PAGEPAGE4名校高分滿分作文借鑒話題一：旅游／風(fēng)俗習(xí)慣外國友人來信咨詢在北京要注意的風(fēng)土人情和文化習(xí)俗，請你寫一封回信介紹并提醒他在北京需要注意的風(fēng)俗習(xí)慣并如何得體的表現(xiàn)，包括打招呼、餐桌禮儀及家庭法則。提示詞：Greetingtablemannershomerules范文一：（101中學(xué)15分）Howtobehavewhenwearetravelling Nowadays,moreandmoreChinesepeopleprefertotravelaroundtheworld.TheybringtheChinesetraditionalvirtueabroad,butatthesametime,someoftheirbehaviorsreallydamageChinesereputationintheworld.It’snecessaryforustolearnhowtobehavewhenwe’retravelling. Aboveall,we’resupposedtobecivilizedwhilevisitingfamousplaces.Insteadofdoingboringthingslikecuttingnamesonhistoricalsites,listeningtotheguidesareencouragedinordertoshowourrespectforthecountry.It’salsoabadbehaviortotakephotossecretlywithoutpermission.Intherestaurant,it’simpolitetotalkwithfriendsloudly,whichmayannoyothers.Whydon’twelearnsomepolitewordsinforeignlanguageandtrytocommunicatewithlocalpeople?Thisreallyhelpsustohaveabetterunderstandingaboutdifferentcultures. Whyarewesupposedtodoso?Goodmannersmakeourtourmorecomfortableandpleasant.Asweallwanttohaveaharmoniousenvironmenttolivein,politebehaviorsleaveagoodimpressiononeverybody’sheart.OurcoursesaresymbolofChina,andeachChineseshouldpayhisowneffort.（189字）點(diǎn)評：整體看，作者運(yùn)用長句的能力很強(qiáng)，而且文章的組織性很強(qiáng)，內(nèi)容很充實(shí)，全篇無語法錯誤再加上高級的長句運(yùn)用，當(dāng)然必須滿分。開篇內(nèi)容很充實(shí)，有標(biāo)黃長句，用詞地道，搭配貼切，給評委很好的第一印象。中間標(biāo)紅句子運(yùn)用without這一小詞非常地道。結(jié)尾部分也有標(biāo)黃長句，再次形成前后呼應(yīng)，開頭結(jié)尾都有高級長句坐鎮(zhèn)，所以文章從內(nèi)容從形式上都是一流水準(zhǔn)。實(shí)用借鑒詞組及句型：bringtheChinesetraditionalvirtueabroad把中國美德帶到國外damageChinesereputationintheworld破壞中國在國際上的名聲haveabetterunderstandingof…更好掌握…it’salsoabadbehaviorto…=wearenotsupposedto…不建議做某事wanttohaveaharmoniousenvironmenttolivein想要有一個和諧的生存環(huán)境besymbolofsth.是某事的象征sth.leaveagoodimpressiononeverybody’sheart.某事在某人心中留下好的印象insteadofdoingsth,doingsth.isencouragedinorderto…與其做某事（不好的事）…做某事（好事）是值得鼓勵的，因?yàn)檫@樣可以（后加好處）范文二：（101中學(xué)15分）Howtobeacivilizedtourist FromtimetotimeitwasreportedthatChinesetouristbehavebadlywhentravelling.Itseemsparticularlyimportanttotelleveryonehowtobeacivilizedtouristnow.Firstofall,weareobligatedtoactproperly,orrather,bepoliteandfollowlocalruleswhentravelling.Obviously,litteringanddamaginghistoricalsitesbyengravingletters,whicharecommonamongtourist,arehateful.Wearedefinitelynotsupposedtodoso.Tobecivilized,weshouldbehavepolitely.Aswell-educatedpeople,touristarenotsupposedtotalkloudlyinpublic,whichisreallyannoying.Inaddition,Isuggestlearningsomelocalcustomsbeforewegotravelling,sothatwewon’tbreaktherulesunconsciouslywhentravelling.Thelocalswillbegladtoseeusbehaveintheirwaysandwe’llfeelalotmorerelaxedtoenjoyourtrip,avoidingthecaseswhenwe’reblindabouthowtobehaveproperlyandpolitely.Theseareallabouthowtobecivilizedtourists.Andweshouldneverignorethatourbehaviorsnotonlyrepresentourpersonalqualitiesandmanners,theyalsosymbolizethequalitiesofweChinese.