考向36讀后續寫之如何續寫故事開頭一個好的故事開頭就好比是一堂成功的課的導入，能夠迅速抓住學生和老師們的興趣，并且愿意聽下去，跟著授課老師的思路走。一個好的故事開頭就好比是一個帶著香味十足的誘餌，誘使讀者上鉤并且饒有趣味地看完。而一個拙劣的故事開頭，定會讓讀者大倒胃口，懨懨欲睡。可見，寫好一個好故事的好開頭是多么的重要。那么在時間緊迫的考場上的英語讀后續寫的過程中，如何寫出靚麗的開頭呢？我們可以從語法手段和寫作涉及的內容來具體涉及故事的開端。1.開端布局方法1：副詞突顯動作等

【典例賞析】Carefully,

hesteppedoverallthebrokenglass.

Joyfully

heskippedupthestreet.

【真題再現】Para1：

(2016.10浙江高考讀后續寫范文摘錄)Para1：Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.

Immediately,anabsolutedarknessruledtheforest.

（時間副詞銜接+環境描寫）

2.開端布局方法2：形容詞短語表明心態【典例賞析】Curioustoknowwhatwasinside,hetiptoedintothedarkcave.

Unabletosayaword,hewasrootedtothespot.

【真題再現】

(2016.10浙江高考讀后續寫范文摘錄)Para1:

Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.

Desperateandhopeless,

Jane

kneltdown,tearsstreamingdownherface.

（并列情緒形容詞）

(2016.10浙江高考讀后續寫范文摘錄)Para2:

ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.

Weakasshewas,shestruggledtoherfeet,continuingsearchingfor

assistance.

（狀態形容詞+as/though引導的倒裝句）

(2018.06浙江高考讀后續寫范文摘錄)Para1:

Suddenlyalittlerabbitjumpedoutinfrontofmyhorse.

AfraidthatImighthurtthelovelysmallcreature,Iautomaticallyletoutacrytostopmyhorse.

(情緒形容詞+從句)

(2018.06浙江高考讀后續寫范文摘錄)Para2:Wehadnoideawherewewereanditgotdark.

Exhaustedandhungry,Iwonderedifwecouldfindourwayback.

3.開端布局方法3：非謂語動詞的烘托【典例賞析】Looking

aroundhimcautiously,heslippedintotheroomandsoftlyclosedthedoor.

Exhausted,hewasgladtheracewasfinallyover.

【真題再現】(2016.10浙江高考讀后續寫范文摘錄)Para1:Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.

Feelingdisappointed,

Jane

hadtostayaloneforanothernight.

（現在分詞+情緒形容詞）

(2016.10浙江高考讀后續寫范文摘錄)Para2:

ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.

Feelingrefreshed,

shecontinuedtowalkalongthe

stream

tofindthewayout.（現在分詞+狀態形容詞）4.開端布局方法4：使用從句【典例賞析】Ashewalked,hewhistled

Althoughhewasafraid,hejumpedrightin.

5.開端布局方法5：使用介詞短語【典例賞析】Attheendofthelane

hesuddenlystopped.

Atthesightofthesnake,thelittlegirlscreamedatthetopofhervoice.

6.開端布局方法6：對話或獨白【典例賞析】“Let’sseewhogetstherefirst!”

Rachelshouted,asshepedaledfastandzoomedpastJenny.

“Holdontight!”

Myfatheryelled.Wejustfinishedbuckinginasthecoasterjerkedintomotion.Thiswasmyfirstrollercoasterride.

【真題再現】(2017.06浙江高考讀后續寫范文摘錄)Para1:

Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.

"Getintothecar."

PaulshoutedatMac.

7.開端布局方法7：介紹人物身份【典例賞析】Markisastudiousboywholovesreading.HisclassmatesoftenteasehimforbeingtoohardworkingandtheycallhimMr.Smart.Oneafternoon,whilestudyingathome…

8.開端布局方法8：情緒烘托【典例賞析】ThemomentshesawhowshedidforherSciencetest,

tearsstartedwellingupinTina’seyesandfallingdownhercheeks.9.開端布局方法9：背景烘托【典例賞析】I

closedmyeyestoenjoythegentlebreezeandthesoundsoftheclashingwaves.

Gentlyopeningmyeyes,Isawmyparentstaking

arelaxingstrollalongthebeach.Thecavewasdarkandeverythingwassilent.Icouldn’tevenseemyhandinfrontofmyface.

