第二節(jié)從微觀把握——讀后續(xù)寫微技能微技能一如何精準(zhǔn)解讀文本讀后續(xù)寫的選材主要是故事類記敘文，是以敘事為主要內(nèi)容的一種文體。要續(xù)寫好這類文章，理解文本是第一步。對(duì)于故事類記敘文閱讀，要注意以下幾個(gè)方面。1.抓住記敘文的6要素即人物、時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)、事件的起因、經(jīng)過(guò)和結(jié)果，讀后續(xù)寫所提供的文本除了結(jié)果這一要素之外，把其余五個(gè)要素?cái)⑹龅们迩宄Ｒ虼碎喿x文本時(shí)要緊扣這五個(gè)要素。2.掌握記敘文的3大線索即時(shí)間線、情節(jié)線和感情線。閱讀文本時(shí)要抓住這三條主線。必要時(shí)可以列出這些線索，以更好地理解文章，為續(xù)寫做好準(zhǔn)備。只有對(duì)原文的脈絡(luò)線索和段落結(jié)構(gòu)有正確和深刻的理解，續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容才能和原文骨肉相連，契合緊密。3.把握文章主旨和故事的發(fā)展方向這點(diǎn)至關(guān)重要。只有把握了文章的主旨意圖，才能很好地完成續(xù)寫。確保續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容和原文要有邏輯上的一致性，并能回應(yīng)原文的信息。4.分析文章的用詞特點(diǎn)和行文風(fēng)格考生要仔細(xì)閱讀給定的前文，在充分理解文章內(nèi)容的基礎(chǔ)上，認(rèn)真體會(huì)前文的用詞特點(diǎn)和行文風(fēng)格，只有這樣才能使續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容在語(yǔ)言色彩上和行文風(fēng)格上與所給文章保持高度一致。【典例】（2021·新高考卷Ⅰ）閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。AMOTHER’SDAYSURPRISEThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother’sDay.HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.TheyplannedtomakeFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknewexactlywhattodo.Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.Thepairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.TheyputsomericeintoapotofwaterandleftittoboilwhiletheymadetheFrenchtoast.Jeffbroketwoeggsintoaplateandaddedinsomemilk.Jennafoundthebreadandputtwoslicesintotheeggmixture.Next，Jeffturnedonthesecondstoveburnertoheatupthefryingpan.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime，sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute，theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully，Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff’shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear！Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment，theirfatherappeared.Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.1.本文的6要素本文是記敘文，講述了一對(duì)雙胞胎在母親節(jié)那天為媽媽做早餐的故事。人物ThetwinsJennaandJeff，theirfather，theirmother時(shí)間OnthemorningofMother’sDay地點(diǎn)Kitchen，bedroom起因、經(jīng)過(guò)和結(jié)果ThetwinsJennaandJeffpreparedasurpriseonMother’sDayfortheirmother，butfailedatthebeginning...2.本文的3大線索（1）時(shí)間線：OnthemorningofMother’sDay（2）情節(jié)線：ThetwinsJennaandJeffwantedtoprepareasurpriseonMother’sDayfortheirmother.（雙胞胎計(jì)劃在母親節(jié)那天給媽媽一個(gè)驚喜）?OnthemorningofMother’sDay，thetwinsJennaandJeffboiltheporridgefirstandthenmadetheFrenchtoast.（母親節(jié)這一天，雙胞胎來(lái)到廚房，煮粥，做吐司）?Theporridgeboiledover，Jeff’shandwasinjuredbythehotburnerandthepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.（粥煮沸溢了出來(lái)，Jeff的手燙著了，面包片烤糊了。）③感情線：Harmoniousrelationshipbetweentheirfamilymembers.3.本文的主旨及故事的發(fā)展方向（1）本文主旨：ThetwinswerepreparingasurpriseonMother’sDayfortheirmothertoshowtheirlove.（2）故事的發(fā)展方向：Howtopreparethesurprisebreakfastsuccessfully？4.本文的用詞特點(diǎn)和行文風(fēng)格本文語(yǔ)言平實(shí)、行文流暢、敘事娓娓道來(lái)。（1）精準(zhǔn)的心理描寫：ThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother’sDay.HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.（2）細(xì)膩的動(dòng)作和神態(tài)描寫：Thenextminute，theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully，Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.