（185字）點(diǎn)評：這篇文章沒有上一篇好，原因在于沒有分段。層次性不夠強(qiáng)。句型相對比較單一，長句結(jié)構(gòu)不夠豐富使用的高級詞匯以及地道用法也不如上一篇多但這篇還是得到滿分的主要在于無語法錯誤，表示建議類的句型比較豐富，并且句型在使用的時候比較地道的體現(xiàn)在于有插入語的運(yùn)用。實(shí)用借鑒詞組及句型：Itseemsparticularlyimportantto…做某事看起來尤其重要tobeacivilizedtourist做一個文明的游客weareobligatedtoactproperly我們有責(zé)任舉止妥當(dāng)breaktherulesunconsciously無意中沒有遵守規(guī)則Thelocalswillbegladtoseeusbehaveintheirways按照當(dāng)?shù)厝说淖鍪嘛L(fēng)格來做會讓他們很開心。（此處如果能引用DoasRomansdo也不錯。）representourpersonalqualities代表我們的個人品行symbolizethequalitiesofweChinese.代表我們中國人的品行（注意這里兩個代表“represent”和“symbolize”體現(xiàn)詞匯的豐富性）范文三：（101中學(xué)14分）work.Notonlyisshearesponsibleperson,butalsosheisveryoptimisticandoftenencouragesustoworkharderwhenwefeeldown.Lastbutnotleast,sheisthoughtfulandpatientandisalwaystheretohelpuswhenwecomeacrossproblemseitherwithourstudiesorwithourlives. Forexample,onceIgotveryanxiousbeforethefinalexambecauseIalwaysmadesmallmistakesinmytasksandhomework.Aftershelearnedaboutthis,sheinvitedmetositnexttoherandspentalongtimetalkingwithmeandgivingmeadviceonhowtokeepcalm,whichhelpedmefacetherealityandimprovemyselfmorequickly. Fromher,Ihavelearnedbothknowledgeandgoodvirtues.Herbehavioralwaysremindsmetobeoptimisticinfaceofdifficultiesandtobepatientwiththepeoplearoundme.Fortheseresons,sheiswithoutdoubtthebestheroinmyheart.（203字）點(diǎn)評： 這篇文章之所以成為人大附的高分范文，最主要的原因在于作者能夠很好的將要點(diǎn)融入到高級的長難句當(dāng)中，并且全文無語法錯誤，通讀下來十分流暢，思路清晰，層次分明，表達(dá)高級。實(shí)用借鑒詞組及句型：IhavealwaysregardedmyEnglishteacherasmyherobecauseofherpatientandkindness.我總是把我的英語老師當(dāng)成我的英雄，因?yàn)樗哪托暮陀押谩otonlyisshearesponsibleperson,butalsosheisveryoptimisticandoftenencouragesustoworkharderwhenwefeeldown.不僅因?yàn)樗且粋€負(fù)責(zé)的人，還因?yàn)樗龢酚^的態(tài)度并且經(jīng)常在我們失落的時候鼓勵我們。（此句以notonly開頭語法上需要倒裝，后面butalso運(yùn)用正常語序即可，并且作者并不滿足于知識套用這個句型而是繼續(xù)把句子寫長加上了when引導(dǎo)的時間狀語從句）sheisthoughtfulandpatientandisalwaystheretohelpuswhenwecomeacrossproblemseitherwithourstudiesorwithourlives.她思慮周全又有耐心，還經(jīng)常在我們遇到學(xué)習(xí)或生活中的困難時幫助我們。（此句又是一個成功的長句，首先是thoughtful和patient這些小詞用的精準(zhǔn)貼切，其次是不僅運(yùn)用when引導(dǎo)時間狀語從句還有either…or…和準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用。）