IknewthisadventurewasgoingtobesomethingthatIwouldneverforget.【真題再現】(2017.11浙江高考讀后續寫范文摘錄)Para2:

Wedrovethroughseveralstatesandsawlotsofgreatsightsalongtheway.

Ilookedoutofthecarwindow,windingrivers,loftymountains,sunnybeachesanddeepvalleysholdingmeentirelyintheirfascination.

（視覺+環境描寫+擬人）10.開端布局方法10：人物動作特寫【典例賞析】Furry

startedwagginghistailandrunningaroundincircles

whenhesawhismastertakingaleashoutfromthedrawer.Furrywasallreadyforhiseveningwalk.【真題再現】(2017.11浙江高考讀后續寫范文摘錄)Para1:

Thenextdaywerememberedthebrand-newtentwehadbroughtwithus.

Dad

exchangedaglancewithme.Whynotcamptosatisfy

Mom?

（動作描寫+問句銜接）11.開端布局方法11：聲音效果傳情【典例賞析】BOOM,CRASH!

Thewindwashowlingoutsideofmyhouse.Wewerehavingaterriblethunderstorm.Iwasveryscared.12.開端布局方法12：設問激發思考【典例賞析】Haveyoueverbeenonaself-drivingtrip?

Letmetellyouanexcitingtripmyfamilytookthissummer.Whydoestroublealwaysfollowmearound?DoIhavea"kickme"signonmybackorsomething?fascination.

（視覺+環境描寫+擬人）

【檢測訓練】1.閱讀下面短文，根據所給情節進行續寫，使之構成一個完整的故事。Boysliketobeconsideredtobebrave,butwhatkindofthingscanbeconsideredtobebrave?Itisnotaquestionthatcanbeansweredbywords,butbytheactualdeed.AboywiththenameHenrygaveusagoodexample.RonnyandHenryweretwofriendsinthesameclass.Theyalwaysplayedtogetherandwenthometogether.OnedayasRonnyandHenryweregoinghomeafterschool,theysawsomepeoplefightinginthestreetcorner.Ronnysaidexcitedly,“Somepeoplearefighting!Let’sgoandhavealook!”ButHenryrefused,“It’snoneofourbusiness.We’dbettergohomeanddon’tgetclosetothem.AlsoourparentsareexpectingtohavedinnerwithustogetherathomeandIdon’twantthemtoworryaboutme.”“Youareacoward,andafraidtogo,”saidRonny,andoffherantothespotwithsomeotherboys.Henryhadtogohomealoneanddidn'tthinkaboutitanymore.ButRonnythoughtHenrywasacowardandtoldalltheboysthat.Theylaughedathimagreatdeal.Fromthenon,theylookeddownuponHenryanddidn’twanttoplaywithhim.Henrywassadbuthewasn’tangrywithRonnyforhisrudebehavior,becausehehadlearnedthattruecouragewasshownmostinbearingmisunderstandingwhenitwasnotdeserved,andthatheoughttobeafraidofnothingbutdoingwrong.Thus,hejustignoredtheotherboys’laughterandcontinuedtosticktohisthoughtandgotoschoolandstudyaswell.However,Ronnydidn’tinviteHenrytogohomewithhimanymore.Instead,hehadhisnewfriendswhoalsothoughtHenrywasacoward.Everydayafterschool,theydidn'tgohomedirectlybutwenttotheriverorsomewheretoplaygamesandhadlotsoffun.注意：1.所續寫的短文詞數應為150左右；2.續寫部分分為二段，每段的開頭語已經為你寫好；Paragraph1:Afewdayslater,somethingterriblehappenedtoRonny.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Atthatmoment,Henryhappenedtopassby.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【參考范文】Afewdayslater,somethingterriblehappenedtoRonny.Thatafternoonafterschool,Ronnywasbathingwithsomeofhisnewfriendsintheriverhappily.Suddenly,hewasstuckinthemudandcouldn’tgetout.Hestruggledhardbuthewasstilltrapped.Hescreamedforhelp,butallinvain.TheboyswhohadcalledHenryacowardgotoutofthewaterasfastastheycould.Theyweresoscaredanddidnoteventrytohelphim.Atthatmoment,Henryhappenedtopassby.Heheardthescreamsandrantotheriverassoonaspossible.SeeingRonnywasalmostdrowned,Henrytookoffhisclothesimmediatelyandjumpedintothewaterwithoutanyhesitation.HereachedRonnyjustashewassinkingthelasttime.Withgreateffort,andwithmuchdangertohimself,hebroughtRonnytotheshoreintime.Henrywashappytohelphisfriend,thoughhewasextremelytired.【寫作分析】這是一篇記敘文。文章中的男孩亨利因為沒有和朋友羅尼一起去湊熱鬧看別人打架，而被羅尼叫做懦夫并且受到了排擠，但亨利知道真正的勇氣體現在容忍不該容忍的誤解，羅尼的新朋友們也都覺得亨利是個懦夫。幾天后，羅尼和新朋友們在河里洗澡時，不小心陷在泥里，他的新朋友們沒有幫助他，而亨利在路過時聽到了求救聲后用盡他的力氣幫助了羅尼。【寫作步驟】1.段落續寫：①由第一段首句內容“幾天后，在羅尼身上發生了可怕的事情”可知，第一段可描寫羅尼遇到的可怕事情，同時承接上文中羅尼交往了一些新朋友的劇情，描寫羅尼的新朋友在他遇到可怕事情時候的反應，如新朋友們看到羅尼陷入困境時一個個都趕緊離開。

