第四部分寫作技能升華篇專題二讀后續(xù)寫第2講微觀把握突破讀后續(xù)寫技法四營造續(xù)寫故事的高潮技法點撥故事中的高潮是指故事達到最緊張或扣人心弦的那一部分。高潮有時候是劇情中的“危機”點。有時候，它只是達到了關(guān)鍵時刻或者轉(zhuǎn)折點，發(fā)生了一些事情，或者主角必須做出決定，從而導(dǎo)致一個結(jié)果。妙招1增加外部沖突增加外部沖突是一種明顯有效的可以達到故事高潮的方式。(1)角色之間的沖突Onthefourthorfifthnight,wehadtroublefindingahotelwithavacancy.Afterdrivinginvainfortime,Momsuddenlygotagreatidea:Whydidn'twefindahousewithalikely-lookingbackyardandaskifwecouldsetupatentthere?DavidandIbecamenervous.【解析】

開車找旅館→徒勞無功→母親建議在他人的后院搭帳篷→David和“我”倍感緊張，心有不悅(母子的觀點不一)(2)隨時間的發(fā)展，決策變得緊急Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.“Getintothecar！”PaulshoutedatMac.MacjumpedoffthebikeandslidintothecarwithoutdelayasthewolfwasjusttwostepsawayandwasabouttotearMacintopieces.Whatanarrowescape!【解析】

汽車突停面前→急喊上車→Mac上車避險→餓狼近在咫尺(此情此景，刻不容緩)(3)使用環(huán)境描寫增加不確定性充分利用環(huán)境描寫可以起到烘托故事高潮的作用。當(dāng)故事角色在碰到困難的時候，我們往往要加大筆墨來描寫故事環(huán)境的黑暗、恐怖和不祥。強化環(huán)境描寫可以增強高潮元素，使讀者感受到緊張倍增。Immediately,anabsolutedarknessruledtheforest.(黑暗)Evenworse,thetemperaturesuddenlydroppeddramatically.(寒冷)Itdidn'ttakelongfortheforesttobeenvelopedindarkness.(黑暗)Herraspingbreathsteamedinthemoonlightandherthroatwasparchedfromthirst.(寒冷)(4)由于增加的障礙，人物角色必須克服挑戰(zhàn)，以達到他們的目標Butbeforewejumpedoffthehorses,wefoundthatwehadbeenoffthebeatentrackandgotlost.Wehadnoideawherewewereanditgotdark.Exhaustedandhungry,Iwonderedifwecouldfindourwayback.【解析】

草原迷路(障礙1)——天色漸黑(障礙2)——又累又餓(障礙3)——心理恐慌(障礙4)妙招2放大內(nèi)心沖突放大內(nèi)心沖突(文中角色的內(nèi)心斗爭)也有助于建立一個高度緊張和不確定的時刻。Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.Janewassotired,hungry,andextremelyfrightened.Shethoughttoherself,“IfonlyIhadnotquarrelledwithTom.WhereisTom?Hemusthavemadetheemergencycall.WhatIneedisenoughcourage.IfIcontinuemyspiritstomorrow,Iwillbelikelytoguidethehelicopter.”Lyingbesidethestream,shefellasleepverysoon.Suddenly,sheheardtheshoutsoftigers,whichmadeherscaredtodeath.Aftersheheldherbreathforafewminutes,everythingwasquietagain.Intheterribledarkness,shesleptagain.【解析】

夫婦爭吵——妻子獨自行走——荒野走散，夜色漸黑——獨處森林——陰森恐怖——后悔莫及(內(nèi)心沖突的刻畫)——內(nèi)心獨白(往昔對比＋虛擬語氣的使用＋旁白描寫是常見技巧之一)真題體驗(2023·新高考全國Ⅰ、Ⅱ卷)WhenIwasinmiddleschool,mysocialstudiesteacheraskedmetoenterawritingcontest.Isaidnowithoutthinking.Ididnotlovewriting.MyfamilycamefromBrazil,soEnglishwasonlymysecondlanguage.WritingwassodifficultandpainfulformethatmyteacherhadallowedmetopresentmypaperonthesinkingoftheTitanicbyactingoutaplay,whereIplayedalltheparts.Noonelaughedharderthanhedid.So,whydidhesuddenlyforcemetodosomethingatwhichIwassuretofail?Hisreply:“BecauseIloveyourstories.Ifyou'rewillingtoapplyyourself,Ithinkyouhaveagoodshotatthis.”Encouragedbyhiswords,Iagreedtogiveitatry.IchosePaulRevere'shorseasmysubject.PaulReverewasasilversmith(銀匠)inBostonwhorodeahorseatnightonApril18,1775toLexingtontowarnpeoplethatBritishsoldierswerecoming.Mystorywouldcomestraightfromthehorse'smouth.Notabrilliantidea,butfunny;andunlikelytobeanyoneelse'schoice.Whatdidthehorsethink,ashespedthroughthenight?Didhegettired?Havedoubts?Didhewanttoquit?Isympathizedimmediately.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.But,likeRevere'shorse,Ikeptgoing.Iworkedhard.Icheckedmyspelling.Iaskedmyoldersistertocorrectmygrammar.IcheckedoutahalfdozenbooksonPaulReverefromthelibrary.Ievenreadafewofthem.WhenIhandedintheessaytomyteacher,hereadit,laughedoutloud,andsaid,“Great.Now,writeitagain.”Iwroteitagain,andagainandagain.WhenIfinallyfinishedit,thethoughtofwinninghadgivenwaytotheenjoymentofwriting.IfIdidn'twin,Iwouldn'tcare.注意：1．續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個左右；2．請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。真題體驗Paragraph1：A