【范文必背】Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment，theirfatherappeared.Seeingthemessinthekitchen（現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)），heimmediatelyunderstoodwhathadhappened（賓語(yǔ)從句），buthewasn’tupset.Instead，heappliedsomemedicinetoJeff’shand，andthensetouttohelpthemcleanupthemess，throwingawaytheburnttoast.Next，theybegantomakebreakfast，anduntilthenthetwinslookedcheerful.Beforelong，theporridgewasready.Theirfatherinstructedthemtofrytherestofthebread.Soon，thebreakfastwasready，too.Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.Openinghereyes，shecouldn’tbelievewhatshehadseen.Beforeshecouldaskanyquestion，theirfatherturnedupandtoldhiswifeabouthowthetwinshadmadepreparationstogiveherthesurprisebreakfast（about的第一個(gè)賓語(yǔ)從句），andwhattroubletheyhadgonethroughwhenmakingtheporridgeandtoast（about的第二個(gè)賓語(yǔ)從句，其中whenmaking相當(dāng)于whentheyweremaking）.Disbeliefgavewaytoexcitementandpride.Huggingtheminherarms，shesaid，“Thankyou，children.It’ssuchanunforgettableMother’sDayforme.”微技能二如何精心構(gòu)建續(xù)寫情節(jié)要想寫好讀后續(xù)寫，關(guān)鍵是有效構(gòu)建續(xù)寫情節(jié)，其中包含兩個(gè)重要的步驟：第一步是依據(jù)兩段首句，推理情節(jié)發(fā)展，搭建寫作框架；第二步是增加相關(guān)細(xì)節(jié)，完善續(xù)寫情節(jié)。構(gòu)思時(shí)還要注意四個(gè)順暢的呼應(yīng)點(diǎn)。一、抓住關(guān)鍵信息，構(gòu)思續(xù)寫框架口訣：兩段首句定一框，二框二首正能量1.兩段首句定一框：即由第一段的首句和第二段的首句可以定出第一段的框架。所給第一段的首句既能承接上文，也是本段的起始句，由第二段的首句可以推測(cè)第一段的結(jié)尾。2.二框二首正能量：即由第二段的首句和根據(jù)文章應(yīng)是美好結(jié)局或正能量的結(jié)局的特點(diǎn)可以預(yù)測(cè)故事結(jié)局，定出第二段的框架。二、有效依據(jù)“五所”，豐富續(xù)寫情節(jié)以上步驟僅僅定出了寫作框架，在構(gòu)思時(shí)，還要進(jìn)行情節(jié)擴(kuò)充，讓續(xù)寫有血有肉。建議大家寫“五所”（所見(jiàn)、所聞、所說(shuō)、所思、所做），并對(duì)此進(jìn)行設(shè)問(wèn)，可以有效地豐富續(xù)寫的主要情節(jié)。1.所見(jiàn)：環(huán)境描寫/人物描寫/神情描寫2.所聞、所說(shuō)：語(yǔ)言描寫3.所思：心理描寫4.所做：動(dòng)作描寫三、四個(gè)順暢呼應(yīng)，進(jìn)行有效銜接1.續(xù)寫首句與給出的首段首句的銜接；2.續(xù)寫首段尾句與給出的次段首句的銜接；3.給出的次段首句與續(xù)寫次段首句的銜接；4.文章結(jié)尾升華與文章主題意義的銜接。【典例】（2021·八省市聯(lián)考）閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。Duringthispastyear，I’vehadthreeinstancesofcartrouble.Eachtimethesethingshappened，Iwassickofthewaymostpeoplehadn’tbotheredtohelp.Oneofthosetimes，IwasonthesideoftheroadforclosetothreehourswithmybigJeep.Iputsignsinthewindows，bigsignsthatsaidNEEDAJACK（千斤頂），andofferedmoney.Nothing.RightasIwasabouttogiveup，aMexicanfamilyinasmalltruckpulledover，andthefatherboundedout.Hesizedupthesituationandcalledforhisdaughter，whospokeEnglish.HeconveyedthroughherthathehadajackbutthatitwastoosmallfortheJeep，sowewouldneedsomethingtosupportit.Thenhegotasaw（鋸子）fromthetruckandcutasectionoutofabiglogonthesideoftheroad.Werolleditoverandputhisjackontop，andwewereinbusiness.Istartedtakingthewheeloff，andthen，ifyoucanbelieveit，Ibrokehistireiron.Noworries：Hehandedittohiswife，andshewasgoneinaflashdowntheroadtobuyanewtireiron.Shewasbackin15minutes.Wefinishedthejob，andIwasaveryhappyman.Thetwoofusweredirtyandsweaty.Hiswifepreparedapotofwaterforustowashourhands.Itriedtoputa$20billintheman’shand，buthewouldn’ttakeit，soinsteadIwentuptothetruckandgaveittohiswifeasquietlyasIcould.Iaskedthelittlegirlwheretheylived.Mexico，shesaid.TheywereinOregonsoMommyandDaddycouldworkonafruitfarmforthenextfewweeks.Thentheywouldgohome.注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。WhenIwasabouttosaygoodbye，thegirlaskedifI’dhadlunch.Aftertheyleft，IgotintomyJeepandopenedthepaperbag.【范文必背】WhenIwasabouttosaygoodbye，thegirlaskedifI’dhadlunch.NotuntilthendidIhearmystomachrumbling（部分倒裝），Ishruggedawkwardly.Asmileofsympathyflickeringacrossherface，shesuddenlyturnedaroundanddartedtowardhertruck.Forsplitseconds，thegirlturnedupbreathlessly，apaperbagheldtightlyinherhand.