②由第二段首句內容“就在那時，亨利碰巧經過。”可知，第二段可描寫亨利在看到羅尼遭到不好事情時的反應。前文提到羅尼嘲笑亨利是個懦夫，但在這一段可描寫亨利的勇敢救人的行為，以形成情節上的轉折。2.續寫線索：羅尼陷入困境——朋友逃離現場——亨利及時出手相助——幫助羅尼非常高興3.詞匯激活

行為類

①困住；陷入：bestuckin/betrappedin/getstuck②盡快：assoonaspossible/asquicklyaspossible/atthefirstopportunity③掙扎；奮斗；努力：struggle/strive/conflict情緒類

①開心地：happily/withpleasure②徒然；無效：invain/fornothing/ofnoeffect③非常；極其；極端地：extremely/badly/highly/greatly【寫作亮點】[高分句型1]TheboyswhohadcalledHenryacowardgotoutofthewaterasfastastheycould.（who引導的定語從句）[高分句型2]SeeingRonnywasalmostdrowned,Henrytookoffhisclothesimmediatelyandjumpedintothewaterwithoutanyhesitation.（現在分詞作狀語）2.閱讀下面短文，根據所給情節進行續寫，使之構成一個完整的故事。Itookajobasareceptionistforaveterinarianweeksago.Asanenthusiasticanimallover,IacceptedthepositionontheconditionthatIwouldn’thavetoassistwithanywoundedanimals.Icouldn’tbeartoseeanycreatureinpain.Attheendofmyfirstweek,wewereabouttoclosetheofficeforthedaywhenayoungmaninhisthirtiesranuptousholdingaseverelyinjuredDobermanpinscherpuppyinhisarmsandbeggingustosavehislife.Thefour-month-oldpuphadbeenhitbyacar.ThedoctorandIrushedbackintotheoperatingroomimmediately.Thepoorcreaturewasincriticalcondition.Theonlyplacetheskinwasstillattachedtothispoorlittleanimal’sbodywasaroundoneshoulder.Thevetworkedtirelesslyforwhatseemedlikehours,stitchinghimbacktogetheragain.Thatwastheeasypart.Thepuppyhadbrokenmultiplebones,includinghisspine.Ifhewasluckyenoughtosurvivethenextfewdays,wewerequitesurehewouldneverwalkagain.Thedayforeverchangedmylife.Theveterinarianinstructedme,andIbecamehisassistantinallthingsmedical.OneofmyfirstjobswastogivethatDobermanpuppydailyphysicaltherapy.Imovedhistinylegsonaregularbasistokeephismusclesfromweakening.Weekswentbyuntiloneday,Ifeltthislittlefighterpushbackeversoslightly.Andhecontinuedtopushbacktillhecouldfinallyusehislegs.Whatamiracle!Daybyday,thelittlefightermadealittlebitprogressuntilthevetcalledhisownertellinghimthathispuppywasreadytogohome.Havingaccompaniedthepuppyforseveralmonths,Icouldimaginehowexcitedandrelievedtheyoungmanwas.AndIwassurehewouldtookgoodcareof.Twodayslater,thepuppywastakenawaybyhisowner.1.所續寫的短文詞數應為150左右；2.續寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。Paragraph1:Aboutayearpassed,Iwalkedintotheclinic’scrowdedwaitingroom.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Iwentontobeavettechfor14years,andsinceretirement,I’vevolunteeredatano-killanimalshelter.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【參考范文】Paragraph1:Aboutayearpassed,Iwalkedintotheclinic’scrowdedwaitingroom.Icalledthenameofthenextclient.Suddenly,ahugeDobermanwhohadbeenstandingquietlywithhisownerontheoppositesideoftheroombrokelooseandrushedtowardme.Ifoundmyselfpinnedagainstthewallwiththismagnificentdogstandingonhishindlegs,hisfrontpawsonmyshoulders,washingmyfacewithabundantandjoyfulkisses!Paragraph2:Iwentontobeavettechfor14years,andsinceretirement,I’vevolunteeredatano-killanimalshelter.Beingavettechnicianandvolunteeratano-killanimalshelter,Isucceededinsavingmoreanimals,whichoftenmademethinkofthegratefulhugeDoberman.Althoughmanyyearshavepassed,Istillshedtearsinamazementatthedisplayofloveandgratitudethedoghadforme.Allthedogsknewtheyhadbeenrescuedbymeandtheyweregratefultome.