infaceofdifficulties面對困難Sb.iswithoutdoubt…某人毫無疑問是…范文二：（人大附12分） Everyonehashisheroinhisheart.Myheroismyteacher－Ms.Gao.Sheiskindandhelpful.AndIstillremembertheexperiencethatmademegetbackmyconfidenceinthenation-wideEnglishspeechcompetitionlastyear. Atfirst,Ididn’tknowwhattowriteformyspeech,butaftertalkingtomyteacherandreadingsomebooks,IhadsomeideasandwithMs.Gao’shelp,Ipracticemyspeechmanytimes.Onthedayofthecompetition,Isawmanypeoplethereandthismademefeelverynervous.IstartedtoworrythatIwouldforgetmyspeech.ThenIrememberwhatMs.Gaotoldme－closemyeyesandtakedeepbreaths.Ididthatanditmademefeelmuchbetter.Whenmyturncame,Igavemyspeechwithconfidence.IwaitedanxiouslyfortheresultandwhenIheardthatIwasthefirstpricewinner,Ijumpedupanddowninjoy. Inaword,sheisaniceandhelpfulteacherinmyheart.Sheisarealheroinmyheart.（186字）點(diǎn)評：這篇文章首先比較好的一點(diǎn)是內(nèi)容完整，講述的故事的闡釋力比較強(qiáng)，但是沒有能上一檔文的一個重要原因在于寫的比較保守，詞匯運(yùn)用比較簡單，短句較多，讓人眼前一亮的長句少，幾乎沒有。結(jié)尾也比較簡單。實(shí)用借鑒詞組及句型：Istillremembertheexperiencethatmademegetbackmyconfidenceinthenation-wideEnglishspeechcompetitionlastyear.我依然記得的一次經(jīng)歷是去年國家級英語演講比賽時讓我重拾信心。（作為這篇文章中僅有兩個好句中的一個長句，首先由that定語從句，后面還加上了地點(diǎn)和時間狀語）IwaitedanxiouslyfortheresultandwhenIheardthatIwasthefirstpricewinner,Ijumpedupanddowninjoy.我焦急地等待結(jié)果，當(dāng)我聽到自己獲得第一名的時候高興得跳起來。Jumpupanddowninjoy開心地跳上跳下話題三：你是否符合“文明之星”范文一：（101中學(xué)12月考15分） Ithinkmybehaviorsurelymeetthestandardofbeing“astarstudentofcivility”.Iampoliteandmodestallthetime.Ihavenevertalkedbacktomyparentsathomeeveniftheyarestronglyagainstmyidea.Besides,Ineverbreakinwhiletheyarevoicingtheiropinions.What’smore,Ineverfailtokeepawayfromdirtywords.Indeed,Ineverinsultorlookdownuponothers.Inaddition,Ilovehelpingothers.I’malwayseagertohelppeoplearoundmewhentheyhavedifficulties.Onweekends,Ialsotakeoversomehouseworkfrommyparents,likesweepingandmoppingthefloor. I’mwillingtobelikethatanddothesethings.Politenessisanobvioussymbolofcivilizationandtherewillbenodifferencesbetweenhumansandanimalsifeveryoneisrude.IalsoconsiderhelpingothersawonderfulthingwhenothersbenefitfrommyhelpandIgetgreatpleasureatthesametime.Helpingothers,ashaslongbeenpraisedasamorality,playsanindispensableroleincivility. Ineverfeeltiredorfed-upwhenIdosuchthings,thoughsometimesthey’reexhaustingorevenpains-taking.I’mhappytobelikewhatIamtodayandthemoreI’mpoliteandhelpful,themoreIgetencouragedtocarryon.Ireallyenjoycivility. IthinkI’mqualifiedtobea“starstudentofcivility”,Iwouldbeverygladifyouchooseme.Thanksalot.(246字)點(diǎn)評：這篇文章從整體，從每一句話的細(xì)節(jié)上都有可圈可點(diǎn)的地方，唯一的一個小瑕疵就是字?jǐn)?shù)偏多，應(yīng)該控制在215字左右會更佳。整篇文章結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，思路完整，內(nèi)容豐富，搭配和表達(dá)都很地道，很多長句很高級并且包含很多高級詞匯，是一篇難得的佳作。實(shí)用借鑒詞組及句型：meetthestandardof…符合…的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)againstone’sopinion反對某人的建議eagertohelppeoplearoundmewhentheyhavedifficulties.渴望幫助我身邊的人，當(dāng)她們遇到困難的時候。takeoversomehousework掌管一些家務(wù)活likesweepingandmoppingthefloor.比如掃地拖地。playsanindispensablerolein...在…中扮演不可或缺的角色I(xiàn)neverfeeltiredorfed-upwhenIdosuchthings,thoughsometimesthey’reexhaustingorevenpains-taking.