2024-4臺州市二模英語考試problem---solution+結(jié)合《課程標(biāo)準(zhǔn)》闡述“三處銜接一處結(jié)尾”飯店兼職菜鳥的一次難忘經(jīng)歷Istoodintherestaurantkitchen,myeyeswide,armshangingawkwardly,readytoworkbutunsureofwhattodo.“Youwillbetrainedfirst,”mymanagerAaronsaid,“anddoremembertocheckeverydetail!”Withthesewords,hewalkedaway.Aworkmatethrewmeadishbrushandsaid,“Let‘sgetstarted.”Heintroducedmetothebasicsofwashingdishesanddemonstratedtheprocess.Thiswasthebeginningofmypart-timejob，anewstagewhereIwasbotheagertolearnandanxiousaboutthechallengesahead.OnaFridaynight,Aaronswiftlyenteredthekitchen.“Whohasjustbused(收拾)thebackrighttable”heshouted,hisvoicesharpwithurgency.Myhands,slipperywithbubblesfromthebowlIwaswashing,nearlyletitslipthroughmyfingers.IwantedtosayIwasguilty,butAaron'scoldstaredidn'tpromiseahappyrewardfortheguywhoadmitted.Finally,amixoffearandmyownconsciencepushedtheresponseoutofmymouth.“Idid,Aaron.”“WhatwereyouthinkingGetbackouthereandlookatwhatyoumissed!”Hiswordsforcedmeforward.Igrabbedarag(抹布)andfollowedhimouttotabletwenty-two.Aswemadeourwaythroughtherestaurant,hesaidsomethingaboutrags,butIdidn'thearclearlywithotherconversationsgoingonaroundus.Iquicklyrealizedthetrueissuewasthemessbeneaththetable.Anearlyfullcupofbeerhadtippedover,creatingasmalllakeonthefloor.Itwasasignificantmistakeonmypart.“Takecareofit!”Aaronturnedandstormedofftothefrontoftherestaurant.Idroppeddowntocleanupthebeer.Thatwaswhenanotherproblemoccurred.Ihadbroughtonlyonerag.Onealreadywetrag.Itdidnothingbutincreasethesizeofthelake.“Morerags,”Ithought.Immediately,Irushedintothekitchenandhurriedlygrabbedfivedryrags,hopingAaronwouldn'tnoticemybriefabsence.

Readformainideas《高中英語課程標(biāo)準(zhǔn)》中，對普通高中英語課程語言技能要求提出的目標(biāo)：1.通過閱讀能從語篇中提取主要信息和主要觀點(diǎn)；2.能夠理解語篇的要義。Istoodintherestaurantkitchen,myeyeswide,armshangingawkwardly,readytoworkbutunsureofwhattodo.“Youwillbetrainedfirst,”mymanagerAaronsaid,“anddoremembertocheckeverydetail!”Withthesewords,hewalkedaway.Aworkmatethrewmeadishbrushandsaid,“Let‘sgetstarted.”Heintroducedmetothebasicsofwashingdishesanddemonstratedtheprocess.Thiswasthebeginningofmypart-timejob，anewstagewhereIwasbotheagertolearnandanxiousaboutthechallengesahead.part-timejobinarestaurantandAaron,astrictmanager.mainideaOnaFridaynight,Aaronswiftlyenteredthekitchen.“Whohasjustbused(收拾)thebackrighttable”heshouted,hisvoicesharpwithurgency.Myhands,slipperywithbubblesfromthebowlIwaswashing,nearlyletitslipthroughmyfingers.IwantedtosayIwasguilty,butAaron'scoldstaredidn'tpromiseahappyrewardfortheguywhoadmitted.Finally,amixoffearandmyownconsciencepushedtheresponseoutofmymouth.“Idid,Aaron.”“WhatwereyouthinkingGetbackouthereandlookatwhatyoumissed!”Hiswordsforcedmeforward.Igrabbedarag(抹布)andfollowedhimouttotabletwenty-two.Aswemadeourwaythroughtherestaurant,hesaidsomethingaboutrags,butIdidn'thearclearlywithotherconversationsgoingonaroundus.ImadeamistakebecauseIignoreddetails.mainideaIquicklyrealizedthetrueissuewasthemessbeneaththetable.Anearlyfullcupofbeerhadtippedover,creatingasmalllakeonthefloor.Itwasasignificantmistakeonmypart.“Takecareofit!”Aaronturnedandstormedofftothefrontoftherestaurant.Idroppeddowntocleanupthebeer.Thatwaswhenanotherproblemoccurred.Ihadbroughtonlyonerag.Onealreadywetrag.Itdidnothingbutincreasethesizeofthelake.“Morerags,”Ithought.Immediately,Irushedintothekitchenandhurriedlygrabbedfivedryrags,hopingAaronwouldn'tnoticemybriefabsence.IwantedtomakeitupbutIhadonlyonewetrag.mainidea1.基于語義連貫

理順敘事元素

深度解讀語篇原文本類型探究1.conflicts

Conflict1:Iignoredasmalllakeformedbyatripped-overcupofbeer.