【寫作分析】本文以人物為線索展開，講述了作者在一家獸醫那里找了一份前臺接待員的工作，在作者工作的第一個星期結束的時候，診所里來了一只受重傷的杜賓犬小狗，作者成為了獸醫的助手，照顧好了小狗。一年后杜賓犬再次來到診所，熱情地親吻作者，作者退休后仍然在一家不獵殺動物的收容所做志愿者，仍然為這只狗對自己的愛和感激而流淚。【寫作步驟】1.段落續寫：①由第一段首句內容“大約一年過去了，我走進診所擁擠的候診室。”可知，第一段可描寫被作者救治過的杜賓犬再次回到診所的事情。②由第二段首句內容“我做了14年的獸醫技師，退休后，我在一家不獵殺動物的收容所做志愿者。”可知，第二段可描寫作者成為志愿者后的所作所為以及感悟2.續寫線索：作者走進候診室——杜賓犬向作者表示感激——作者退休成為志愿者——作者感悟3.詞匯激活行為類走進：walkinto/stepinto繼續：goon/continueto時間逝去：pass/goby情緒類感謝：gratitude/begrateful/appreciation快樂：joyful/happy【寫作亮點】[高分句型1]Suddenly,ahugeDobermanwhohadbeenstandingquietlywithhisownerontheoppositesideoftheroombrokelooseandrushedtowardme.(運用了who引導定語從句)[高分句型2]Beingavettechnicianandvolunteeratano-killanimalshelter,Isucceededinsavingmoreanimals,whichoftenmademethinkofthegratefulhugeDoberman.(運用了which引導非限制性定語從句)3.閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。Myschoolhadatraditionduringtheninth-gradegraduation:abeautifulgoldandgreenjacket(theschoolcolors),wasawardedtothestudentwhohadmaintainedthehighestgradesfornineyears.IhadbeenastraightAstudentsincethefirstgradeandhadlookedforwardsverymuchtoowningthatjacket.Myfatherwasafarmlaborerwhocouldn'tearnenoughmoneytofeedfivechildren.Iwasgiventomygrandparentstoraise.Therewouldneverbeaschoolsportsjacketforus.Thisscholarshipjacketwasmyonlychance.OnedayinMay,Ihappenedtooverhearintheoffice.Mr.Schmidt,myhistoryteacher,andMr.Boone,mymathteacherarguingaboutme.“Irefusetodoit!Idon'tcarewhoherfatheris；hergradescan'tmatchMartha'satall.Iwon'tlieorfalsify(偽造)records.”saidMr.Schmidtangrily.ButMr.Boone'svoicesoundedcalm.“Joann'sfatherisnotonlyontheBoard(董事會),heownstheonlystoreintown:wecouldsayitwasaclosetieand…”Shakingandsad,I,waitedafewminutesandwalkedaway.Thenextdaywhentheprincipalcalledmeintohisoffice.“Martha,”hesaid,“There'sbeenachangeinpolicythisyearregardingthescholarshipjacket.ThisyeartheBoardhasdecidedtochargefifteendollars,whichstillwon'tcoverthecompletecostofthejacket.Soifyouareunabletopaythemoneyforthejacket,itwillbegiventothenextoneinline.”StandingwithallthedignityIcouldfind,Isaid，“I'llspeaktomygrandfatheraboutit,sir,andletyouknowtomorrow.”Icriedonthewayhome.注意：1.續寫詞數應為150左右；2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Paragraph1:BythetimeIgothome,myeyeswereredandswollen.Ifoundmygrandpainthebeanfield.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Idraggedintotheprincipal’sofficethenextday,sadanddisappointed.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【參考范文】Paragraph1：BythetimeIgothome,myeyeswereredandswollen.Ifoundmygrandpainthebeanfield.