當(dāng)我做這些事的時候我從來不會覺得累或者厭倦，雖然這些事有時候令人疲倦甚至煞費(fèi)人苦心。Carryon繼續(xù)bequalifiedto…有資格做某事IalsoconsiderhelpingothersawonderfulthingwhenothersbenefitfrommyhelpandIgetgreatpleasureatthesametime.我把幫助別人看成是一件很美妙的事情，當(dāng)我能幫助他們獲益并且我自己也能從中收獲快樂。話題四：假期生活及新學(xué)期打算范文一：人大附 ThissummervacationIwenttoKenyawithmyfather.Itisabeautifulcountrywhichhasalotofwildanimals.Wetookacarandsawagreatnumberofgnusandelephantseatinggrass.Thefoodtherewereverydelicious.WetriedmanykindsoftraditionalEnglishdinerinKenya.Afterdinnerwealwaystookawalkaroundthehotelandenjoyedtheviewoftheskywhichwasfilledwithstars.Inaword,IhadaverygoodtimeinKenya! Asforthenewterm,Ihavealreadymadeseveralplans.Letmetellyousome!Firstly,I’mgoingtolearnwaterpainting.Ithinkit’llbeabitdifficultforme,butIdecidetohaveatry.What’smore,IplantoreadafantasticEnglishbooknamedJaneEyre.ItwillhelpmeimprovemyEnglish. Howaboutyou?Wheredidyougoonyousummervacation?Doyouhaveanyplanforthenewterm?Writetomesoonandtellmesomeofyourplans.(176字)點(diǎn)評：這篇范文很突出的一個點(diǎn)在于語言表達(dá)的自然流暢，前后銜接過渡好，具備良好的英語表達(dá)能力，并且有運(yùn)用長句的意識，全文三個部分層次分明，內(nèi)容充實(shí)。實(shí)用借鑒詞組及句型：enjoytheviewofsth.欣賞…的美景takeawalk散步fantastic極好的Afterdinnerwealwaystookawalkaroundthehotelandenjoyedtheviewoftheskywhichwasfilledwithstars.晚飯后，我們總是在酒店附近散散步，欣賞繁星滿天的美景。話題五；向外國人介紹中國禮儀whatareyousupposedtodowhenyoumeetsomeoneforthefirsttime?whatshouldyoudowhenolderpeopleareatthedinnertable?Whatdoyouusuallydotobepoliteathomeandatschool?WhatisthemostimportanttogetalongwithpeopleinChina?范文一；（人大附） AsthemannersinAmericaisnotexactlyparalleltooursinChina,it’smypleasuretoinformyouofourcustoms.Whenwemeetforthefirsttime,it’sacceptabletoshakehandswitheachother.We‘renotsupposedtohavemealsuntilolderpeoplestarttoeat,andatthesametime,wechildrenshouldlowerourcupsabitasamarkofrespect. Besides,wekeeppolitebothathomeandatschool.Insteadofaskingparentsforhelpfromtimetotime,servingthemacupofteamaybeofhelptodriveawaytheirtiredness.Peopletalkingbacktotheirparentsareconsideredasimpoliteguys,andwealwaysvolunteertotakeonhouseworkduringourfreetime.Atschool,werespectaltheclassmatesandteachers.Andevenifweshineatsomething,we’reexpectedtobemodestallthetime,whichisseenasatraditionalvirtue. Doyoufeeluneasywhilereadingtheseendlessmanners?Actually,thelocalpeopleareveryeasytogetalongwith,aslongasyou’repoliteandfriendly,whichisthemostimportant. ApleasantlifeinBeijingishand-in-handwithyourgoodbehaviors.Isuggestyoufollowthesecustoms.Iguessthereliesmydutytohelp! Ihopeyou’llenjoyyourselfinBeijing.（221字）點(diǎn)評：這篇范文最突出的特點(diǎn)就是能夠熟練套用各類建議類的句型且無語法錯誤，句型多樣。此外整篇文章的銜接自然，思路層次比較清晰，內(nèi)容完整，表達(dá)流暢，有很強(qiáng)的借鑒性。