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高考讀后續寫|親情類閱讀下面材料,根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段,使之構成一篇完整的短文。續寫的詞數應為150左右。Jennywastheonlychildinherhome.Shehadaquarrelwithhermotherthatafternoonandsheranoutofthehouseangrily.Shecouldn'thelpweepingwhenshethoughtofthescolding(責罵)
fromhermother.Havingwanderedinthestreetforhours,shefeltalittlehungryandwishedforsomethingtoeat.Shestoodbesideastandforawhile,
watchingthemiddleagedsellerbusydoinghisbusiness.However,withnomoneyinhand,shesighed
(嘆氣)
andhadtoleave.Thesellerbehindthestand(攤位)
noticedtheyounggirlandasked,"Hey,girl,youwanttohavethenoodles?""Oh,yes...butIdon'thavemoneyonme,"shereplied.“That'snothing.I'lltreatyoutoday,"saidtheman."
ein."Thesellerbroughtherabowlofnoodles,whosesmellwassoattractive.Asshewaseating,
Jennycriedsilently.“Whatisit?"
askedthemankindly.“Nothing,actuallyIwasjusttouchedbyyourkindness!"
saidJenny."
Evenastrangeronthestreetwillgivemeabowlofnoodles,whilemymotherdrovemeoutofthehouse.
Sheshowednocareforme.Sheissomerciless(殘忍的)
paredtoastranger!"Hearingthewords,thesellersmiled,"Girl,
doyoureallythinkso?Ionlygaveyouabowlofnoodlesandyouthankedmealot.Butitisyourmotherwhohasraisedyousinceyouwereababy.Canyounumberthetimesshecookedforyou?Haveyouexpressedyourgratitude(感激)toher?"Jennysatthere,speechlessandnumbwithshock;sherememberedMother'sfamiliarfaceandweathered(飽經風霜的)
hands."
WhydidInotthinkofthat?Abowlofnoodlesfromastrangermademefeelgrateful,butIhaveneverthankedmymumforwhatshehasdoneforme."Onthewayhome,Jennymadeuphermindtomakeanapologytohermotherforherrudenessassoonasshearrivedhome.Paragraph1:Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.Paragraph2:Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.故事解讀:Jenny和她母親大吵一架之后,生氣出走,在路上閑蕩,饑餓難耐地看著路邊的小販做著面條生意,因為沒錢只能嘆息離開,善良的小販卻叫住了她并免費請Jenny吃了碗面條,Jenny甚是感動,覺得陌生人都對自己這么好,而自己的母親卻是經常斥責她。小販點醒了Jenny,是她自己的母親每天都在為她做飯,是她自己的母親撫養她長大,卻從未向母親表示過感激之情,Jenny倍感羞愧,決心為自己的態度向母親道歉。內容上:大部分同學能做到情節設定合理,符合故事發展的邏輯順序。亮點內容有,在續寫第一段寫到Jenny回到家中,看到桌上放著母親已經做好的一碗面條;補充了Jenny和母親爭吵的原因。在第二段Jenny為表示感激之情,為母親下了一碗面條,最后情感升華。而個別同學存在的問題,第一段結尾和第二段段首銜接不上,Jenny思緒既沒飄走,母親也出現在了第一段中,這樣的情節設置稍有不當,且篇幅有限,不好創設新的情境。寫作思路:
梳理人物情節情緒時,引導學生關注Jenny從“生氣”到“羞愧”的變化,使之理解母愛的真正含義,推知故事主題(understandingmother’slove)和寫作目的(improvingtherelationshipbetweenparentsandchildren),進而推斷故事結局。
通過問題幫助學生搭建第一段寫作思路。例如:
(1)WhatwouldJennydonext?
(2)WhydidJennytakeadeepbreath?
(3)WhatdidJennythinkinhermind?
問題(1)(2)主要根據第一段提示句進行推斷,問題(3)根據第二段提示句推導Jenny的思緒,三個問題為學生搭建續寫第一段結構框架即內容要點——knockedatoropenedthedoor/whatshesaw/whatshethought。范文一Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.
Notknowingwhat
wouldhappennext,Jenny,gatheringhercourage,pushedthedoor
open,
onlytofindtherewasnobodyhome.Anxietybegantocreepuponher."WhereismyMom?Isshestillstillangrywithme?",Jennycouldn'thelp
thinkingaboutallthese.Havingwanderedoutsideforawholeday,Jenny
feltabittired.Sittingonthesofa,shebegantoshedtearsofregret,lostin
deepthought.Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.
Raisingherhead,Jenny
foundhermotherstandingbehindher."Mom,Iamsorry.Ishouldn'thave
beensorudetoyou.Iknowfullywellallthatyoudidwasforme."Jenny
said,withtearsalreadyfallingdownhercheeks."It'sfinethatyouareback!I
havebeenlookingforyoueverywhere."mothersaid.Deeplymoved,Jenny
threwherselfathermotherandtheyhuggedtightly.Itwasnotuntilthat
momentthatJennyrealizedthatwhateverhappened,hermotherwould
alwaysbethereforher!范文二Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.Whenshepushedthedooropenandenteredthehouse,shefoundhermotherwasnotin.Tiredandsad,shesankdownontothesofa.“Wherecouldmymotherbe?”shewondered.“Wasshestillangrywithme?”Again,thesceneofthequarrelappearedinhermind.Sherememberedherrudenesstohermother.Realizingthatallthescoldingfromhermotherwasduetothefactthathermotherreallycaredalotabouther,sheratherfeltashamed,andtearsbegantorolldownhercheeks.Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.
sheraisedherheadandsawthefamiliarfaceofhermother.“Hereyoue!I'vebeenlookingforyou.”shesaid,tiredandrelieved.Jennycouldn'thelpthrowingherselfintohermother'sarms.“Mum,I'msosorryandthankyouforallyouhavedoneforme.”Sheexpressedhersincereapologyandgreatgratitude.Hearingthis,hermothersmiled,pattingherbackgently.
范文三Approachingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.
Withpalmssweatingandthroattightening,sheopenedthedooratlast.“Mom,”shesaidweakly.However,nobodyanswered.Shecouldn’tfindhermotheranywhereathome.Whathermotherdidforhersprangupinhermind,likecookingforher,washingherclothesandsoon.Heartbeatingpainfullyandbangingagainstherribs,shewasstruckdeadwithregretduetotakingMother’sloveforgrantedandforgettingtoconveytimelygratitude.Theideathatit’snevertoolatetomakeasincereapologyhither.Agentletouchonherhaircalledhermindback.
Raisingherheadup,Jennycaughtsightofafamiliarface.Itwasherbelovedmotherthatlookeddirectlyintohereyeswitharadiantsmile.Urgedbytheforcetorightthewrong,shespokeupwithafirmtone,“Mom,I’mdeeplysorryformyrudeness.Itwon’thappenagain!Ipromise!Wouldyouforgiveme?”Shecouldfeeltearswellingupinhereyes.“Youarealwaysmylittlegirl!”MomeyedJennytenderly.Asthesettingsuncastagoldenglowonbothoftheirfaces,theyembracedeachothertightly.Andthen,handinhand,theysteppedintothehouse.范文四Nearingthedoorway,Jennytookadeepbreath.Notknowingwhatwouldhappennext,Jenny,gatheringhercourage,pushedthedooropen,onlytofindtherewasnobodyhome.Anxietybegantocreepuponher"WhereismyMom?Isshestillstillangrywithme?",Jennycouldn'thelpthinkingaboutallthese.
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