Sensingsomethingwrong,heaskedmewhathappenedwithgreatconcern.

Imurmuredtheprincipal’swords,asurgeofregretgnawingatmyheart.Ireallyhatedtoseemygray-hairedGrandpa’sdisappointment.Grandpa’seyesroundedindisbelief.

Timetickingby,heheavedalongsigh,“Mychild,anawardboughtcan’tbecalledanaward.”

Inoddedunderstandingly.ButwhoknewhowreluctantandbitterIwas?Paragraph2：Idraggedintotheprincipal’sofficethenextday,sadanddisappointed.

Myheadstillliftedwithdignity,Itriedtofightbackthetears,stammering,“Icannot…affordthejacket,sir.”

Staringintomyeyes,theprincipalsuddenlygrinned,“Ihavegoodnewsforyou.”Ilookedathiminconfusion.“Theboarddecidedthatanawardcannotbeboughtjustforthesakeofwinners’dignity.”Hiseyesbrimmedwithsmiles.IpinchedmyhandonlytofindIwasnotdreaming.OnlyatthatmomentdidIbelievethatMr.Schmidtandmygrandpawereright:nevercanawardsbefalsifiedorbought.(162words)【寫作分析】本文以人物為線索展開，講述了作者的學校在九年級的畢業典禮上會獎勵一件漂亮的金綠色的夾克給9年來成績最好的學生，作者一直是優等生，渴望得到那件夾克，但是偶然聽到Mr.Schmidt老師和校長爭論夾克到底給她還是Joann。后來祖父告訴作者買來的獎不能叫獎。校長最后也把夾克獎給了作者。【寫作步驟】1.段落續寫：①.由第一段首句內容“當我回到家時，我的眼睛又紅又腫。我在豆地里找到了祖父。”可知，第一段可描寫作者告訴了祖父發生的一切，祖父告訴作者買來的獎不能叫獎。②.由第二段首句內容“第二天，我拖著沉重的腳步走進校長辦公室，既傷心又失望。”可知，第二段可描寫作者傷心地告訴校長自己買不起夾克，但是校長最后還是把夾克獎給了作者。2.續寫線索：找到祖父——告訴發生的事——作者心理情緒——祖父嘆息感慨——走到校長辦公室——告訴校長買不起——校長更改主意——作者得到夾克3.詞匯激活行為類①.低聲說：murmur/sayinalowvoice/mutter②.看著：stareinto/lookat/watch情緒類①.難以置信：indisbelief/incredibly/unbelievably②.失望：disappointment/despair/frustration【寫作亮點】[高分句型1].Sensingsomethingwrong,heaskedmewhathappenedwithgreatconcern.（運用了現在分詞作狀語）[高分句型2].IpinchedmyhandonlytofindIwasnotdreaming.（運用了省略引導詞that的賓語從句作find的賓語）[高分句型3].OnlyatthatmomentdidIbelievethatMr.Schmidtandmygrandpawereright:nevercanawardsbefalsifiedorbought.（運用了部分倒裝句和由that引導的賓語從句作believe的賓語）4.閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。Inourkitchen,therewasawoodentableandthreechairs—oneforDad,oneforMom,andoneforme.Inthecellar(地窖),theverylastjarofapplejamlayquietlyontheshelf,waitingtobeturnedintoanapplepiewhenDadcameback.Momsatatoneendofthetable.IsatinthemiddlebetweenherandDad.ItriednottolookatDad’semptyplace.Dadhadgonetothecitytolookforworkforalongtime.Everynight,Ilayawakeinbedandwaitedforthetraintostop.Waitedtohearthecreaky(嘎吱作響的)gateDad’sgoingtofixwhenhecamehome.Waitedtohearthesoundofhisworkbootsdroppingonthestepbythekitchendoor,andhisvoicecalling,“I’mhome!”Everynight,asIlaythere,IstaredatthewindowandthecurtainsMommadefromemptyfloursacks(麻布袋).Everynight,Momcametokissmegood-night—afterthetrain’sgoneby.Shehadbeenlistening,too.“Gotosleep.Yourdadwillbehomesoon.MaybeforThanksgiving.”Timedraggingby,itfinallycamethedaybeforeThanksgiving.Iwenttosleepwiththesoundoftrainwheelsinmyhead,whispering,“Maybetomorrow,maybetomorrow.”Earlythenextmorning,thesmellofcoffeewokeme.Iranintothekitchen.Therehewas!Dadliftedmeontohisshouldersandpretendedtostaggerfrommyweight.