few

weeks

later,when

I

almost

forgot

the

contest,there

came

the

news.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2：I

went

to

my

teacher's

office

after

the

award

presentation._________________________________________________________________________【解題示范】

第一步：精讀短文，掌握關(guān)鍵信息。本文以人物為線索展開，講述了作者上中學(xué)的時候，社會學(xué)老師邀請作者參加一個寫作比賽。作者不喜歡寫作，于是想都沒想就拒絕了。但是在老師的鼓勵下，作者同意試一試。作者在寫作過程中雖然很累，但是沒有放棄，堅持了下來。在作者最終完成寫作時，作者感到寫作讓他很快樂，他已經(jīng)不在乎輸贏了。第二步：根據(jù)已知，構(gòu)思續(xù)寫思路。1．由第一段首句內(nèi)容“幾個星期后，當(dāng)我?guī)缀跬洷荣惖臅r候，傳來了消息。”和第二段首句“頒獎后我去了老師的辦公室。”可知，第一段可描寫作者獲得比賽一等獎，在頒獎典禮上作者表達了對社會老師的感激。2．由第二段首句內(nèi)容“頒獎后我去了老師的辦公室。”可知，第二段可描寫老師鼓勵作者繼續(xù)寫作，自此作者堅持寫作取得了成功，作者將這一切歸功于自己的老師。第三步：結(jié)合情景，添加具體細節(jié)。根據(jù)題目所提供兩段首句構(gòu)思的續(xù)寫思路，繼而思考續(xù)寫線索：比賽消息傳來——作者獲獎——高興——頒獎典禮感謝老師——頒獎后來到老師辦公室——老師告訴作者堅持寫作——作者表達了對寫作的喜愛——作者寫作取得了成功——感激老師。第四步：擬寫草稿，修改錯詞病句。在搭建好寫作框架和基本內(nèi)容后，開始著手打草稿，對羅列的要點進行重新篩選和整合，適當(dāng)拓展要點，盡量使用表意準確、形象生動、符合以英語為母語的人的習(xí)慣表達方式的高級詞匯，同時應(yīng)注意長短句結(jié)合，讓句式靈活多變，以體現(xiàn)考生深厚的語言功底，使文章更出彩。如行為類：①告知：inform/tell②成功做到：makeit/succeed③表達：express/convey。情緒類：①高興的：happy/glad②激動地：excitedly/withexcitement；高分句式：IwasinformedthatIwonthefirstprizeinthewritingcontestandthattherewouldbeanawardpresentationintwodays.(運用了由連接詞that引導(dǎo)的賓語從句)，It'syouwhomakemefallinlovewithwriting,mysocialstudiesteacher.(運用了強調(diào)句)，Iowemysuccesstomysocialteacherwhoisabeaconinmylifeontheroadtowriting.(運用了who引導(dǎo)的限制性定語從句)等。第五步潤色成篇，規(guī)范謄寫文章。在謄寫文章時，還需要對語言進行修飾、潤色，恰當(dāng)運用銜接手段，以使文本緊湊流暢。【范文】Paragraph1：A

few

weeks

later,when

I

almost

forgot

the

contest,there

came

the

news.IwasinformedthatIwonthefirstprizeinthewritingcontestandthattherewouldbeanawardpresentationintwodays.IwassohappytohearthenewsthatIimmediatelyshareditwithmyteacher.“Iknewyou'dwin!Iamproudofyou.Youmadeit！”hesaidexcitedly.Thencamethebigday.WhenIwasinvitedtothestagetoreceivetheaward,Iexpressedmythankstomyteacher.Isaid,“