成長類讀后續寫

寫作指導延時符個人成長克服困難人與自我growthloopmeetdifficultiessucceedandreflectmakeeffortsandprogressthethemeofthetopic?withefforts,onecanovercomedifficultiesandgaingrowth.

24年浙江1月

Evaspentthefirstweekofhighschooltryingtokeepherheadabovewater.Oneofthemajorheadachesforherwasfindingherwayinthehugeschoolbuilding.Itwasasix-storybuilding.Oneachfloor,hallwaysstretchedinfourdirections,leadingtoclassrooms,laboratories,andteachers'offices.Somewhereinthebuilding,therewasalsoalibrary,acafeteria,andagym.Havingapoorsenseofdirection,Evafounditimpossibletogetaroundinsuchahugebuilding.Allthedifferenthallwaysandroomsweretoomuchtothinkabout,letalonecommittomemory.Shedecidedthatshewouldmemorizewhereherclasseswereandthenpretendthattherestoftheplacedidn'texist.InherfirstPEclass,EvawasshockedwhenCoachPittannouncedthateveryonehadtorunonemilearoundthetrackoutside.Shesearchedthefacesofherclassmatesforsignsofpanic.Therewasnothingshefearedmorethanhavingtorunawholemile.ToEva,“amile”wasusedtodescribelongdistances.Itwastenmilesfromherhometohergrandfather's,andthatalwaysseemedlikealongway,eveninacar!

WhenCoachPittblewhiswhistle(哨子),Evafiguredshewouldbeleftinthedust.However,whilesomeofherclassmatesedgedahead,othersactuallyfellbehind.“It’sjustthebeginning,"shethought.“I'llcomeinlastforsure.”SoonEvabegantobreathehard,withherheartpoundingandlegsshaking.Feelingdesperate,Evastartedusingamindtrickonherself.Shestoppedthinkingabouttheword“mile.”Instead,shefocusedonreactingtheshadowcastonthetrackbyanoaktreeupahead.Thensheconcentratedonjoggingtothespotwherethetrackcurved(拐彎).Afterthat,shetriedtoseeifshecouldcompleteherfirstlap.Onelapturnedintotwo,thenthree,thenfour.para1:WhenCoachPittsaid“Nicework!”toheratthefinishingline,Evawassurprised.para2:Evadecidedtousethesametricktodealwiththeschoolbuilding.ImprovelanguageexpressionDesignplots(questions)21添加標題3Analyzetext(fiveelements)FiveelementsOnedifficultyAnotherdifficultywhen

where

who

what

whyinP.E.classontherunningtrackEvafinishedonemileraceusingmindtrickonemilewasaverylongdistanceforherthefirstweekofhighschoolinschoolbuildingEvafounditimpossibletogetaroundinsuchahugebuilding.hadapoorsenseofdirectionanalyzethetextPara1:WhenCoachPittsaid“Nicework!”toheratthefinishingline,Evawassurprised.(與首句銜接)(情節推動1)(情節推動2)

(與第二段句首銜接)Para2:

Evadecidedtousethesametricktodealwiththeschoolbuilding.(與首句銜接)(情節推動1)(情節推動2)(升華主題)

analyzethetwosentenceswhatisthetrick?readthetextagainandfindouttheanswer:

Shestoppedthinkingabouttheword“mile.”Instead,shefocusedonreachingtheshadowcastonthetrackbyanoaktreeupahead.Thensheconcentratedonjoggingtothespotwherethetrackcurved(拐彎).onedividechallengingtaskintosmallpartscanmakethingseasier.Stopthinkinghowdifficulttheproblemsis,instead,focusonsmallpartoftheproblemandsolveoneatatime.themindtrickis?Para1:WhenCoachPittsaid“Nicework!”toheratthefinishingline,Evawas

surprised.(與首句銜接)Whatwouldbeherreaction?

(情節推動1)Whatdidsheachieve?(情節推動2)Whatwouldsherealize?

(與第二段句首銜接)Whydidshedecidetousethetrick?Para2:

Evadecidedtouse

thesametricktodealwiththeschoolbuilding.(與首句銜接)Howtousethetrickagain?(情節推動1)Whateffortswouldshemake?(情節推動2)Whatprogresswouldshemake?(升華主題)Whatisthetheme?

1234Designplots(askquestions)meetdifficultiessucceedandreflectmakeeffortsandprogress1.Shelookedaround,shefoundherselfamongthetoprunners.