“How’smyboy?You’vegottensobigthatIcanbarelyliftyouupanymore.”Heputmedown,andIstaredatthetwosacksonthetable.OnesaidFLOUR—Iknewthatword.Itriedreadingtheother:S-U-G-A-R.Dadwhistledadmiringlyandwinkedatme.MomandIhadbeenpracticingmylettersmostdays.IcouldseethatMomwaspleasedwithme.“I’mgoingtobakeapieforyourdad’shomecomingdinner.Jimmy,bringmethatjarofapplejamfromtheshelfinthecellar.”Momsmiledatme.注意:1.續寫詞數應為150左右:2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Hearingthis,Itookthestepstwoatatimetothecellar.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________“Nevermind,boy,accidentshappen,”Dadsaidandwipedmytears.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【參考范文】Possibleversion1:Hearingthis,Itookthestepstwoatatimetothecellar.ThenextsecondIwasinfrontoftheshelf.Istoodontiptoeandtookdownthejarcarefully.IcouldhearDadandMomlaughingupstairsandMom’shandsslappingthedough.Wantingtojointhem,Ihurriedupthesteps,andmyfootcaughtonthemiddleone.Iputoutmyhandtosteadymyself,butItumbleddown.Thejarslippedthroughmyfingersandsmashedonthefloor.Thejamwe’dbeensavingandsavingfleweverywhere.Wrong-footed,IburstintotearsandheardDad’sfootstepscloserandcloser.“Nevermind,boy,accidentshappen,”Dadsaidandwipedmytears.ThesewordsseemedtohavemagicandgraduallyIsettleddown.Throughtheshirt,IcouldsmellthedustofthetrainandthecityaswellasthatofDad’s.HowIwishedIhadn’thurried.“NexttimeIwillbemorecareful,”Ithoughttomyself.Havingswiftlydealtwiththemess,DadliftedmeontohisshoulderandwentbacktoMom.“Nowoutofthekitchen,youtwo,”Momsaid,“I'mgoingtobakemymama’ssugarpie,withoutapplejam!”IfollowedDadoutandhelpedhimfixthatoldcreakinggateuntilMacalledusinforThanksgivingdinner.Possibleversion2:Hearingthis,Itookthestepstwoatatimetothecellar.“Noproblem.”Ijumpedattherequestandrusheddownstairs.Thejarjuststoodquietlyontheshelf,butitseemedabithigh.Iclimbedupthechairnearbyandextendedmyarmsaslongaspossible.WhenIjustgraspedthejar,Ilostmybalanceandfelldown.Icouldn’thelpcrying.Whatmademesadwasnotthepainbutthejam—nowscatteredeverywhere.TherecameDad’sfootstepsandMom’svoice,“Areyouhurt?”Ishookmyheadslightly.Shehelpedmeupandaskedmetogoupstairs.Withheavyfootsteps,Imovedslowlyandtearswelledupinmyeyes.“Nevermind,boy,accidentshappen,”Dadsaidandwipedmytears.“ButIruinedyourhomecomingdinner.”SorrowoverwhelmedmeandIkeptsobbing.“No,myson,”Dadsmiledgently,“Myhomecomingdinnerisnotaboutpies,butaboutyouandMom.”Hearingthis,Istoppedsobbing,“Butwhatcanweeattonight?”“Howaboutanapplepiewithoutapplejam?”Momcameupstairsandcutin.DadandIexchangedaglanceandnodded.Afterawhile,Ifoundmyselfsittinginthechair,butthistime,IsatinthemiddlebetweenDadandMom.(Wecangowithoutapplejam.Whynotmakeapiewithapplejam?)