“Hereyouare.Itwill...doyougood.”ShestammeredinbrokenEnglish，grinningmysteriously.Maybe，itwashertoyshedidn’tneedanylonger.Iwavedtothefamily，seeingthemwalkingacrossthestreethandinhand（現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)）.Aftertheyleft，IgotintomyJeepandopenedthepaperbag.Insightcameahamburgeranda20－dollarbill（完全倒裝），towhichanotewasattached（定語(yǔ)從句）.Itread，“Iboughtthemwithallmysavings.Goodluck.”Asifaboltoflightingstruckme，Igapedingratitudeandmeanwhilefeltastabofguiltformymisunderstandinghergoodwill.Ilookedoutofthewindoweagerlyonlytofindtheirtruckjustalongside.Whatacoincidence！Thelittlegirlreturnedmeasweetsmile，hertinklinglaughterfillingtheair.ItwasthefirsttimeIwasnotsickofmycartroublebutluckyforseeingabeautifulheart.一、抓住關(guān)鍵信息，構(gòu)思續(xù)寫框架1.兩段首句定一框：由第一段的首句WhenIwasabouttosaygoodbye，thegirlaskedifI’dhadlunch.和第二段的首句Aftertheyleft，IgotintomyJeepandopenedthepaperbag.再結(jié)合所給短文內(nèi)容，可以預(yù)測(cè)本段應(yīng)主要寫小女孩給“我”提供食物。2.二框二首正能量：第二段的首句Aftertheyleft，IgotintomyJeepandopenedthepaperbag.和根據(jù)文章應(yīng)是美好結(jié)局或正能量的結(jié)局的特點(diǎn)可以預(yù)測(cè)故事結(jié)局：作者認(rèn)識(shí)到人間的真善美。二、有效依據(jù)“五所”，豐富續(xù)寫情節(jié)寫“五所”（所見(jiàn)，所聞，所說(shuō)，所思，所做），并對(duì)此進(jìn)行設(shè)問(wèn)。設(shè)問(wèn)時(shí)要抓住段首句關(guān)鍵詞P1：WhenIwasabouttosaygoodbye，thegirlaskedifI’dhadlunch.Q1：Whatwasmyreply？（aboutlunch）DidIhavelunch？Q2：Whatdidthegirldo？（aboutthepaperbag）Q3：HowdidIfeel？Q4：Howdidtheyleft？（aftertheyleft）P2：Aftertheyleft，IgotintomyJeepandopenedthepaperbag.Q1：WhatdidIfindinthepaperbag？Q2：HowdidIfeel？Q3：HowdidIchangetheopiniontowardsstranger？Q4：Whatdoesthestoryintendtotellreaders？三、四個(gè)順暢呼應(yīng)，進(jìn)行有效銜接1.續(xù)寫首句與給出的首段首句的銜接NotuntilthendidIhearmystomachrumbling.（首句女孩問(wèn)是否吃午飯了，本句寫直到這時(shí)我聽(tīng)到肚子咕咕叫）2.續(xù)寫首段尾句與給出的次段首句的銜接Iwavedtothefamily，seeingthemwalkingacrossthestreethandinhand.（次段首句寫在他們離開(kāi)之后，本句寫與他們告別）3.給出的次段首句與續(xù)寫次段首句的銜接Insightcameahamburgeranda20－dollarbill，towhichanotewasattached.（次段首句寫作者打開(kāi)了包裹，本句接著寫看到里面有漢堡包和20美元）4.文章結(jié)尾升華與文章主題意義的銜接ItwasthefirsttimeIwasnotsickofmycartroublebutluckyforseeingabeautifulheart.（照應(yīng)第一段，突出主題：美麗的心靈）微技能三如何精細(xì)打磨續(xù)寫語(yǔ)言構(gòu)思好續(xù)寫情節(jié)以后，下一步就是進(jìn)行續(xù)寫。在閱卷時(shí)，閱卷老師首要關(guān)注的是續(xù)寫的語(yǔ)言，因此續(xù)寫語(yǔ)言的高低與否直接決定著續(xù)寫的成功與否。首先要規(guī)避常見(jiàn)錯(cuò)誤，確保拿到及格分，再次要盡力提升寫作的語(yǔ)言，努力達(dá)到最高檔。一、5大升級(jí)路徑，詞匯亮人一眼eq\a\vs4\al()升級(jí)路徑1：籠統(tǒng)詞→具體詞①Becauseofherhatred，shelookedathim.→Becauseofherhatred，sheglaredathim.②Theywalkedonwardswithexhaustedbodiesthroughthedesert.→Theytrudgedonwardswithexhaustedbodiesthroughthedesert.eq\a\vs4\al()升級(jí)路徑2：簡(jiǎn)單詞→高級(jí)詞①TheadvicetheoldmangaveTomwasveryimportant.→TheadvicetheoldmangaveTomwasverysignificant/vital/critical.②Ishouldbefreeanytimeafterschoolnextweek.→Ishouldbeavailableanytimeafterschoolnextweek.eq\a\vs4\al()升級(jí)路徑3：?jiǎn)卧~→短語(yǔ)①Hearingthebadnews，theboycriedsadly.→Hearingthebadnews，theboyburstintotearssadly.②Afteraday’swork，wealltired.→Afteraday’swork，weallwornout.eq\a\vs4\al()升級(jí)路徑4：運(yùn)用有表現(xiàn)力的副詞恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂酶挥斜憩F(xiàn)力的副詞，能夠使文章更加豐富多姿，描寫地更為準(zhǔn)確，文章更有生機(jī)。使用這些副詞時(shí)，要注意把握這些詞匯的確切內(nèi)涵，并且符合故事發(fā)展的內(nèi)在邏輯。①Thedaywasbitterlycold；themoonwasshiningbrightlyinthesky.②Havingnochoice，Islowlyraisedthebook，hopingtohidemyself.