Conlfict2:Iwasagreenhandintherestaurant.2.solutions：

Solution1:Dealwiththesmalllakeanddrythewetfloorwithmoredryrags.

Solution2:PayattentiontodetailsandlearnmorefrommycoworkersespeciallymymanagerAaron.梳理原文故事敘事模式，構(gòu)建“問題---解決”的敘事模式。4.矛盾沖突2解決后的結(jié)果；確定主題詞：升華主題（結(jié)尾與主題升華呼應(yīng)嚴(yán)師出高徒）NeverhadIimaginedthatmyworkwaswellreceivedbycustomers.Aaron’sharshwordsstillmotivatedmetobecomeabetterperson.3.矛盾與沖突1解決后的結(jié)果：首尾呼應(yīng)（結(jié)尾與敘事背景呼應(yīng)）

Theendingresult:IowedmygrowthtomystrictmanagerAaron.“Doremembercheckeverydetail”isoneofmymostunforgettablelessons.《課程標(biāo)準(zhǔn)》讀后續(xù)寫的主題意義的探究:培養(yǎng)學(xué)生核心素養(yǎng)。在英語學(xué)科中落實(shí)立德樹人的根本任務(wù)。讀后續(xù)寫，將語言的理解與語言的產(chǎn)出緊密結(jié)合，實(shí)現(xiàn)語言育人作用。

Readforcluesandechoes閱讀過程中尋找原文伏筆，進(jìn)行同向順承或反向表達(dá)：

clues

echoesIstoodintherestaurantkitchen,myeyeswide,armshangingawkwardly,readytoworkbutunsureofwhattodo.“Youwillbetrainedfirst,”mymanagerAaronsaid,“anddoremembertocheckeverydetail!”Withthesewords,hewalkedaway.Aaron’s“Doremembertocheckeverydetail“isoneofmymostunforgettablelessons.(點(diǎn)題）

clues

echoesAworkmatethrewmeadishbrushandsaid,“Let‘sgetstarted.”Heintroducedmetothebasicsofwashingdishesanddemonstratedtheprocess.Thiswasthebeginningofmypart-timejob，anewstagewhereIwasbotheagertolearnandanxiousaboutthechallengesahead.2.

Byobservingmyworkmates,Ilearntthebasicsofwashingdishesandhowtoservecustomers.3.ItwasreallykindofbeyondexpectationthatIstartedtoenjoythechallengesthatcamewith“details”.IwasgratefultoAaronforteachingmesuchanimportantlesson.

clues

echoes

OnaFridaynight,Aaronswiftlyenteredthekitchen.“Whohasjustbused(收拾)thebackrighttable?”heshouted,hisvoicesharpwithurgency.Myhands,slipperywithbubblesfromthebowlIwaswashing,nearlyletitslipthroughmyfingers.IwantedtosayIwasguilty,butAaron'scoldstaredidn'tpromiseahappyrewardfortheguywhoadmitted.Finally,amixoffearandmyownconsciencepushedtheresponseoutofmymouth.Whenclearingupthetable,Iwouldalwaysdouble-checkeverything,ensuringnothingwentwrong.5.Ifeltamixoffear,guilt,shameanddeterminationsurginginsideme.

clues

echoes

Iquicklyrealizedthetrueissuewasthemessbeneaththetable.Anearlyfullcupofbeerhadtippedover,creatingasmalllakeonthefloor.Itwasasignificantmistakeonmypart.“Takecareofit!”Aaronturnedandstormedofftothefrontoftherestaurant.Idroppeddowntocleanupthebeer.Thatwaswhenanotherproblemoccurred.Ihadbroughtonlyonerag.Onealreadywetrag.Itdidnothingbutincreasethesizeofthelake.“Morerags,”Ithought.Immediately,Irushedintothekitchenandhurriedlygrabbedfivedryrags,hopingAaronwouldn'tnoticemybriefabsence.

7.Itookresponsibilityformymistakeandtriedmybesttodomyworkascarefullyaspossiblefromthatdayon.Withfivedryrags,Ieventuallycleanedthemessanddeterminednottomakeanymistakelikethis.