(…butthistime,IsatwithDadontheleftandMomontheright.)Possibleversion3:Hearingthis,Itookthestepstwoatatimetothecellar.“Yes!Madam.”Isaluted,actingasifIwereasolider.Irandownstairsasfastasmylegscouldcarryme.Afterawhile,Ijumpedupstairswiththejarinbothhands,hummingajoyfultune.ButafterIhandedthejartoMom,thingswentcrazy.Momwasbusyslappingthedoughandaskedmetopassherthesugar.Insteadofscoopingabowlofit,Iheldthesackup.Justatthatverymoment,thesugarsackslippedawayandallthesugarendeduponthemudfloor.RealizingIspoiledDad’shomecomingdinner,Iburstintotears.“Nevermind,boy,accidentshappen,”Dadsaidandwipedmytears.“Imeanttohelp,”Iwhimpered,“but...Ishouldhavescoopedsomeofit...”Dadsquatteddownandbrushedthehairoutofmyeyes.“Nexttimeitwilljustbefine.”IlookedintoDad’seyesandnodded.DadliftedmeontohisshoulderandturnedtoMom,“Dear,canwemakeasugar-freeapplepie?”Mom,whohadbeenwatchinguslovingly,replied“Ofcourse!”andbegantoworkonit.OnthatThanksgivingevening,besidethewoodentablesatthreeofus,ImyselfbetweenMomandDad.Thoughsugar-free,theapplepietastedsweeterthaneverbefore.【寫作分析】本篇書面表達是讀后續寫。所給文章為記敘文，以蘋果醬和蘋果派為線索。作者家的廚房中有一張木桌和三把椅子，分別是爸爸的媽媽的和作者的。爸爸出門務工，每當地窖中的最后一瓶蘋果醬被放到桌上，等待被做成蘋果派的時候，就是爸爸回家的時候。作者和媽媽每個晚上都在等爸爸回家。感恩節的時候爸爸終于回家了，媽媽要給爸爸做蘋果派，并讓作者去把地窖的蘋果醬拿出來。【寫作步驟】1.段落續寫第一段首句內容為“聽到這話，我一兩步走到地窖”。可知，第一段可描寫作者聽了母親話后去地窖拿蘋果醬的經歷。第二點首句內容為“沒關系，孩子，意外總會發生的，”爸爸說著擦干了我的眼淚。可知，第二段可能描寫作者在拿蘋果醬時發生了意外后，爸爸媽媽給作者的安慰。2.續寫線索：急匆匆拿果醬——摔了一跤——爸爸安慰——媽媽接著做水果派3.詞匯激活：行為類：①形容加快步伐/步伐很快：takethestepstwoatatime/hurryupthesteps②突然…起來：burstintotears/burstintolaughter情感類平靜下來：settledown/calmdown【寫作亮點】[高分句型1]HowIwishedIhadn’thurried.（用虛擬語氣表達后悔，惋惜的情緒）[高分句型2]Havingswiftlydealtwiththemess,DadliftedmeontohisshoulderandwentbacktoMom.（分詞短語作狀語，可模仿性高）[高分句型3]IfollowedDadoutandhelpedhimfixthatoldcreakinggateuntilMacalledusinforThanksgivingdinner.（until引導的時間狀語從句）5.閱讀下面材料,根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段,使之構成一篇完整的短文。ItwasanArtlesson.Rachelsatatthedeskwatchingherclassmatesbusypreparingthewaterjarsandpaints.SheunderstoodwhyMrs.WestonaskedhertositdownandgotLisatofetcheverythingforher.ItwasalwaysadisasterwhenRacheltriedtodoArt!Rachelsighedandreachedouttodipherbrushinsomeblackpaintand—oh,no!Sheknockedoverthejar.Thewaterspreadacrossthedeskanddrownedthepaper.LisacalledMrs.WestontoseewhatRachelhaddone.Rachelwentredintheface.Shejumpedtoherfeettogetacloth.Herchairfelloverbackwards.SheturnedroundandherpaintbrushcaughtLisaacrosstheface,givingherablackmoustache.Lisawassosurprisedthatshefellbackagainstawirebookstand.Itcamecrashingdownandthebookswentalloverthefloor.Howclumsy(笨拙的)!Rachelthoughtasshewenthomeonthebus.Thebusstoppedoutsideherhouse.Shejumpedupandherelbow(肘部)knockedawoman’shatrightoverhereyes.Oh,no!Rachelsaidsorry,gotoffandranindoors.Mumwasn’tintheki