeet.

Thedogs'playfulanticsandwaggingtailsbroughtanundeniablejoytoourhousehold.Theybecamefixturesinourlives,greetinguswithlivelytailwagsandendearingbarksthatechoedthroughthehalls.Diana,theepitomeofresilienceandcare,seamlesslyintegratedthedogsintoherroutine,findingimmensefulfillmentintheirsharedmomentsofwalksandgentleplay.Despiteherlifelongfondnessforfelinefriends,Diana'sheartexpandedtoacmodatethesenewfoundadditions.Theirtransformationwasatestamenttopatience,passion,andtheremarkablepoweroflove,illustratingthecapacityfortrusttoflourisheveninthemosttimidofcreatures.本次寫作思路回顧：首先閱讀文章，提取人物心路歷程，故事發(fā)展路線，再看題目提供的段首句，確定整體框架，寫作思路，最后完成寫作，過程中注意主要人物的轉(zhuǎn)變，從愛貓人士轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)橛脨鄹谢骼斯罚x取一些高級詞匯表達(dá)更優(yōu)。參考答案：Itwasn’tlongbeforethedogsweresleepinginthehouseandassumingtheirroleas“watchdogs”Theybecamefierceprotectorsofourhome,afortingpresence.Eachday,theywouldpolicethepropertywholeheartedlyandthenreturntothehouseexpectingasweettreatandagentlepatontheheadforajobwelldone.Theirloveanddevotionwereunquestioning.Theyquicklybecameintegratedintoourdailylives.Wheredidtheyefrom?ThatwasaquestionIneverstoppedaskingmyself.Maybeanunavoidabletragedybroughtthelittlewolvestous,ormaybetheyhadbeenadoptedbyamisguidedhuman.Whateveritwas,ourfurryfriendsaretheessenceofhappiness.Theydisplayabsolutejoyinsimplybeingalive.Theirwaggingtailsandcoldlittlenosesalwaysliftmyspirits.TimeintheyardfeelslikeasecondchildhoodwithDaisyandEmmaplayingaboutourfeet.Filledwithsomuchenergy,theyracearoundtheyard,barkingandchasingeachother,andthensprintbacktousfora