③Iwasquietly，joyfullyandpatientlywatchingasthesunpaintedabrand－newday.④Onourwaybackhome，myfatherheldmetightly，wearingabigfrown.eq\a\vs4\al()升級(jí)路徑5：運(yùn)用有表現(xiàn)力的介詞短語(yǔ)介詞with或in后加表示情緒、個(gè)性等的名詞，經(jīng)常可以與相應(yīng)的副詞互換，恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂么私Y(jié)構(gòu)可以增加表達(dá)的多樣性。①Shegazedupathim，glowinghappily.→Shegazedupathim，glowingwithhappiness.②Likealamp，themoonshonefromabove.Thestarstwinkledtheireyescuriously.→Likealamp，themoonshonefromabove.Thestarstwinkledtheireyeswithcuriosity.二、8大搶分句式，檔次瞬時(shí)提升eq\a\vs4\al()搶分句式1：Doing...，主＋謂……doing作狀語(yǔ)，邏輯主語(yǔ)與句子的主語(yǔ)一致，構(gòu)成主動(dòng)關(guān)系；有時(shí)可以在doing前加before，after，while等。①Hewastremblinginablanketandhesaid，“I’mcold.”→Tremblinginablanket，hesaid，“I’mcold.”②Isatbackinaneasychairandfellasleep.→Sittingbackinaneasychair，Ifellasleep.③WhenIsawnoonenoticingus，IputtheChristmaspresentdownandleft.→Seeingnoonenoticingus，IputtheChristmaspresentdownandleft.eq\a\vs4\al()搶分句式2：主＋謂……，doing...doing作伴隨狀語(yǔ)，與句子的謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞同時(shí)發(fā)生，邏輯主語(yǔ)與句子的主語(yǔ)一致，構(gòu)成主動(dòng)關(guān)系。①“Here，”hesaid.Atthesametimehehandedthecoinstothegatekeeper.→“Here，”hesaid，handingthecoinstothegatekeeper.②ForafewmomentsIjuststoodthere.Iheldthatten－dollarbillandIwonderedwhattobuyandwhotobuyitfor.→ForafewmomentsIjuststoodthere，holdingthatten－dollarbillandwonderingwhattobuyandwhotobuyitfor.eq\a\vs4\al()搶分句式3：獨(dú)立主格結(jié)構(gòu)·主語(yǔ)＋謂語(yǔ)……，邏輯主語(yǔ)＋doing/done...·邏輯主語(yǔ)＋doing/done，主語(yǔ)＋謂語(yǔ)……·邏輯主語(yǔ)與doing構(gòu)成主動(dòng)關(guān)系，或者邏輯主語(yǔ)與done構(gòu)成被動(dòng)關(guān)系構(gòu)成獨(dú)立主格，有時(shí)前面有介詞with，在句中常作狀語(yǔ)。①Hestoodthereandtearsofgratitudewerewellingupinhiseyes.→Hestoodthere，（with）tearsofgratitudewellingupinhiseyes.②Herfatherwaslyingonhisback，andhisdogwastrappedunderthetruck.→Herfatherwaslyingonhisback，（with）hisdogtrappedunderthetruck.eq\a\vs4\al()搶分句式4：表情感類的形容詞，主＋謂……或主＋謂……，表情感類的形容詞情感類的形容詞在句中作狀語(yǔ)，說(shuō)明主語(yǔ)的情感狀態(tài)，可以轉(zhuǎn)化為表情感類的形容詞，主＋謂……。有時(shí)可以放在句后：主＋謂……表情感類的形容詞。①Hewaseagerandexcited，andshewavedherhands，tryingtoattractothers’attention.→Eagerandexcited，shewavedherhands，tryingtoattractothers’attention.②ToAnnie’sdelight，surroundedbyhisclassmates，Markseemedlikearockstar，andhewascheerfulandproud.→ToAnnie’sdelight，surroundedbyhisclassmates，Markseemedlikearockstar，cheerfulandproud.eq\a\vs4\al()搶分句式5：方式副詞，主＋謂……方式副詞在句中作狀語(yǔ)，修飾謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞，一般放在賓語(yǔ)后，但有時(shí)根據(jù)需要可以放在句首，有時(shí)放在實(shí)義動(dòng)詞前。①Itwasfortunatethatthecatwasstillalive，thoughbadlyinjured.→Fortunately，thecatwasstillalive，thoughbadlyinjured.②Gently，shepickedupthefirstbaby，ranbackoutsideandlaiditonthesidewalk.eq\a\vs4\al()搶分句式6：全部倒裝：地點(diǎn)狀語(yǔ)或表示運(yùn)動(dòng)方向的副詞＋謂（vi.）＋主（名詞）該句型是一個(gè)全部倒裝句，主語(yǔ)必須是名詞，謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞為不及物動(dòng)詞，常見(jiàn)的表運(yùn)動(dòng)方向的副詞有：in，out，off，away，up，down，outside，inside等。①Anoldwomansatahead.→Aheadsatanoldwoman.②Thecrowdwentawayonebyone.→Awaywentthecrowdonebyone.eq\a\vs4\al()搶分句式7：強(qiáng)調(diào)句型：Itwas＋被強(qiáng)調(diào)成分＋that＋（主語(yǔ)）＋謂語(yǔ)……除了強(qiáng)調(diào)句型，在突出某一成分時(shí)，還可以用部分倒裝句型。Heknewwhathadhappenedthen.→Itwasthenthatheknewwhathadhappened.→Onlythendidheknowwhathadhappened.→Notuntilthendidheknowwhathadhappened.搶分句式8:非限制性定語(yǔ)從句：...，which...We’llalsospendsomefuntimetogether,singing,dancingandplayinggames.Wehopeitwillmakethemhappy.