Sortthroughdetailsofthestory

Analyzetheoriginalstory

Igotapart-timejobinarestaurantandthecorerequirementfromthemanager.Myfirstmistake:alakeformedbybeerunderthetableMysecondmistake:tookawetragPara1:myfeelings---myactiontohandlethebeerlake---themanager’sfeeling---myreflectionPara2:

Thoughtsaboutthemanager’sworkingstandard----myattitudetowardsmyjob–resultsandeffects(fromcustomers/mycolleagues/manager---mygrowthanddevelopment---reflection(teachmetopayattentiontodetails//Iwasinspired/motivatedtobeabetterman本文六要素：Time：aFridaynightPlace:inarestaurantCharacters:I---part-timeworker,Aaron---manager;aworkmate,(customersintherestaurant)Why:acupofbeertippedoverandformedasmalllakeunderatable---itwasmymistake.How:(continuationcontent：dealwiththesmalllake)Result:（continuationcontent：workafterdealingwiththesmalllakeandmyharvestfromtheexperience)AspectsinContinuation

本文以第一人稱視角進(jìn)行敘事，

故事的主角是I是餐廳兼職工作人員

配角Aaron經(jīng)理，對工作很苛刻。還有一個工友workmate。可見續(xù)寫的人物主要是I以及經(jīng)理。考慮到餐廳是服務(wù)單位，故而customer也可以在適當(dāng)?shù)膱鼍俺霈F(xiàn)一下。比如盛贊我的工作。地點(diǎn)不變：intherestaurant;時間oneFridaynight,周五是周末的開始，一般飯店用餐人會比較多。可以作為續(xù)寫的入筆點(diǎn)。本文立意角度：

一般來說，原文如果有一個角色說了一句比較有哲理的話，這句話一定是主題的暗示語。考生可以完全借鑒這句話來引領(lǐng)文章的行文方向

，并以此升華主題，體現(xiàn)育人作用。本文的主題句：Doremembereverydetail.續(xù)寫兩段的構(gòu)思安排：Scene1:HowdidIfeelScene2:WhatdidIdoWhatdidAarondoScene3:WhatdidIdowiththedryragsHowdidAaronfeelthen

Para1:IhadjustrushedoutwhenIfoundAaronstandinginmyway.Para2:Aftercleaningupthemess,IreflectedonAaron'swords.Scene1:WhatwasmyreflectionScene2:WhatwouldIdoforcustomersaftertheepisodeScene3:Howdidthecustomersreacttomyservice&workWhatdidIlearnfromtheexperience/fromAaron

語篇銜接的三個“一定”①一定要有與第二段段首句中的同詞或同義詞。②實(shí)現(xiàn)無縫銜接第一段結(jié)尾①一定要呼應(yīng)原文中體現(xiàn)主題或伏筆的關(guān)鍵詞。②實(shí)現(xiàn)主題升華第二段結(jié)尾①一定要把段首句的名詞或動詞（尤其是后半句），用在寫作開頭，實(shí)現(xiàn)語義連貫。②力爭高分開頭第一、二段開頭根據(jù)銜接連貫理論，通過詞匯的有效銜接（詞匯同現(xiàn)或詞匯復(fù)現(xiàn)）實(shí)現(xiàn)語義連貫和邏輯銜接。

Designplotsforeachparagraph確定核心詞匯：所給段落首句的名詞、動詞、地點(diǎn)、時間等要讀透，并利用所給段落首句的核心詞匯進(jìn)行兩段首句的創(chuàng)作，增強(qiáng)與原文的協(xié)同性，一致性，確保續(xù)寫內(nèi)容與原文故事語義連貫；附評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)：第五檔：（21—25分）與所給短文融洽度高，與段落開頭銜接合理，內(nèi)容豐富，有效地使用了語句間連接成分，使所續(xù)寫短文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊結(jié)合原文本最后一段定首段Link1Para1:IhadjustrushedoutwhenIfoundAaronstandinginmyway.Link1A:（我剛兼職不久就犯了錯，看到嚴(yán)厲的老板，自然害怕。)Myheartsank/missedabeat

asIsawtheserious/sternlookonhisface.結(jié)合原文本最后一段定首段Link1Para1:IhadjustrushedoutwhenIfoundAaronstandinginmyway.Link1B:（見到老板不悅的表情，心情低落)

