1、WORD格式1. Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes andseemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you shou

2、ld make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next""兩個獵人進森林里打獵， 其中一個獵人不慎跌倒， 兩眼翻白，似已停頓呼吸。另一個獵人趕緊拿出手機撥通緊急求助。接線員沉著地說： “第一步，要先確定你的朋友已經死亡。 于是，接線員在里聽到一聲槍響，然后聽到那獵人接著問： “第二步怎辦

3、？ 2.Let me take it downAn elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen .""Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."為我所用一頭大象對一只小老鼠說： “你無疑是我見過的最小、最沒用的東西。 “請再說一

4、遍，讓我把它記下來。 老鼠說。 “我要講給我認識的一只跳蚤聽。3.Watering Flower In RainTom:Why doyou have that watering can"Dan:I'm going to water the flowers.Tom:But it'd raining.Dan:That's OK.I'm wear-ing my raincoat.雨天澆花湯姆：你拿噴壺做什么？丹：我要去澆花。湯姆：可是，在下雨呀！丹：沒關系，我穿著雨衣呢！4. Two birlsTeacher: Here are two birds, one

5、 is a swallow, the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which"Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.專業資料整理WORD格式兩只鳥專業資料整理WORD格式教師： 這兒有兩只鳥， 一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子， 哪只是麻雀嗎？學生：我指不

6、出，但我知道答案。教師：請說說看。學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。5、 he Fish Net"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann"""A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the littlegirl.魚網"你能告訴我魚網是什么做的嗎，安？" 教師發問道。"把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。" 小女孩答復道。6、The New TeacherGeorge c

7、omes from school on the first of September."George, how did you like your new teacher"" asked his mother."I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and threewere six and then she said that two and four were six too."新教師9 月 1 日， 喬治放學回到家里。"喬治，你喜歡你們的新教師嗎？&

8、quot; 媽媽問。"媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3 加 3 得 6, 可后來又說 2 加 4 也得 6。"7、 A physics Examination專業資料整理WORD格式Oncein a physicsexamination,Nickfinishedthefirstquestion專業資料整理WORD格式very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear t

9、he thunderrolls"Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.一次物理考試在一次物理考試時， 當同學們都還在苦思冥想時， 尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。這個問題是：為什么在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲？尼克的答復是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在后。專業資料整理WORD格式8.Too Fast or Too SlowA man was driving at 130 miles an hour when a policeman overtook him."Was I driving too fast,off

10、icer""the man asked."NO,"the policeman answered,"You were flying too slow."太慢或太快一個男人正在以 130 英里每小時的速度行駛，當一個警觀察見他時，他問： “我開的太快了嗎？警官。 “不，警察說， “你飛的太慢了。 9.Good BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday"&quo

11、t;"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman"""She is the one who sells the candy."好孩子小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。“昨天給你的錢干什么了？“我給了一個可憐的老太婆， 他答復說。

12、“你真是個好孩子， 媽媽驕傲地說。 “再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？ “她是個賣糖果的。 10.Nest and HairMy sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird"" my sister asked."I didn't see the bird, ma'

13、 am, only the nest," replied the child."Then, can you give us a description of the nest"" my sister encouraged her ."Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "Notes:(1) inform v.告訴(2) nest n.窩；巢(3) description n.描述(4) encourage v鼓.勵專業資料整理WORD格式(5) resemble v. 相似；類似

14、鳥窩與頭發我姐姐是一位小學教師。一次一個學生告訴她說一只鳥兒在教室外 的樹上壘了個窩。“是什么鳥呢？ 我姐姐問她。“我沒看到鳥兒，教師，只看到鳥窩。那孩子答復說。“那么，你能給我們描述一下這個鳥巢嗎？我姐姐鼓勵她道。“哦，教師，就像你的頭發一樣。11.He WonTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny" Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen"Johnny: We played who coul

15、d lean furthest out of the window, and he won.他贏了湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？約翰尼：他害病臥床了。他受了傷。湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。12.I Have His Ear in My PocketIvan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened"""A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize

16、 him if you saw him again"" asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."他的耳朵在我衣兜里伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問， “發生了什么事？ “一個男孩咬了我一口， 伊凡說。“再見到他你能認出來嗎？ 媽媽問。“他走到哪里我都能認出他，伊凡說。 “他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。13.DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were goin

17、g home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad"" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two

18、 policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"專業資料整理WORD格式醉酒一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。 這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，,醉"字是什么意思？唔“，孩子， 父親答復說， “你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。 可“是，爸爸， 孩子說， “那兒只有一個警察呀！ 14.Teacher:Why are

19、 you late for school every morning"Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".教師 : 為什么你每天早晨都遲到"湯姆 : 每當我經過學校的拐角處,僦看見一個牌子仩寫著 " 學校 - 慢行 ".15專業資料整理WORD格式“ I'm sorry，Madam，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for專業資料整理WORD格式pulling your boy

20、's tooth .專業資料整理WORD格式“ Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged onlyfour dollars for such work!“ Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four otherpatients out of theoffice .“對不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20 美元。 “ 20美元！為什么？不是說好只要 4 美元。 “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。 16.I&#

21、39;ve Just Bitten My Tongue"Are we poisonous"" the young snake asked his mother."Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask"""Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "Notes:(1) poisonous adj.有毒的(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因為我剛咬了自己的舌頭。 句中 Ca

22、use 是 Because 的縮略形式。我剛咬破自己的舌頭“我們有毒嗎？ 一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。“是的，親愛的， 她答復說， “你問這個干什么？ “因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。 專業資料整理WORD格式17.A Woman Who FellIt was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her foo

23、ting on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet""摔倒的女人上下班頂峰期， 我匆匆奔向紐約豪

24、華中心站去趕一趟火車。 接近門口，一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過來，沒想到在平滑的*石地面上失了腳，仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。 我正準備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來。她鎮定了一下，對我擠了一下眉，說道： “總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎？ 18.Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea"A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.猴子會和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能會直接的想到它們倆是一大一小。 但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以長跳蚤，

25、 而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。 這個答案很有意思吧？19. Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world"A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.因為 snail 蝸牛的后背上總是背著一所房子 ，所以說蝸牛是世界上最強壯的生物是缺乏為奇的。你說呢？20.Q: What do people do in a clock factory"A: They make faces all day.一看到 make faces這個短語，你可千萬別以為是在鐘表廠工作的人整天都做鬼臉呀！因為除

26、了這個意思以外，它還可以從字面上解釋為制造鐘面。21.Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep"A: Keep him awake.怎樣才能不讓夢游者 sleepwalker夢游 walk in his sleep呢？最簡單的方法就是不讓他睡覺。 雖然這不是治療方法， 但如果讓夢游者醒著呢， 他確實就不會去夢游了。專業資料整理WORD格式22.He is really somebody- My uncle has 1000 men under him.- He is really somebody. What

27、 does he do"- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一個大人物- 我叔叔下面有 1000 個人。- 他真是一個大人物。干什么的？- 墓地守墓人。23.Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, th

28、e clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, andtrust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."它們是從美國直接帶來的一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久， 到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元

29、。在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認真檢查了每一X鈔票，看是否有假。這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。24.my little dog can't readMrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.我的狗不識字布朗夫人：哦，親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。專業資料整理WORD格式25.Bring me the winner- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a figh