→We’llalsospendsomefuntimetogether,singing,dancingandplayinggames，whichwehopewillmakethemhappy.【即時(shí)訓(xùn)練】Ⅰ.請(qǐng)用高級(jí)詞匯升級(jí)下面考生作文中加黑的一般詞匯Dad__opened__the__box__and__a__sweet__little__dog__appeared．Surprised，Poppyjumpedbackwards，withherbackarchedandtailwagging.Then，shebarkedwithjoy，eyesfixedonthecutelittlecompanion.Notfeelingshy，thelittledogjumpedforwardtogreetPoppy.Immediately，bothdogsbeganagameofchaseinthehouse.Instantlythehousecamebacktolife，withhappybarkinglingeringaroundit.Suchascenemademomanddadlaughinrelief.Butatonce，bothofthemdidn’tspeak.Asmemoriesoftheirsoncametomind，theyfeltadeeplongingfortheirson.A__few__weeks__later__the__boy__arrived__home__from__university．Poppywelcomedhimasusual.AshemissedPoppysomuchandwaslookingforwardtoseeingher，hebentdowntohugher.Suddenly，asmallgoldenpuppycameuptoher.Hewasverysurprisedtoseeastrangecreatureathome.“Oh，mygosh，Ican’tbelievethatyougotyourselfapuppy.”theboyshouted.Noticinghisshockedface，hisparentslaughed.“ThispuppyisforPoppy，”hismomanswered，“Sometimes，we’vefoundPuppyareplacementforyou.However，tous，youareirreplaceable，Sweetie.”Touchedbyhismother’swords，theboytriedtoholdbackhistearsanddecidedtocomebacktoseehisparentsasoftenaspossible.①Surprised→Amazed②jumped→leapt③Immediately→In__a__flash④happy→joyful⑤didn’tspeak→went__silent⑥cametomind→crowded__in⑦Suddenly→All__of__a__sudden⑧verysurprised→shocked⑨shouted→exclaimed⑩answered→replied?tried→struggled?decided→was__determinedⅡ.請(qǐng)用高級(jí)句式升級(jí)下面考生作文中加黑的一般句式Dad__opened__the__box__and__a__sweet__little__dog__appeared．①Poppyjumpedwithjoyatthesightofthelittledog.Sheloweredherheadtowatchitcuriously.Thenshebecamesoexcitedthatsheaccidentallyknockedovertheboxinanattempttogetcloser.②Theboxwastippedoverandoutcamethelittleone，whowasnotshyandinstantlygotfamiliarwithPoppy.③Itdidn’ttakelongbeforethetwoplayedaroundthehouseandcheerfullyranaftereachother.A__few__weeks__later，the__boy__arrived__home__from__the__university．④Hehadbeenmissinghisparentsandthedogsinceitwasthefirsttimethathehadbeenawayfromhomeforsuchalongtime.⑤WhentheboycaughtsightofPoppy，hewentrushingtowardthedogandhebentdowntogiveherabighug.Suddenly，theboynoticedthelittledog.“Ohmygod，whoisthis？”Hisparentslaughedatthelookofsurpriseonhisface.“It’sPoppy’snewcompanion.”saidMom.1．用非謂語(yǔ)結(jié)構(gòu)作時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)升級(jí)句①Noticing__the__little__dog,__Poppy__jumped__with__joy.2．用with復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)升級(jí)句②With__the__box__tipped__over,__out__came__the__little__one,__who__was__not__shy__and__instantly__got__familiar__with__Poppy.3．用非謂語(yǔ)結(jié)構(gòu)作伴隨狀語(yǔ)升級(jí)句③It__didn’t__take__long__before__the__two__played__around__the__house,__cheerfully__running__after__each__other.4．用強(qiáng)調(diào)結(jié)構(gòu)強(qiáng)調(diào)主句賓語(yǔ)升級(jí)句④It__was__his__parents__and__the__dog__that__he__had__been__missing__since__it__was__the__first__time__that__he__had__been__away__from__home__for__such__a__long__time.5．用省略結(jié)構(gòu)升級(jí)句⑤When__catching__sight__of__Poppy,__he__went__rushing__toward__the__dog__and__bent__down__to__give__her__a__big__hug.微技能四如何豐富細(xì)節(jié)描寫讀后續(xù)寫試題都是要求考生續(xù)寫人物經(jīng)歷，補(bǔ)充故事情節(jié)。考生答題中存在的典型問(wèn)題為續(xù)寫內(nèi)容欠豐滿、語(yǔ)言表達(dá)欠生動(dòng)等。其中一個(gè)重要原因就是，考生不會(huì)根據(jù)文章主題和故事發(fā)展的需要生動(dòng)、細(xì)致地描寫主要人物的動(dòng)作和心理，導(dǎo)致續(xù)寫文章情節(jié)失真、內(nèi)容平淡、人物蒼白、語(yǔ)言空洞。