Seeingthedissatisfactiononhisface,Iwasinlowspirits.Para1:IhadjustrushedoutwhenIfoundAaronstandinginmyway.Link2A:(根據(jù)第二段所給首句themess,與原文的

thebeerlake回扣。）Withallthedryrags,thebeer“l(fā)ake”

wasremoved.Para2:Aftercleaningupthemess,IreflectedonAaron'swords.結(jié)合第二段首句定Link2:（句群）Para1:IhadjustrushedoutwhenIfoundAaronstandinginmyway.Link2B:(根據(jù)第二段所給首句aftercleaningupthemess,第一段結(jié)尾處應(yīng)與處理一團(tuán)水漬有關(guān)）

AsIfinishedthemessunderthetable,IlookedupandsawAaronwatchingme.Icouldseeatouchofapprovalinhiseyes,whichgavemeaglimmerofhopeformyfutureattherestaurant.Para2:Aftercleaningupthemess,IreflectedonAaron‘swords.結(jié)合第二段首句定Link2:（句群）Para1:IhadjustrushedoutwhenIfoundAaronstandinginmyway.Link2C:(根據(jù)第二段所給首句aftercleaningupthemess,第一段結(jié)尾處應(yīng)與處理一團(tuán)水漬有關(guān)+推測我兼職原因）

AsIfinishedthemessunderthetable,I

lookedupandsawAaronthumbingupatmewithasmilingface.Breathingasighofrelief,Iwasoverjoyedtokeepmypart-timejob,whichhelpedtosupportme.Para2:Aftercleaningupthemess,IreflectedonAaron‘swords.結(jié)合第二段首句定Link2:（句群）結(jié)合第二段首句定第二段Link3Para2:Aftercleaningupthemess,IreflectedonAaron'swords..Link3A:(以I為敘事對象：既然反思，那么我可以下決心作出改變。）I

determinedtomakeachange.結(jié)合第二段首句定第二段Link3Para2:Aftercleaningupthemess,IreflectedonAaron'swords.Link3B:(以反思的內(nèi)容為落筆處：經(jīng)理嚴(yán)格要求不是為難/貶低我，而是讓我快速成長起來）

Irealized

thathisstrictness/seriousnesswasnotmeanttoembarrass/belittlemebuttohelpmegrowandlearntodomyjobmoreproductively.Para2:Aftercleaningupthemess,IreflectedonAaron'swords.

EndingA：(回扣原文第一段的Doremembertocheckeverydetail）

ItwasreallykindofbeyondexpectationthatIstartedtoenjoythechallengesthatcamewith“details”.

IwasgratefultoAaronforteachingmesuchanimportantlesson---Doremembertocheckeverydetail.結(jié)合主題立意或呼應(yīng)原文設(shè)定目標(biāo)定EndingPara2:Aftercleaningupthemess,IreflectedonAaron'swords.

EndingB：(體現(xiàn)個人成長）ThankstoAaron’sdemandingworkingrules,Iwasmotivatedtobecomeabetterperson.結(jié)合主題立意或呼應(yīng)原文設(shè)定目標(biāo)定Ending習(xí)作欣賞1Para1:IhadjustrushedoutwhenIfoundAaronstandinginmyway.Myheartmissedabeat

asIsawtheseriouslookonhisface.

Ifeared

hewouldscoldmefornotcleaningupthemessintime.“I‘msorry,Aaron.Itwon’thappenagain,”Isaidinalowvoice,hopingtoeasehisanger.He

staredatmeforamomentbeforespeaking.“High-qualityservicecomesfirstintherestaurant.Tidinesscountstoo.Youneedtocheckoneverydetail,”hesaidfirmly.Acomplicatedmixofguilt,shameanddeterminationsurgedinsideme.IknewfromthebottomofmyheartIhadtoprovetohimthatIcouldhandleeveryaspectofmypart-timejob.Withallthedryrags,thebeer“l(fā)ake”

wasremoved.Para2:Aftercleaningupthemess,IreflectedonAaron'swords.Myfacestillburningwithshame,I

determinedtomakeachange.Byobservingotherworkmatesmoreattentively,Ilearnt

howtodothedisheseffectivelyandservecustomersproperly/appropriately.

Whenclearingupthetable,Imadesuretodouble-checkeverythingbeforeleaving.Toensureexcellentservice,

Ialsopaidcloserattentiontothecustomers'needsandmeetthemasmuchaspossible.Timetickingby,myeffortspaidoff.

IprovedtoAaronandmyworkmatesthatIgrewintoareliableandresponsibleworker.Seeingcustomers’satisfiedlook,

Aaron

thumbedupatme,whichfilledmyheartwithgreatjoy.ThankstoAaron’sdemanding