實(shí)用借鑒詞組及句型：beparallelto與…平行it’sacceptableto…做某事是可接受的sb.supposedto…某人應(yīng)該做某事asamarkof…是…的標(biāo)志insteadofdoingsth,doingsth.maybeofgreathelpto…與其做某事，不如做某事來…beconsideredas被認(rèn)為是sb.suggestssb.(should)dosth.建議某人做某事Actually,thelocalpeopleareveryeasytogetalongwith,aslongasyou’repoliteandfriendly,whichisthemostimportant.事實(shí)上，當(dāng)?shù)厝硕己芎孟嗵帲灰隳軌蛴卸Y貌并且友好，這才是最重要的。范文二：（人大附） I’mgladtohearfromyou.WelcometoBeijing.IamgladtotellyousomeimportantmannersinChina. Tobeginwith,it’salwaysimportanttogivepeopleagoodfirstimpression,sowearesupposedtogreetpeoplebyshakinghandsinsteadofhugging.Besides,wearenotexpectedtocallsomeone’snamedirectly.Thereisalsosomethingyouneedtorememberwhenolderpeopleareatthedinnertable.It’snecessaryforustostarteatingafterolderpeople.Inaddition,wearesupposedtoholdourcupslowerthantheolderpeople’swhenwecheertogether. Iholdtheviewthatitisimportantforustobepolitebothatschoolandathome.Asforme,Ineverfailtogreetteachersnomatterwearefamiliarornot.What’smore,Ialwayshelpclassmatesinneedforthat’swhatfriendshipreallymeans.Besidesthat,I’mgladtohelpmyparentstodohouseworkathome,foritcanreleasetheirpleasurefromwork.Lastbutnotleast,Inevertalkbacktomyparentsathome. Tosumup,IbelievethemostimportantthingtogetalongwithChinesepeopleistorespectthem.Chinesepeoplearequietwarm-heartedandifyouhaveanydifficulties,don’tbenervoustoaskforhelp. IhopeyouenjoyyourselfinBeijing.(227字)點(diǎn)評：首先這篇范文最好的一個值得其他考生學(xué)習(xí)的一個點(diǎn)在于它的銜接詞，非常豐富并且符合語境，上文中標(biāo)紫色的均是（tobeginwith;besides;inaddition;asforme;what’smore;besidesthat;lastbutnotleast;tosumup）此外對于同一語意，作者也盡量多用不同的表達(dá)法，例如Ibelieve和Iholdtheviewthat…,并且還有表示建議類的多種表達(dá)法的句型課參照下面。實(shí)用借鑒詞組及句型：wearesupposedtogreetpeoplebyshakinghandsinsteadofhugging.我們應(yīng)該在與人問候時握手而不是擁抱。（這句話與一般同學(xué)寫的weshouldshakehandswithothers要高級的地方在于首先“應(yīng)該”換成了besupposedto其次后面還有一個insteadof加長句子）beexpectedto=besupposedto=itisnecessaryto這三個表達(dá)法都可以運(yùn)用到建議類的書寫中sb.neverfailto…某人從不錯失機(jī)會去…tosumup=inconclusion=allinall=inone/aword表示總結(jié)的段落可以用這幾個開頭。warm-heartedr熱心的話題六：最喜歡的禮物范文一：2中14分 Ihavereceivedalotofpresentsbutmyfavoriteoneisanice-creamcakewhichwassentbymybestfriend. WegotinafightonedayandIwasverysad.Ithoughtshewouldnevertalkwithme.Buttomysurprise,shecametovisitmeandbroughtmeanice-creamcakewhichwaswithcookiesandchocolatesonit.ThecakewaslovelyandIwasmoved.Wesharedthecaketogetherandwhenthesmoothandfrozenice-creamrushedintomymonth,IthoughtIhavetastedthefriendship. Thecakeismyfavoritegiftever.（102字）點(diǎn)評：這篇文章最好的一個點(diǎn)在于取材，內(nèi)容很感人，書寫流暢，無語法錯誤，所以讀過來十分享受的同時，作者又很好地闡釋啦自己最喜歡的禮物，美中不足的是字?jǐn)?shù)相對較少，內(nèi)容上應(yīng)該再多一些擴(kuò)充，特別是最后的感想關(guān)于友誼的部分可以再展開。實(shí)用借鑒詞組及句型：getinafight鬧別扭toone’ssurprise讓某人吃驚的是tas