那么，續(xù)寫該如何寫呢？我們應(yīng)該用展示而非講述的描寫方式。通過(guò)具體細(xì)節(jié)描寫，生動(dòng)形象地刻畫人物和事件。Ⅰ.講述(tell)VS展示(show)講述(tell)一般來(lái)說(shuō)是對(duì)事件寬泛的、抽象的總結(jié)，作者直接告訴讀者所描述的對(duì)象展示(show)通過(guò)對(duì)人物動(dòng)作、語(yǔ)言、想法、感覺(jué)以及自然風(fēng)景、場(chǎng)面氣氛等細(xì)小環(huán)節(jié)或情節(jié)的描寫【典例】謝爾頓非常生氣。講述：Sheldonfeltveryangry.展示：①Sheldonfeltsoangrythathestormedoutoftheroom,slamming(砰地關(guān)上)thedoorfuriouslybehindhim.(沖出房間；狠狠摔門)②Filledwithanger(狂怒),Sheldonwasunabletoutterasingleword.(充滿憤怒；說(shuō)不出話)③Boilingwithrage(憤怒),Sheldonshookhisfistatme.(怒火中燒；揮舞拳頭)Ⅱ.概括表達(dá)VS細(xì)節(jié)描寫一、動(dòng)作和神情描寫1．精選動(dòng)詞，刻畫具體的動(dòng)作。例：看到直升機(jī)，簡(jiǎn)非常高興。概括表達(dá)：Seeingthehelicopter,Janebecameveryhappy.細(xì)節(jié)描寫：①Atthesightofthehelicopter,Janebeamedwithwildjoy.②Themomentshecaughtsightofthehelicopter,Jane’seyes/facelitupwithdelight.③Instantlyshecaughtsightofthehelicopter,abrightsmilelitupJane’sface/eyes.2．添加修飾成分，做到生動(dòng)描寫(1)可以添加介詞短語(yǔ)或者副詞來(lái)修飾動(dòng)詞。①with＋情感名詞withdelight/excitement/pleasure/happiness/joy/satisfaction/anger/rage/patience/fear/terror/embarrassment/pride/caution/care/patience/certainty等例：Hereyesshonewithexcitement.她的眼睛中閃爍著興奮的光芒。②with＋身體部位withitshungryredeyes/itssharpteeth/hershakyhand/herpalelips等例：TheferociouswolfstaredatMacwithitshungryredeyes.此處用withitshungryredeyes來(lái)修飾動(dòng)作stare，使狼兇狠的形象更加豐滿。③in＋名詞insurprise/amazement/shock/sorrow傷心inahigh/low/sweet/loud/soft/weakvoice用……的嗓音例：Hegazedatmeinsurprise.他吃驚地注視著我。④副詞suddenly/immediately/instantly/rapidly/firmly/slowly/angrily/happily/excitedly等例：Hecarefullyjumpedoverthebrokenglasses.他小心翼翼地跳過(guò)碎玻璃碴兒。Carefully，hejumpedoverthebrokenglasses.小心翼翼地，他跳過(guò)了碎玻璃碴兒。(2)運(yùn)用合適的修辭手法。在動(dòng)作描寫中也可以運(yùn)用明喻、暗喻、擬人、夸張等寫作手法，讓你的寫作更加生動(dòng)傳神。例1：ShehowledlongandloudlikeaferociouswolfandthenjumpedatBuck.此句把她比作兇殘的惡狼，用到了明喻的寫作手法，使整句的動(dòng)作描寫更有力度，更有畫面感。例2：Shewenthomeinafloodoftears.此處在動(dòng)作描寫中添加了inafloodoftears夸張描寫，生動(dòng)傳神地體現(xiàn)了她當(dāng)時(shí)的情感狀態(tài)。3．分解細(xì)化動(dòng)作，構(gòu)建動(dòng)作鏈學(xué)生要學(xué)會(huì)分解動(dòng)作，形成一個(gè)完整的動(dòng)作鏈，讓描寫更加豐富生動(dòng)。(1)如何構(gòu)建動(dòng)作鏈。寫記敘文就像是拍電影，所有場(chǎng)景都像畫面一樣，一幀一幀地呈現(xiàn)出來(lái)。如：“上車”這一動(dòng)作。很多同學(xué)不知道該如何刻畫細(xì)節(jié)，只能把動(dòng)作寫得非常單一，比如就是：getintothecar或者是getonthecar.但是實(shí)際上，我們可以把這個(gè)動(dòng)作按時(shí)間軸的順序設(shè)計(jì)出，“攔車→上車→告訴司機(jī)目的地”三個(gè)步驟來(lái)寫。例：Shestoppedataxi,gotintoitandtoldthedriverherdestination.(2)動(dòng)作鏈的表達(dá)可用并列謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞來(lái)體現(xiàn)，即AandB或者A,BandC。例：Hereacheddeepintohispocket,pulledoutahandfulofchange,andheldituptothefarmer.他把手伸進(jìn)口袋深處，拿出一把零錢，然后拿到農(nóng)夫面前。(3)動(dòng)作鏈的表達(dá)可用非謂語(yǔ)來(lái)體現(xiàn)。例1：Lookingupatthefarmer,theboysaid,“Thankyou.”男孩抬頭看著農(nóng)夫說(shuō)：“謝謝你。”例2：Thedogawkwardlywobbledtowardstheothers,doingitsbesttocatchup.那只小狗苯拙地?fù)u晃著走向其他人，用盡全力追趕。(4)動(dòng)作鏈的表達(dá)可用狀語(yǔ)從句，如when，while，as，before，after引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句來(lái)體現(xiàn)。例1：WhenIarrivedthere,Iwalkedtothedoorandknocked.我到那里后，走到門前，敲了敲門。例2：AsIwaitedatthestop,Iheardabignoise.在車站等車時(shí)，我聽(tīng)到了巨大的噪聲。(5)動(dòng)作鏈可以和情感，環(huán)境，心理，語(yǔ)言等結(jié)合，形成動(dòng)作面。例：Burningwithanger,heglaredatmewithhisbigfrighteningeyes,yelling,“You’resuchanidiot.”此處的burningwithanger是情感描寫，glare和yell是動(dòng)作鏈，同時(shí)將動(dòng)作和語(yǔ)言描寫結(jié)合在了一起，形成了飽滿的動(dòng)作面，屬于高分表達(dá)。