2.Shefeltexcited,shejumpedintotheairandcheered,OhMyGod!Ican’tbelieveit!,3.Itwasthefirsttimethatshehadfinishedaone-milerace4.Shereflectedonhersuccess,sherealizedthatmindtrickhelpedherfinishtheone-milerace.5.breakingdownchallengingtaskintosmallpartscanmakethingseasier.6.Shefeltthepowerofmindtrick.7.Shewasinspiredbytheresult,Sherealizedthatthemindtrickmighthelptodealwithherpoorsenseofdirection.動作+動作possibleanswersParagraph11.shebrokedownthebuildingintosmallerparts,createdamapofthebuilding.2.Shestoppedthinkingthehugebuilding.Shefocusedonexploringthebuildingonepartatatimeandmarkedimportantlocationsonthemap.3.thebuildingwashugeandcomplicated,itbecameeasiertomemorizetheroutesinthisway4.Themapbecamemoredetailed,shebecamemorefamiliarwiththebuilding.5.Shewasexcited,themindtrickworkedagain.6.Findingherwayinthebuildingwasveryeasyforher.7.Thisexperienceremindedherthatwithgreateffortsandacorretmindtrickonecouldovercomedifficultiesinlife動作+動作possibleanswersParagraph2rewritesentences21Improvelanguageexpressionrewritevocabularies6.Findingherwayinthebuildingwasveryeasyforher.7.Thisexperienceremindedherthatwithgreateffortsandacorretmindtrick,onecanovercomedifficultiesinlife動作+動作rewritevocabulariesservedasareminderapieceofcakeTohishorror,heheardsomesoundindarkness.Scared,heranaway.Heranawayscaredly.Heranawaywithfear.Soscaredwashethatheranaway.rewritethesentences(1)combineactionandemotion

Para1(2).shewasoverjoyed,shejumpedintoairandcheered,OhMyGod!Ican’tbelieveit!（形容詞作狀語）Para1(7).shewasinspiredbytheresult,Sherealziedthatthemindtrickmighthelptodealwithherpoorsenseofdirection.（形容詞作狀語）動作+動作rewritethesentencesoverjoyed,shejumpedintoairandcheeredandshesaid,“OhMyGod!Ican’tbelieveit!”

Inspired

bytheresult,sherealziedthatthemindtrickmighthelptodealwithherpoorsenseofdirection.

Para(2)5.shefeltexcited,themindtrickworkedagain.動作+動作combineactionandemotionToherexcitement,

themindtrickworkedagain.

從時間關系上來看連續動作：他抬起頭，看著他媽媽，咧嘴笑了。Heraisedhishead,lookedathismotherandgrinnedfromeartoear.同時發生的動作：看著他媽媽，他咧嘴笑了.Lookingathismother,hegrinnedfromeartoear.他媽媽回來了，他咧嘴笑了。Withhismothercomingback,hegrinnedfromeartoear.先后發生的動作：看到他媽媽了，他咧嘴笑了.Havingseenhismother,hegrinnedfromeartoear.(2)combineactionandactionpara1(1).shelookedaround,shefoundherselfamongthetoprunners.(同時發生)para1(4)shereflectedonhersuccess,sherealizedthatmindtrickhelpedherfinishtheone-milerace.(先后關系)動作+動作rewritethesentencesLookingaround,shefoundherselfamongthetoprunners.Havingreflectedonhersuccess,sherealizedthatmindtrickhelpedherfinishtheone-milerace.

para2(1).Shebrokedownthebuildingintosmallerparts,createdamapofthebuilding.(連續動作)para2(4)

themapbecamemoredetailed,shebecamemorefamiliarwiththebuilding.(同時發生)動作+動作combineactionandactionShebrokedownthebuildingintosmallerpartsandcreatedamapofthebuilding.Withthemapbecomingmoredetailed,shebecamemorefamiliarwiththebuilding.

邏輯關系上來看因果：知道他媽媽回來了，他咧嘴笑了。Knowinghismotherhadcomeback,hegrinnedfromeartoear.正是媽媽的回來才讓他開心起來。

Itwashismother’scomingthatmadehimhappy.條件：只有他看到他媽媽的時候，他才開心。Onlywhenhesawhismothercanhebehappy讓步：盡管他有點傷心，他還是給了他媽媽一個微笑。sadashewas,hegavehismotherasmile.轉折：其他孩子沒有跟他玩，而是朝他扔泥巴。Insteadofplayingwithhim,otherkidsthrewmudtowardshim.combineactionandactionPara(4).shereflectedonhersuccess,sherealizedthatmindtrickhelpedherfinishtheone-milerace.(強調句型)Para2(2).Shestoppedthinkingthehugebuilding.Shefocusedonexploringthebuildingonepartatatimeandmarkingimportantlocationsonthemap.(轉折關系)動作+動作rewritethesentencesHavingreflectedonhersuccess,sherealizedthatitwasmindtrickthathelpedherfinishedone-mileraceInsteandofthinkingthehugebuidling,shefocusedonexploringthebuildingonepartatatimeandmarkingimportantlocationsonthemap.

Para2(3).thebuildingwashugeandcomplicated,itbecameeasiertomemorizetheroutesinthisway(轉折關系)Para2(7).Thisexperienceservedasareminderthatwithgreateffortsandacorretmindtrickonecouldovercomedifficultiesinlife.(前一句是條件)動作+動作rewritethesentencesHugeandcomplicatedasthebuildingwas,itbecameeasiertomemorizetheroutesinthisway.Thisexperienceservedasareminderthatonlywithgreateffortsandacorretmindtrickcouldoneovercomethedifficultiesinlife.onepossibleversion

lookingaround,shefoundherselfwasamongthetoprunners.Overjoyed,shejumpedintoairandcheered,“MyGod,Ican’tbelieveit!”.Itwasthefirsttimethatinhershoollifethatshehadfinishedone-milerace.Havingreflectedonhersuccess,sherealizedthatitwasmindtrickthathelpedherfinishedone-milerace.Breakingdownchallengingtaskintosmallpartscouldmakethingseasier.Shefe