二、心理描寫用外在動(dòng)作和表情展示人物心理。他很失望。概括表達(dá)：Hefelthopeless/desperate.細(xì)節(jié)描寫：①Uponhearingthebadnew,hewassuddenlythrownintoaworldofdarknessandsankintohopelessness.聽(tīng)到這個(gè)壞消息，他突然被投入黑暗世界，陷入絕望。②Hisbeliefsinlookingforwardandseeingthepositiveineverythingdesertedhim.他那種向前看、看到一切事物積極一面的信念拋棄了他。三、外貌性格描寫運(yùn)用多種句式進(jìn)行外貌和性格描寫。1．外貌描寫例1：她圓圓的臉上有一雙藍(lán)色的眼睛，還有兩個(gè)可愛(ài)的酒窩。①Onherroundfaceareapairofblueeyesandlovelydimples.(倒裝句型)②Sheisagirlwithapairofblueeyesandlovelydimplesonherroundface.(with引導(dǎo)的介賓結(jié)構(gòu)作后置定語(yǔ)，補(bǔ)充說(shuō)明人物信息)例2：李老師三十多歲，身材適中，常梳著馬尾辮。①M(fèi)issLiisinherthirtieswithamediumbuildandhasherhairinaponytail.(由and連接的并列句；with短語(yǔ)用作狀語(yǔ)，表示伴隨狀態(tài))②MissLiisamedium－sizedwomaninherthirtieswhooftenwears/tiesherhairinaponytail.(定語(yǔ)從句補(bǔ)充介紹人物特征)③MissLi,inherthirties,isofmediumsize,andoftenhasherhairtiedinaponytail.(“beof＋adj.＋n.”結(jié)構(gòu)表示人或物具有某種特征。常用的名詞有：size,height,weight,build,age,shape等)2．性格描寫例1：SuchisMs.Han,aneasygoing,kindandwarm－h(huán)eartedwoman.韓老師是一個(gè)隨和善良又熱心腸的女人。例2：Thoughhecomesfromapoorfamily,heisapersonofgreatdeterminationandcourage.他雖出身貧寒，但擁有堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的意志和勇氣。四、對(duì)話描寫對(duì)話描寫的3種表現(xiàn)形式。1．提示語(yǔ)在前例：Afewminuteslater,shesaid,“Grandmother,Iamfinishednow.”2．提示語(yǔ)在后例：“HereisSusan！”thegirlscried.3．提示語(yǔ)在中間例：“I’dliketogowithyou，”repliedSusan,“butIcannotfinishthetaskgrandmothersetmetodo.”五、環(huán)境描寫環(huán)境描寫，不僅可以揭示故事發(fā)生的背景，還可以渲染氣氛、襯托人物的內(nèi)心世界。適當(dāng)?shù)沫h(huán)境描寫可以讓文章讀起來(lái)有立體感和真實(shí)感。例1：Summerseesthemountainsturnbrightgreenwithgrowingrice.Duringautumn,thesesamemountainsareflashgold,andinwintertheyarecoveredinsheetsofwhitefrost.夏天，水稻生長(zhǎng)群山綠意盎然。秋天漫山鋪金，冬天銀裝素裹。例2：Alittlewayoffwasalittlebrook,rushingandsparklingalongbetweengreenbanks.不遠(yuǎn)處有一條小溪，在綠色的兩岸之間奔流不息，波光粼粼。【即時(shí)訓(xùn)練】Ⅰ.根據(jù)提示用英語(yǔ)寫出動(dòng)作鏈1．情節(jié)前提：看到失散的兒子，一把抱住。以“抱住”為關(guān)鍵詞寫出動(dòng)作鏈。(1)設(shè)計(jì)動(dòng)作鏈：沖上前→蹲下來(lái)→一把抱住(2)用并列謂語(yǔ)：She__dashed__forward,__knelt__down__and__gather__her__son__into__her__arm.2．情節(jié)前提：“做飯”。(1)設(shè)計(jì)動(dòng)作鏈：打開(kāi)冰箱→拿出食物→做飯(2)用并列謂語(yǔ)：She__opened__the__fridge,__took__out__the__food__she__needed__and__started__to__cook.3．情節(jié)前提：她獲獎(jiǎng)，要發(fā)言。以“發(fā)言”為關(guān)鍵詞寫出動(dòng)作鏈。(1)設(shè)計(jì)動(dòng)作鏈：看了眼獎(jiǎng)杯→深吸一口氣→說(shuō)到……(2)用并列謂語(yǔ)：She__glanced__at__the__trophy,__took__a__deep__breath__and__said，“...”(3)用非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞：She__glanced__at__the__trophy,__taking__a__deep__breath__and__saying，“...”Ⅱ.運(yùn)用細(xì)節(jié)描寫，完成下列句子1．Thesmileonherfaceshone__like__a__diamond．她臉上的笑容像鉆石一樣閃閃發(fā)光。2．Sheslipped__out__of__bedandtiptoed__to__the__window．她溜下床，踮起腳尖走向窗戶。3．Shefroze__with__shock,__asifrootedtothespot.她吃驚得呆住了，就像在原地生了根似的。4．Hereyeswidened__furtherandhismouthopened.她的眼睛睜得更大了，他的嘴張開(kāi)了。5．Itwasbeginningtosnow,andsnowflakeswere__blinding__my__eyes．天開(kāi)始下雪了，雪花讓我看不清了。6．Adenseearthlysweetsmellrosefromtheground，enveloping__everything__within__its__soft__embrace．一股濃郁的泥土般的香味從地上升起，把一切都包裹在它柔軟的懷抱里。7．Afterheknewwhattheproblemwas，his__mind__began__to__race,__trying__to__think__of__a__good__solution．得知問(wèn)題所在之后，他的大腦開(kāi)始急速運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)，想要想出一個(gè)好的解決方案。8．Takingadeepbreath,Imanagedtocalm__myself__down__and__walked__up__to__the__platform__confidently．深吸一口氣，我成功地讓自己鎮(zhèn)定，然后自信地走上了講臺(tái)。A(2021·湖北八校第二次聯(lián)考)閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。ThestoryofmynewfamilymemberWefoundalonelydogafewweeksago,walkingalongtheroadinthecountryside.Allofasudden,hewasjumpingoncars,andatthesametimewethoughtmaybehisfamilywascampingsomewhereintheneighboringareas.Asaconsequencewepassedbyhimwithouthesitation.Afewhourslater,onourreturntrip,hewasstillinthesameplace,againandagain，makinganattempttogetpeopletostopforhim.Whenhecaughtsightofusapproaching,helaydowninthemiddleoftheroad，sowefailedtogetaroundhim.Myfatherbrakedhard,pulledupandlookedaroundforafewminutes,tryingtofigureoutwhethertherewasanyonearoundfromwhomhehadbeenseparated.Aftergettingoffthecar,wecheckedthedogcarefully.Itdidn’tappearso.Thenwetookagoodlookatthepoorbutcutedog.Hegazedatuseagerlywithgloomyeyes.Wecircledaroundhimintotalsilence.Wehadanoverwhelmingdesiretofindoutwhatwaswrongwithhim.Unfortunately,wecouldn’tfindanyclues.Hehadnocollarandhewasreallytoothin.Eventuallywedecidedthathehadbeenabandoned.Weshowedgreatsympathyforthepoordog.Howhelplesshewasonsuchanoccasion！Hewashomelessandhehadnoonetorelyon.Onseeingthescene,wecouldn’thelpbeggingmyparentstoraisehim.Mymotheragreedexcitedly,“Ilovethislovelydog.Howpoorheis!Itishightimethatweshouldbringhimhome.”Shestaredatthedogwithtearswellingupinhereyes.Weknewmymotherwaswillingtoadoptthedogbecauseshewassosweetandsheloveddogsverymuch.Myfatherthoughtitwasdangeroustoraiseadogduetothefactthatweweretooyoung.注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。Myfathersaidfirmly,“Ifhedoesn’tbitemewhenItrytopickhimuptoputhiminthecar,thenwehaveanewdog.”Wetookhimtothevet(獸醫(yī)),whosaidthedogappearedtobeingoodhealth.【寫作思路】本文講述了作者一家在鄉(xiāng)下散步的時(shí)候看到了一條被遺棄的狗。它可愛(ài)聰明，卻十分瘦，作者一家對(duì)是否收養(yǎng)它展開(kāi)了討論。進(jìn)行續(xù)寫時(shí)，要通過(guò)分析所給的提示句，構(gòu)思好要續(xù)寫的情節(jié)。根據(jù)續(xù)寫部分的第二段的提示句可知，續(xù)寫的第一段應(yīng)該會(huì)講述這只狗加入作者家和作者一家對(duì)它的照顧；從作者一家?guī)タ传F醫(yī)并聯(lián)系原文說(shuō)它很瘦可知，本段應(yīng)該會(huì)講到它還是很瘦。續(xù)寫的第二段：段首句講到獸醫(yī)說(shuō)這只狗很健康，可見(jiàn)此段續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容應(yīng)該聚焦于作者一家得知此信息后的激動(dòng)心情并描述他們與這只狗的相處過(guò)程。【參考范文】My__father__said__firmly,__“If__he__doesn’t__bite__me__when__I__try__to__pick__him__up__to__put__him__in__the__car,__then__we__have__a__new__dog.”Thedoghappilyjoineduswithnofightatall,andtheonlythingwewereindangerofwasgettinglicked.Hekeptstickinghisheadbetweenthetwofrontseatsandthankedusforpickinghimup.Thedoghadclearlybeenontheroadforsometime,andhewasreallytoothin.Sowefedhimalotoverthecourseofthenexttwoweeksstrivingtolookafterhimwiththehopethathewouldgetstronger(同位語(yǔ)從句)．Unfortunately,alloureffortswereinvain.Hewasstillverythin.We__took__him__to__the__vet__(獸醫(yī)),__who__said__the__dog__appeared__to__be__in__good__health.Thevetguessedthedogwasabouttwoyearsold.Hegavethedogalltherequiredshotsandweleft.“Amazing!Thedogishealthy.”Mymothersaidinanexcitedvoice.Sothrilledwerewethatweheadedhomeimmediately(部分倒裝)．Wedidloveournewfamilymember.Thedogwasasweetcompaniontoourfamily,whowasaquicklearnerandknewhowtorespondtodifferentinstructions.Welearnedalessonfromtheexperiencethatkindnessandsympathywouldmakeabigdifferencetoourlife.B(2021·濰坊市高三統(tǒng)一考試)閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。AnhonestmistakeKariedouble－checkedthewordsonherspellingtest.Ifshegot100percentrighttoday,she’dwinherclass’sFirst－QuarterSpellingChallenge